LSD catatonic state?

[Taye]

Back in Novermber of this year, I decided to try LSD for the first time with a few friends of mine. It was one tab with 150 ug. Initially I was okay, I was laughing at nothing and having fun. But as an hour mark came in, this light feeling in my stomach began to surface and shortly after anxiety set in. I felt trapped in my mind as we watched the same space travel tripping screen on my friends TV and listening to music. I felt trapped inside this tight space (in my friends basement). It felt like I couldn't breathe as if someone was sitting on my chest. That made me paranoid that I was either having a heart attack, an allergic reaction, or something else that would cause me to die. Along with this I was fearing how awful my family would feel about my mistake in messing with this drug. It was so bad I couldn't even really laugh or talk. As some time passed maybe 3 or 4 hours after dropping. I noticed that my vision was full of darkness as I saw the outline of my friends basement (I think for all I know it could've been a different room altogether). Accompanied by a lamp lightning up the area that my vision was forced to look at. During this "state" I was extremely confused and really had no clue what the fuck was going on. I couldn't move or talk at all. I don't know how long I was like this, but I eventually remember just being upright in the same seat I was in all night continuing to look ahead. My friends never said that I was doing anything like walking around or anything as such. I mean I assume if I was having a seizure someone would've noticed it. As some more time went by my friends mom came down and told us all to go to sleep. Of course we all were lying down but none of us went to sleep. The thing that was bugging me out was that when it was a few hours later and all of us were awake, they were all fine. But I still felt fucked up and that made me feel even worse. We went to a diner and I couldn't even do simple math to pay for what little amount of food I did buy but didn't eat any of it. It wasn't until the next day that I was able to fight my way through the fear, fast pace heart beating, and shame I felt. It took about three weeks to feel fully better. However, one night I decided to drink some beer (enough to get good and drunk). The next morning I woke up in a panic. I was in absolute fear. My heart was racing and pounding. After this it took me a few more months to get close to fully better. Even now I still get feelings of hopelessness but no panic attacks. My main question that I have about this is I'm not sure what happened to me during that blackout. In fact some of my anxiety came from that. I feared that maybe I died and was living out my life in a dream like simulation in my mind. Or maybe I'm in a coma and none of this is real. After trying to google this to see if anyone has ever experienced this I came up with nothing.
Sorry everyone I know this is a long thread, but I felt like all of this should have been involved to let you all know the situation. By the way, I know it's dumb that I've even done this and even dumber that I'm considering to do it again, but I have anxiety and schizophrenia in my family history. My grandma and brother have it, and uncle had it as well. I appreciate any and all feedback. Thank you.

 

[Taye]

Sorry, just realized that I posted in the wrong section. Would an admin or staff member be able to move the thread to the correct section or do I have the ability to do that?

 

[Motifoner]

Hello Taye
I dont think i can answer your entire question/s really, not within my experiences but i can tell you lsd is renowned for bringing anxiety out, specially on the comeup(often the 1 hour mark anxiety sets).
Lsd lets your mind go outside the box at extreme lengths of seemingly never ending fractal webs of thought. One bad thought. Will lead to another on lsd and when it does it hits you in the chest.
Lsd does a really good job of amplifying your feelings to a point of any thought of decent significance will pretty much be chained to your thought proccess.
Essentially re-programming yourself.
This is something i have learnt from many acid trips.

With those things in mind.
It seems to me that you sat "in the boiling pot" of anxiety and delusion for hours. Which consequently wouldnt suprise me if it left you with anxiety.

As to how to fix your anxiety? Well my suggestion is to try keep a grip on reality, You are real mate. Your parents should support you through this if you need. BUT i am not a doctor please seek proffesional advice if you feel like this could impact your life or something drastic and un-handalable.

Im sorry for long comment but please be careful or better yet dont take drugs if your family has strong roots with scitzophrenia. Ive had 2 mates go skits from drugs, one of them stabbed my/his friend almost killing him. The other one broke down into a distant introvert who i dont hear from much now, from what i do hear though hes on a never ending struggle to maintain the plot.
I hope something i have written in this comment helps you peace.

 

[Taye]

Thank you for your response Motifoner I appreciate it. Fortunately, I have been mostly better from these thoughts and the anxiety. I have been thinking since I took it that I probably shouldn't have in the first place, and definitely shouldn't do it again. Against that judgement there is a high chance I'm going to try it again at least once. When/if I do I will reply you informing you how my next experience is. Thank you again!

 

[Taye]

*Bumping* hoping someone may be able to tell me what happened to me.

 

[ipwnedx]

Hi Taye.

In this 'catatonic state' of yours...

Did it feel as if you were in the 'wubwubwub' of things? As if you were stuck on a certain thought that spiraled out of control? You would think of a thought for point A, then go to point B, only to come back to point A? As if your thoughts were taking an endless roller coaster?


I also had an intense experience similar to yours. I became stuck in a thought loop and for the rest of the trip felt very weird, very mechanic. However, that was the most intense and eye-opening experience of my life.


I think you are letting this get to you too much. Sure it sucks becoming a little desensitized from this experience, but you can learn to integrate it.


Let this experience teach you more about your mind, if you are more anxious and such.

I'm sorry this is giving you trouble.
I would 100% reccomend looking into mindfulness. It helps IMMENSELY.

 

[Solipsis]

It sounds dissociation related, maybe with some anxiety attack secondary to it... even though LSD is not classified as a dissociative drug, like most other psychedelics it has a dissociative side.

Trips can really vary, occasionally people get one that is unusually balanced compared to other ones. Maybe if you trip thrice and get these same kinds of phenomena every time it would be more worth analyzing, but for now I would just focus on the basics, the set and setting everyone does well to concentrate on preparing for.

You might wanna choose a very different setting than a basement like out in nature, maybe with less friends / less going on - just one single best friend and more freedom to just be yourself. See if you still have similar issues... It's not healthy to be suppressed in your expression, it breeds anxious feelings. And anxiety when bad enough can really linger from psychedelics because they imprint, a little like brainwashing. Traumatic experiences can linger for years when imprinted on psychedelics.

So maybe don't trip again until you can arrange for a great setting, a day off somewhere that is both safe but also very free for you to do whatever you wanna do.

If right now of after subsequent trips you feel like you have an unreasonably strong anxious or depersonalized reaction while everything is basically cool, you might wanna decide in time to hold off further tripping to protect yourself... but it is really only you yourself who would have to judge whether your reactions are disproportionate and threatening to your mental stability, or if it is indeed possible that the situation just did a number on you.

Feeling frozen may also be a defense mechanism: the anxiety / stress that can cause a flight or flight response can also cause a few other behaviors like freezing. They are together the basic defense mechanisms.

 

[Toltec]

Well written advice ^ Set and setting as well as what kind of music you are listening to will influence your trip...
Mucic Lyrics can trigger "happy <or> Scary" emotions you don't want to entertain whilst on an LSD / Psychedelic trip.

 

[washingtonbound]

Couple things here man:
1. Set and setting: This influences anyone's trip greatly. If you are not extremely comfortable and in a situation where you don't have to worry about anyone "catching you" who doesn't know about it (i.e. parents), it can be become very uncomfortable. I've had trips before where simply being in the same house with my mom caused me to freak out, and she even knows about my drug use. So if you have a tendency to be paranoid it's like a trainwreck.
2. "Mental disorders:" I don't like using this term but if you have a fragile mind to begin with psychedelics can greatly exacerbate it. Basically any existing energy you're harboring will be brought out and you'll be forced to deal with it..

 

[Taye]

Hi Taye.

In this 'catatonic state' of yours...

Did it feel as if you were in the 'wubwubwub' of things? As if you were stuck on a certain thought that spiraled out of control? You would think of a thought for point A, then go to point B, only to come back to point A? As if your thoughts were taking an endless roller coaster?


I also had an intense experience similar to yours. I became stuck in a thought loop and for the rest of the trip felt very weird, very mechanic. However, that was the most intense and eye-opening experience of my life.


I think you are letting this get to you too much. Sure it sucks becoming a little desensitized from this experience, but you can learn to integrate it.


Let this experience teach you more about your mind, if you are more anxious and such.

I'm sorry this is giving you trouble.
I would 100% reccomend looking into mindfulness. It helps IMMENSELY.

Thanks for the reply ipwnedx. And to answer your question, I did start to have a lot of thought loops. But the main problem is that one thought loop would start and then another would start right after. Then another would follow and so on. But in the state I was talking about, I didn't really have the capability to think let alone have any thought loops. It was almost as if I was asleep. Where I was completely unaware of what was going on. I couldn't move or talk (so much as I remember I may have been sitting up talking with my friends for all I know). This fact is the thing that scares me the most from the entire experience. Because I don't know for sure if I had a heart attack or some sort of high or low blood pressure thing or another physical problem.

 

[Taye]

It sounds dissociation related, maybe with some anxiety attack secondary to it... even though LSD is not classified as a dissociative drug, like most other psychedelics it has a dissociative side.

Trips can really vary, occasionally people get one that is unusually balanced compared to other ones. Maybe if you trip thrice and get these same kinds of phenomena every time it would be more worth analyzing, but for now I would just focus on the basics, the set and setting everyone does well to concentrate on preparing for.

You might wanna choose a very different setting than a basement like out in nature, maybe with less friends / less going on - just one single best friend and more freedom to just be yourself. See if you still have similar issues... It's not healthy to be suppressed in your expression, it breeds anxious feelings. And anxiety when bad enough can really linger from psychedelics because they imprint, a little like brainwashing. Traumatic experiences can linger for years when imprinted on psychedelics.

So maybe don't trip again until you can arrange for a great setting, a day off somewhere that is both safe but also very free for you to do whatever you wanna do.

If right now of after subsequent trips you feel like you have an unreasonably strong anxious or depersonalized reaction while everything is basically cool, you might wanna decide in time to hold off further tripping to protect yourself... but it is really only you yourself who would have to judge whether your reactions are disproportionate and threatening to your mental stability, or if it is indeed possible that the situation just did a number on you.

Feeling frozen may also be a defense mechanism: the anxiety / stress that can cause a flight or flight response can also cause a few other behaviors like freezing. They are together the basic defense mechanisms.

That's what my though was, the confined basement may have caused the problem. But I've decided that I shouldn't do any psychedelics. The long line of mental disorders in my family deters from me wanting to take the risk.

I thank everyone for their responses, and still hope to hear from more of you.