Beepbeep23
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Jul 15, 2022
- Messages
- 8
Feel free to move this if it doesn't fit here, or delete if it is triggering. (Did my best to make it non triggering)
I'm feeling melancholic about the people I've lost, and the lack of empathy people have towards them. Feel free to talk about those you've lost (not just in death, but to prison or otherwise).
The one that's really sticking in my head is two drug dealers I knew in high school.
Jack was a good dude. Homeless and a pill addict who sold extras in order to afford food. He was smart, and never told me anything beyond, "I sell drugs." He did his best in school, and was a good friend. I didn't say anything to the cops when they pulled me aside from class, I hope you know that. I never saw you again after they questioned me. Best case scenario, you ran and are living a good life. Or, you went to juvie and are living a good life. I really hope you are.
Nicky was... Sad. You were so sucked in to your addiction, you didn't see any way out. You sold to fund it, and you hated that you did. You were convinced you were horrible, a waste of space. You weren't. You cared so much about everyone, even about an anti social bastard like me. Last time I saw you, you were on something and told me you were going to prison. You told me you wanted to die. I hope, above the odds, that you got out early and got clean. If you didn't, that's okay too. As long as you are living a good life. But... I know in my heart, you didn't. We both know what the first thing you were going to do was, even if you didn't say it. I hope you found peace.
I got out with just a bad cigarette habit. Most people didn't. Not because I'm better, or because they were bad. I got lucky. And if you can look at these two young men and say thay deserved it, or that they made their choices, fuck you. There were so many people I couldn't save, that deserved better, better than shits calling them junkies and crackheads. I miss you all, and if you're alive, I'm proud of you. If you aren't, know that I loved you. You were loved.
I'm feeling melancholic about the people I've lost, and the lack of empathy people have towards them. Feel free to talk about those you've lost (not just in death, but to prison or otherwise).
The one that's really sticking in my head is two drug dealers I knew in high school.
Jack was a good dude. Homeless and a pill addict who sold extras in order to afford food. He was smart, and never told me anything beyond, "I sell drugs." He did his best in school, and was a good friend. I didn't say anything to the cops when they pulled me aside from class, I hope you know that. I never saw you again after they questioned me. Best case scenario, you ran and are living a good life. Or, you went to juvie and are living a good life. I really hope you are.
Nicky was... Sad. You were so sucked in to your addiction, you didn't see any way out. You sold to fund it, and you hated that you did. You were convinced you were horrible, a waste of space. You weren't. You cared so much about everyone, even about an anti social bastard like me. Last time I saw you, you were on something and told me you were going to prison. You told me you wanted to die. I hope, above the odds, that you got out early and got clean. If you didn't, that's okay too. As long as you are living a good life. But... I know in my heart, you didn't. We both know what the first thing you were going to do was, even if you didn't say it. I hope you found peace.
I got out with just a bad cigarette habit. Most people didn't. Not because I'm better, or because they were bad. I got lucky. And if you can look at these two young men and say thay deserved it, or that they made their choices, fuck you. There were so many people I couldn't save, that deserved better, better than shits calling them junkies and crackheads. I miss you all, and if you're alive, I'm proud of you. If you aren't, know that I loved you. You were loved.
