Lsd death... Life confusion... Isolation...

[Yuri057]

Since lsd death i have been on a rollercoaster of confusion for few years now... I work and independent but the confusion comes and goes... Sometimes I go smoke weed in forest at night alone... When i get scared I run around like an animal... Just operating on instincts... Flight or fight.... Plants see me everything turns digital for a while where only logic is the way of information... I answer im alive i want to live... nature wants me to merge with it... Im afraid if i do i wont be able to go back... my body is not designed for survival in this ecosystem therefore im a foreign substance on this planet... If we evolved from earth lifeforms wouldnt it make more sense we would adopt to surrounding environment better overtime instead of creating our own....
Since ego death iv been in complete isolation... Its like im an alien.... There is nothing in common with anyone...
People stay clear of me... I suspect its the parasites that alter their reality... When ur out of the dark energy grid it wants u back by trying to make u miserable.... So ur back generating suffering and dark energy they feed on.... I find it could be anything from frequent masturbation to looping thoughts worries... Anxiety.... Humans are not ment to be like that this... Itsnot normal....
Anyone has any experience with merging with nature? Or any other forces? Or with the insect dark parasires that feed on souls....
Anyone else feels like alien from a different dimention... Its not that im not active shy or dont try... I talk to people... But it feels similar as talking to trees....

Even my family... Its like everything true is now and all the false has disapeared... I never had a real relationship with anyone yet...
In truth the darkness cannot be present... So this isreal...

Im almost 30 ex military ex trucker and pushing to the outer limits of the human perception... Looking for the truth... Love... And somewhere to belong to... On my way to god... A higher force... We all have our ways.. They all meet at the end...

Thanks for reading... Im curious if anyone out there can understand...

 

[psy997]

Merge with nature

 

[Yeetbeat]

Ah, but we did evolve to suit our surroundings - until the invention of tools. From there we began to mould our environment to suit our needs and desires. It's much faster to change the world you live in, than to wait generations for evolutionary change yourself

It sounds like you're in a fairly deep place, but not dark by any measure. You're as you say - confused - and it's not your fault either. You've rediscovered yourself in the world, and how you fit in (or as these explorations of consciousness and reality may reveal - how one seemingly does not fit). It certainly doesn't mean you no longer have place in this world; you've just seen the greater picture beyond your immediate reality, and perhaps you feel as though there's somewhere else within these expanded views you belong. Now you just need to find where

But yes. As above. Merge with nature. Perhaps not in the literal physical sense of the concept though that might get messy. You're certainly right though - we all have our ways. They all meet in the end. I like that

 

[Oak]

So just let go...

 

[Tranced]

Dark knight of the soul? https://www.eckharttolle.com/newsletter/october-2011

I guess it's different for everyone, but I bet many of the users on this forum have been there (including me).

Not everyone is insufferable. Surround yourself with people you enjoy talking to. Many people who take psychedelics and/or consider themselves spiritual have been through this, and understand.

 

[Bagseed]

I think most importantly you have to work on ending you social isolation. in my opinion, everybody has these feelings you are talking about inside them, but they are maybe less aware of it or better adjusted. Man is a social creature and especially in times of crisis, we need people to support us. were you ever able to talk to another person about your pain?

I had a rough time with Derealization and the existential terror that came with it, so I can relate, I guess.

 

[Dresden]

Don't worry, man. You'll find somebody to love you soon enough. Almost everyone does, including philosophical LSD trippers. Just don't stop trying. If you're thoughts are troubling, consider going to a doctor to get anti-psychotics. Good luck.