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Love, orgasm, and ecstasy abuse

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liketysplit

Greenlighter
Joined
Jul 31, 2013
Messages
10
Hello Everyone,

I am a woman so in love with a man that I cannot breathe. We have been involved long distance for about a year, and I have just moved to the town he lives in. I have real trouble having an orgasm since abusing ecstasy about a year ago, shortly before meeting him.

I am a 46 y.o. female. A little more than a year ago I went through a meat-grinder of stress at my disaster recovery job. I was having serious trouble coping and no immediate therapeutic options, when my (now ex) husband suggested I take microdoses of ecstasy for the anxiety I was experiencing. I don't know why I went along with this. Making good decisions was not part of my personal life at that time, particularly considering the influence of my ex. So almost every day I would dip a wet finger into a pack of ecstasy powder and then lick my finger. This worked fabulously for a little more than a month. I ended up handling my workload with uber-competence and my life became very beautiful. One of the last days I was doing this, I noticed that my orgasms suddenly weren't coming. They didn't trail off, just one moment I suddenly stopped being able to have them. Then, about 20 days later, my period came about 5 days early and was strange and scant. It's a little more than a year later now, and my period has gotten half-back on track. Similarly the orgasms are kinda happening, occassionally, instead of dependably and wonderfully as before the ecstasy binge. I still have a lot of desire and get really turned on, but then when all that pleasure should be leading to an orgasm, there's nothing. It's like...."hello? is anybody home?"

Does anyone have any suggestions for helping me recover my previous fertile, orgasmic (normal) self? I'm at my wit's end and the lack of orgasms is taking its toll on my relationship with this beautiful man.

I am currently taking Wellbutrin and DHEA (10 mg) to help. I have just ordered some Piracetam, but don't know what dosage to take. I jack off relatively regularly if for no other reason that to keep the pathways open. Sometime I get an orgasm, sometimes not. But these orgasms are nowhere near juicy. Just ho-hum.

I am so full of regret and I'm a bit lost without my orgasms and the ability to build a sexual connection with this man.

Thanks for being there bluelight.
 
liketysplit said:
... my (now ex) husband suggested I take microdoses of ecstasy for the anxiety I was experiencing.
...
So almost every day I would dip a wet finger into a pack of ecstasy powder and then lick my finger.

...
Click to expand...

is that a microdose ?

hopefully someone here can relay their own experiences or scientific mechanism of action that could possibly cause this.

It could also be mental anxiety where you feel you have "damaged yourself" and are nervous about your orgasms, as well as anxiety to perform and feel good with your new partner.
 
I dont know a ton about the more detailed answer to why you may be having problems but its important to recognize that all emotions manifest themselves physically. I think your tension/anxiety about the issue is contributing to it but I recognize that you are in a cycle of anxiety because you cant orgasm like before.

I think a diet modification could help you restore some of the lost energy in your body. do you follow a particular diet such as veganism or vegetarianism? I am not suggesting those are answers but maybe you can provide me with some info and I can try to help.

I know that Maca Root powder sold by Navitas makes my girlfriend have orgasms very easily. There is also a product I used called "via-growth IV" that helped my girlfriend feel turned on when birth control really dampens her sexual energy.

I think you just need to work on resetting some things in your body and this is absolutely NOT permanent.
 
how much mdma were you taking? if you take mdma day after day by day three your a mess. are you sure it wasn't meth cos speed WILL work everyday and mdma will not or it will but you will go a bit crazy during this period with lots of emotional instability/huge impulse control or anger issues
 
At 46 the irregular periods and orgasms could be the start of the menopause.
 
I would recommend eating clean (no soda, coffee, sugar, processed/boxed/canned/fast food), lots of water and exercising vigorously daily for a month. This will fix most of what damage ecstasy can do under your circumstances. Piracetam may help, or it may trigger anxiety. Are you having any other symptoms, like anxiety, brain zaps/flashes, dysphoria, or lethargy?

Piracetam doses are considered to be around the 800mg mark. It may not work for you at all, as is the case with some people. I find it best to supplement with choline as well, particularly if you are a vegetarian. If you find yourself feeling drained or depressed the day after using piracetam, that is the fix. If it does work for you, you will find your days become brighter, you are more focused, energetic and able to handle a bit more stress. I find piracetam also improves appreciation for music. It takes some time for it to build in your system for maximum results.
 
I would start looking at the Wellbutrin. Unlike some ssri's like prozac, it has a common side effect of increasing sexual desire, but it is often used to treat premature ejaculation in men so to me it would not be impossible that it is this that is preventing you from orgasm. In other words its revving you up but won't allow to to slip into first gear
 
Just sticking your finger in a bag, this could be an absolutely varying unmeasured dos, this could have been a significant amount every day. I'm not trying to scare you as you've done we'll to not do it for a year, but the brain is amazing at recovery over time (in my own experience).

After a year you can notice that they are coming back, imagine how good it will be after another year.

Don't lose hope and keep a positive attitude, that's the best way to be on the path to recovery.
 
I would think so too, except that the symptoms started suddenly and immediately upon ecstasy use.
 
Animal Mother said:
Straight up. How has nobody else brought this up?
Click to expand...

The problems started immediately upon the ecstasy use, and have been progressing in a (slowly) improving direction instead of an irregular direction. I just want to do everything I can do to get back.
 
dimensiontripping said:
I know that Maca Root powder sold by Navitas makes my girlfriend have orgasms very easily. There is also a product I used called "via-growth IV" that helped my girlfriend feel turned on when birth control really dampens her sexual energy.

I think you just need to work on resetting some things in your body and this is absolutely NOT permanent.
Click to expand...

This sounds like great advice and the direction I'd like to head in. Thanks.
 
NJ5227 said:
I would recommend eating clean (no soda, coffee, sugar, processed/boxed/canned/fast food), lots of water and exercising vigorously daily for a month. This will fix most of what damage ecstasy can do under your circumstances. Piracetam may help, or it may trigger anxiety. Are you having any other symptoms, like anxiety, brain zaps/flashes, dysphoria, or lethargy?

Piracetam doses are considered to be around the 800mg mark. It may not work for you at all, as is the case with some people. I find it best to supplement with choline as well, particularly if you are a vegetarian. If you find yourself feeling drained or depressed the day after using piracetam, that is the fix. If it does work for you, you will find your days become brighter, you are more focused, energetic and able to handle a bit more stress. I find piracetam also improves appreciation for music. It takes some time for it to build in your system for maximum results.
Click to expand...

No, no brain zaps or anxiety. Just the sexual side effects. Being on the small doses of x for that time period was so wonderful and mild. But then.....my sex life collapsed.
 
Thank you everybody! I feel so much more empowered to improve my life and find my sexual balance!
 
liketysplit said:
No, no brain zaps or anxiety. Just the sexual side effects. Being on the small doses of x for that time period was so wonderful and mild. But then.....my sex life collapsed.
Click to expand...

again it doesn't sound like mdma cos even low dose use over a prolonged period would cause big problems with anxiety/brain zapps

having taken a lot of mdma over the years i can tell you that daily low doses would make a mess out of your mind
 
badandwicked said:
At 46 the irregular periods and orgasms could be the start of the menopause.
Click to expand...

this coupled with an mdma binge just spells disaster for females and hormones. especially in your later years.

divorce brings with it its own set of personal problems. please be patient with yourself and allow your body and mind time to recuperate.

its going to hurt in the interim, but benefit you in the long run.

...kytnism...:|
 
I upped my dosage of Wellbutrin and that has helped. So there's a clue. Unfortunately the upped dosage has made me act more angry and aggressive than I would like to be, and less empathetic. Also, my boyfriend has taken a big step back since the last tried and failed orgasm/ sex attempt. Sigh. I wish I could find a man as sensitive and understanding as ya'll at Bluelight.

I'm gonna try maca starting tomorrow. And exercising. Will report back. I'm tabling the piracitam for now.
 
liketysplit said:
I upped my dosage of Wellbutrin and that has helped. So there's a clue. Unfortunately the upped dosage has made me act more angry and aggressive than I would like to be, and less empathetic. Also, my boyfriend has taken a big step back since the last tried and failed orgasm/ sex attempt. Sigh. I wish I could find a man as sensitive and understanding as ya'll at Bluelight.

I'm gonna try maca starting tomorrow. And exercising. Will report back. I'm tabling the piracitam for now.
Click to expand...

i think that's all solid moves in the right direction. You might also try abstaining from masturbation and sex for a period longer than you usually do. I think you might be mentally overly focused on this and perpetuating the problem. Give yourself some time to reset.
 
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