Ok, it's been 4 years now (though it was only supposed to be 3-6mos) and I can't, for the life of me, get off of suboxone. The closest I came to being free was using oxy for nearly 2mos and switching back to sub for a rapid taper using low doses. Two weeks into having stopped, I was still in nasty withdrawal, that combined with some other extenuating circumstances led me back to sub. This was in 2013. Since, I've also tried other opiates for two weeks to reset the system, and I believe it would have worked if I had the means and time to continue for an extra two weeks. I'm at a point right now that I don't know what to do.
Aside from going back to school, and even that had gotten screwed up for a time, sub has not made me a more productive person, in fact, it's done the opposite. I'm sick of it. I can't stabilize on a dose under 1mg. It took nearly 3mos to realize I was in constant sub-acute withdrawal and unable to stabilize at 0.5mg, so I'm stuck at 1mg. I initially thought the withdrawal was due to my concurrent benzo taper, but I temporarily increased my klonopin dose and realized it was definitely the sub.
I recently spoke to my doctor about this and he recommended methadone, but knows/fears I'll run into problems because of the benzos . He offered comfort meds and wants me increase the benzos when I'm ready to jump. The Kpin has a paradoxical effect in doses higher than 0.25mg, so Im concerned this will just create extra problems. He wants me to get to the jumping point by skipping days without tapering any lower than my current 1mg, but I'm hitting a wall of withdrawal symptoms approx. 30 hrs after my last sub dose. I dose at the same time everyday to keep blood levels as constant as possible.
Overall, suboxone comprises the majority of the 12yrs of my opiate use, as I was on it several times since 2004. It's a blessing to begin with, but I've never had anything less than an awful experience getting off of this even after short stints (6weeks) on. I nearly always wound up back on drugs with a worsening habit within a month of stopping due to the never ending withdrawal that wasn't mitigated by any number of legally prescribed alternatives. (6mg Xanax, Librium ect)
Ten years ago I was on methadone and getting off of it was a cakewalk compared to sub. I've called around to the area clinics and they won't accept me unless I enter an inpatient methadone detox to begin because I'm on subs and benzos. Even if I wasn't on benzos I'd still have to do detox. I'm weary of this, because I've been on benzos for 13yrs. Although I'm tapering and have no problem with the idea of getting off of them, I fear they'll likely be detectable for weeks to months in a UA, which would put me at risk of being kicked out of a clinic. I know they'll be looking for decreasing values, but my area clinics are known for their extreme protocols. I don't want to go through the hassle if this is the case.
I feel desperate and I'm wondering if these are fair thoughts on the matter or if this is just fruitless and dumb. Frankly, I'm scared. I realize how silly it seems to consider going from 1mg sub to methadone but I think this might be my best option in getting clean in the long run.
Thoughts, opinions, and experiences would be super helpful!
Aside from going back to school, and even that had gotten screwed up for a time, sub has not made me a more productive person, in fact, it's done the opposite. I'm sick of it. I can't stabilize on a dose under 1mg. It took nearly 3mos to realize I was in constant sub-acute withdrawal and unable to stabilize at 0.5mg, so I'm stuck at 1mg. I initially thought the withdrawal was due to my concurrent benzo taper, but I temporarily increased my klonopin dose and realized it was definitely the sub.
I recently spoke to my doctor about this and he recommended methadone, but knows/fears I'll run into problems because of the benzos . He offered comfort meds and wants me increase the benzos when I'm ready to jump. The Kpin has a paradoxical effect in doses higher than 0.25mg, so Im concerned this will just create extra problems. He wants me to get to the jumping point by skipping days without tapering any lower than my current 1mg, but I'm hitting a wall of withdrawal symptoms approx. 30 hrs after my last sub dose. I dose at the same time everyday to keep blood levels as constant as possible.
Overall, suboxone comprises the majority of the 12yrs of my opiate use, as I was on it several times since 2004. It's a blessing to begin with, but I've never had anything less than an awful experience getting off of this even after short stints (6weeks) on. I nearly always wound up back on drugs with a worsening habit within a month of stopping due to the never ending withdrawal that wasn't mitigated by any number of legally prescribed alternatives. (6mg Xanax, Librium ect)
Ten years ago I was on methadone and getting off of it was a cakewalk compared to sub. I've called around to the area clinics and they won't accept me unless I enter an inpatient methadone detox to begin because I'm on subs and benzos. Even if I wasn't on benzos I'd still have to do detox. I'm weary of this, because I've been on benzos for 13yrs. Although I'm tapering and have no problem with the idea of getting off of them, I fear they'll likely be detectable for weeks to months in a UA, which would put me at risk of being kicked out of a clinic. I know they'll be looking for decreasing values, but my area clinics are known for their extreme protocols. I don't want to go through the hassle if this is the case.
I feel desperate and I'm wondering if these are fair thoughts on the matter or if this is just fruitless and dumb. Frankly, I'm scared. I realize how silly it seems to consider going from 1mg sub to methadone but I think this might be my best option in getting clean in the long run.
Thoughts, opinions, and experiences would be super helpful!
