Looking for reassurance/questions

[db1995]

Hello everyone,

I am 6 almost 7 months deep into my LTC and I'm looking for reassurance that I will get better. I am currently just dealing with depressive thoughts. I think thoughts like "will I ever recover?" and "Did I cause permanent damage?"


Although I have improved, for some reason I still have doubts that I am getting better at all. I know its contradictory but its how I feel which is weird.

Is recovery just accepting whats happening to me? Or am I one day going to actually feel like my old, pre 3 day binge self? I don't know whether to hold onto hope that I will be the same, or that I should just accept that I'm going to live with depressive thoughts and the feeling that I am a different person.

What I'm doing to get better is
- I lift weights, run, and use a sauna at the very least 3 days a week
-I take fish oil twice a day
- Meditate for 10 minutes, 2 sessions each day
-Eat a lot of fruits and just a healthier diet in general
-I take Lion's Mane Mushroom because I was having memory/concentration problems
-I smoke CBD because I hear its good for the brain


I just want to be what I was before I binged 3 days, will this ever happen?


Also, debating on trying magic mushrooms to cure my depression? thoughts on this?

 

[Cotcha Yankinov]

If the main problem you're having is depression, then you can always look to treat your problems based on the symptoms. In other words, there are numerous anti-depressant therapies, if you are depressed, then you could certainly talk to a doctor about these treatments. I would keep up the cardio and meditation for sure, but do know that 6-7 months on is still early.

You will recover, but you must unfortunately give it more time. Try not to think too much in the mean time, I think some people get in trouble with their inner monologue. Mindfulness meditation applied throughout the day can really help with that, but it can take time to learn.

 

[PSYK123]

Hey, maybe go see a doctor about this. You don't have to go through this on your own. Keep talking to people and try not to think a lot about the depression as that wears you down as well.

Research about Mushrooms as they can be unforgiving so if you do decide to use this as treatment please be careful about how much you take and where you are.

You'll get through this.
Good luck.

 

[db1995]

Cotcha, do you have any tips for mindfulness meditation? I've been practicing for about as long as the LTC has been going on, but to be honest I don't know if I am meditating the right way. I try my best to observe breaths/thoughts and thats about it.


Going to start seeing psychologist soon just to talk, I refuse to go on antidepressants. I tried remeron and I felt like it was making me worse so I quit completely.


Also, thanks for the replies, they always make me feel better. I feel like this LTC is finally almost over.

 

[Cotcha Yankinov]

Mindfulness is certainly a long term investment. Some people notice acute benefits after a 15 minute session, and notice that if they apply mindfulness with some skill throughout the day that there are benefits, but other benefits may simply take longer. There can be a delayed fuse, and if you have been practicing mindfulness this whole time, mindfulness could have played (for all we know) a giant role in your recovery thus far.

Some people have luck extending their bodily awareness to the whole body, posture, hands, not necessarily just the breath. Part of the trick is getting better and better at realizing that you've been lost in thought, especially when it comes to daily life. Concentrated sessions are still great though.

Apps like Headspace and also 10% Happier can really help.

CY