Hi, I've used LSD about 10 times starting from ~100ug, but it wasn't until my most recent trip at ~300ug (with 800mg piracetam) that I experienced an actual change in personality.
A little background. I used to be extremely introverted as a child. I have been improving slowly, but am still quite shy today at 23 years old. I took up dancing 3 years ago, and this helped me more than anything else, but I am still not how I want to be. In my dancing, although I have good technical ability, I find it very hard to "let go" of myself and really dance and have fun doing it. I think the problem is a lack of self confidence. I should note that from an intellectual perspective there is no reason why I shouldn't be confident: I am (or at least believe myself to be) good looking, have a good body, I'm young, healthy, and intelligent, I have an amazing girlfriend and great friends in my life, I have more money than I need, a good house and a decent job. Also I don't have depression or any similar mental disorder.
During the peak of this 300ug trip I felt like I 'let go' of myself and when my ego came back I was a lot more confident. It's hard to describe, but it felt like previously I would always be too embarrassed to try to do things, even if I believe I am already good at it. If I make a mistake, I would be embarrassed and not want to continue, and this is especially pronounced if someone is watching me (but still applies if I am totally alone). After the peak of this trip, I felt like I was no longer afraid of embarrassment, and instead I wanted to "show off" more at things I believe I am good at. I also felt extremely strong and muscular, whereas normally I feel much more average on a subconscious level (despite knowing that I am very athletic). This was not like the change I have experienced over the past few years, which although I have been getting more confident, it's more like I am less afraid of doing stuff after I force myself to do it many times. During this acid trip, it was like I just felt totally confident in myself, I wanted to even try new things and attempt with confidence that I could actually do it. I've never really felt this way before, it was sort of like I had an attitude shift from "I must be really careful not to mess up or do something embarrassing" to "I must make sure that I show off what I can, if I make a mistake then that is fine I'm only human". I had changed my mannerisms slightly, I held my face in a different way, I walked in a different way and it felt really good.
Anyway I felt like that until I went to sleep, and when I woke up I was back to normal. I tried to pull my face and walk back to what it was during the trip but it just felt forced and didn't bring back any of the confidence. My question is if anybody else has had similar experiences, if it is possible for these kind of changes to be more permanent, and if so how do I do it?
tl;dr I took 300ug of acid and felt a lot more confident until I came down, how can I make it permanent?
A little background. I used to be extremely introverted as a child. I have been improving slowly, but am still quite shy today at 23 years old. I took up dancing 3 years ago, and this helped me more than anything else, but I am still not how I want to be. In my dancing, although I have good technical ability, I find it very hard to "let go" of myself and really dance and have fun doing it. I think the problem is a lack of self confidence. I should note that from an intellectual perspective there is no reason why I shouldn't be confident: I am (or at least believe myself to be) good looking, have a good body, I'm young, healthy, and intelligent, I have an amazing girlfriend and great friends in my life, I have more money than I need, a good house and a decent job. Also I don't have depression or any similar mental disorder.
During the peak of this 300ug trip I felt like I 'let go' of myself and when my ego came back I was a lot more confident. It's hard to describe, but it felt like previously I would always be too embarrassed to try to do things, even if I believe I am already good at it. If I make a mistake, I would be embarrassed and not want to continue, and this is especially pronounced if someone is watching me (but still applies if I am totally alone). After the peak of this trip, I felt like I was no longer afraid of embarrassment, and instead I wanted to "show off" more at things I believe I am good at. I also felt extremely strong and muscular, whereas normally I feel much more average on a subconscious level (despite knowing that I am very athletic). This was not like the change I have experienced over the past few years, which although I have been getting more confident, it's more like I am less afraid of doing stuff after I force myself to do it many times. During this acid trip, it was like I just felt totally confident in myself, I wanted to even try new things and attempt with confidence that I could actually do it. I've never really felt this way before, it was sort of like I had an attitude shift from "I must be really careful not to mess up or do something embarrassing" to "I must make sure that I show off what I can, if I make a mistake then that is fine I'm only human". I had changed my mannerisms slightly, I held my face in a different way, I walked in a different way and it felt really good.
Anyway I felt like that until I went to sleep, and when I woke up I was back to normal. I tried to pull my face and walk back to what it was during the trip but it just felt forced and didn't bring back any of the confidence. My question is if anybody else has had similar experiences, if it is possible for these kind of changes to be more permanent, and if so how do I do it?
tl;dr I took 300ug of acid and felt a lot more confident until I came down, how can I make it permanent?