JohnnyStrabler
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Feb 14, 2017
- Messages
- 2
So, I just took LSD for the first time yesterday. It was 'blotted paper LSD'. I remember experiencing a sense of calm after taking my first tiny strip. Felt like I was in the moment and the sunset just looked so absolutely exquisite. On the way back, I noticed the changing shapes of the cobblestones on the pathway. They weren't magically metamorphizing like I thought they would, but seemed lighter to walk on and more detailed to look at.
As time passed though, I felt myself getting restless, cause I had NO visions. Began getting paranoid and felt as though my friends had conspired to give me less. Their every word made me believe that they were conspiring to have a little more and not give it to me. This made me feel TERRIBLE and essentially started my BT.
They eventually found a way to be together and took another strip without telling me about it, which made me feel even worse. I don't know what was going on in their mind, but I saw no reason, for them not to treat me with equality.
As we started walking, every word they spoke of, was indirectly mocking/taunting me. They even spoke to the dog on the street, personifying him as a person, and I thought it was being directed towards me. They thought I was trying to stop THEM from having more, but that wasn't the case, I just thought that they would treat me with the same respect I show them as an old friend. It seemed as though they were talking in a code, and this code, was just a means to bring me down.
I finally pleaded SO much that they gave me another tiny strip but there was a lot more left which they saved for each other while telling me there's none. They even looked at each other and said, "There's more" with a wink. I felt REALLY left out and terrible. I was pretty much alienated throughout and every single one of their lines seemed as though it was directed towards me.
I was stuck in that thought loop, broke down like crazy, but they just seemed to keep doing it even AFTER I confronted them about it (multiple times- may I add). The anxiety kept getting worse and worse and the lines seemed to get stingier and stingier. I couldn't seem to get myself out of it. At times they said I was building it all up in my head, while at other times they basically admitted, that what I was sensing was correct. I was just so confused, and still am about the entire thing, to be honest.
The taunts seemed to be continuing through the morning and I came away thinking that my friends were just using me through all these years for the financial security I provided. I'm not sure whether they were making all these statements 'under the influence' of the drug, whether I was just amplifying everything in my head, whether they just used the acid as an excuse and last night as an opportunity to tell me how they felt. Been a 6 year friendship. VERY upsetting.
I'm pretty confused about the entire thing, to be honest. Is this low going to go away? Is this a sign that I should probably keep a distance from these guys? Or was it just the drug talking? What does this tell me about myself? Can I take out some important learnings from this? How long does the low last? Any idea how this entire scenario can be interpreted knowing how the mechanism of LSD works?
Thanks,
Cheers!!
As time passed though, I felt myself getting restless, cause I had NO visions. Began getting paranoid and felt as though my friends had conspired to give me less. Their every word made me believe that they were conspiring to have a little more and not give it to me. This made me feel TERRIBLE and essentially started my BT.
They eventually found a way to be together and took another strip without telling me about it, which made me feel even worse. I don't know what was going on in their mind, but I saw no reason, for them not to treat me with equality.
As we started walking, every word they spoke of, was indirectly mocking/taunting me. They even spoke to the dog on the street, personifying him as a person, and I thought it was being directed towards me. They thought I was trying to stop THEM from having more, but that wasn't the case, I just thought that they would treat me with the same respect I show them as an old friend. It seemed as though they were talking in a code, and this code, was just a means to bring me down.
I finally pleaded SO much that they gave me another tiny strip but there was a lot more left which they saved for each other while telling me there's none. They even looked at each other and said, "There's more" with a wink. I felt REALLY left out and terrible. I was pretty much alienated throughout and every single one of their lines seemed as though it was directed towards me.
I was stuck in that thought loop, broke down like crazy, but they just seemed to keep doing it even AFTER I confronted them about it (multiple times- may I add). The anxiety kept getting worse and worse and the lines seemed to get stingier and stingier. I couldn't seem to get myself out of it. At times they said I was building it all up in my head, while at other times they basically admitted, that what I was sensing was correct. I was just so confused, and still am about the entire thing, to be honest.
The taunts seemed to be continuing through the morning and I came away thinking that my friends were just using me through all these years for the financial security I provided. I'm not sure whether they were making all these statements 'under the influence' of the drug, whether I was just amplifying everything in my head, whether they just used the acid as an excuse and last night as an opportunity to tell me how they felt. Been a 6 year friendship. VERY upsetting.
I'm pretty confused about the entire thing, to be honest. Is this low going to go away? Is this a sign that I should probably keep a distance from these guys? Or was it just the drug talking? What does this tell me about myself? Can I take out some important learnings from this? How long does the low last? Any idea how this entire scenario can be interpreted knowing how the mechanism of LSD works?
Thanks,
Cheers!!
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