Back in Novermber of this year, I decided to try LSD for the first time with a few friends of mine. It was one tab with 150 ug. Initially I was okay, I was laughing at nothing and having fun. But as an hour mark came in, this light feeling in my stomach began to surface and shortly after anxiety set in. I felt trapped in my mind as we watched the same space travel tripping screen on my friends TV and listening to music. I felt trapped inside this tight space (in my friends basement). It felt like I couldn't breathe as if someone was sitting on my chest. That made me paranoid that I was either having a heart attack, an allergic reaction, or something else that would cause me to die. Along with this I was fearing how awful my family would feel about my mistake in messing with this drug. It was so bad I couldn't even really laugh or talk. As some time passed maybe 3 or 4 hours after dropping. I noticed that my vision was full of darkness as I saw the outline of my friends basement (I think for all I know it could've been a different room altogether). Accompanied by a lamp lightning up the area that my vision was forced to look at. During this "state" I was extremely confused and really had no clue what the fuck was going on. I couldn't move or talk at all. I don't know how long I was like this, but I eventually remember just being upright in the same seat I was in all night continuing to look ahead. My friends never said that I was doing anything like walking around or anything as such. I mean I assume if I was having a seizure someone would've noticed it. As some more time went by my friends mom came down and told us all to go to sleep. Of course we all were lying down but none of us went to sleep. The thing that was bugging me out was that when it was a few hours later and all of us were awake, they were all fine. But I still felt fucked up and that made me feel even worse. We went to a diner and I couldn't even do simple math to pay for what little amount of food I did buy but didn't eat any of it. It wasn't until the next day that I was able to fight my way through the fear, fast pace heart beating, and shame I felt. It took about three weeks to feel fully better. However, one night I decided to drink some beer (enough to get good and drunk). The next morning I woke up in a panic. I was in absolute fear. My heart was racing and pounding. After this it took me a few more months to get close to fully better. Even now I still get feelings of hopelessness but no panic attacks. My main question that I have about this is I'm not sure what happened to me during that blackout. In fact some of my anxiety came from that. I feared that maybe I died and was living out my life in a dream like simulation in my mind. Or maybe I'm in a coma and none of this is real. After trying to google this to see if anyone has ever experienced this I came up with nothing.
Sorry everyone I know this is a long thread, but I felt like all of this should have been involved to let you all know the situation. By the way, I know it's dumb that I've even done this and even dumber that I'm considering to do it again, but I have anxiety and schizophrenia in my family history. My grandma and brother have it, and uncle had it as well. I appreciate any and all feedback. Thank you.
Sorry everyone I know this is a long thread, but I felt like all of this should have been involved to let you all know the situation. By the way, I know it's dumb that I've even done this and even dumber that I'm considering to do it again, but I have anxiety and schizophrenia in my family history. My grandma and brother have it, and uncle had it as well. I appreciate any and all feedback. Thank you.