AJAr
Ex-Bluelighter
- Joined
- Aug 12, 2022
- Messages
- 50
IDK if there exists a butane lighter out there that doesn't suck after about 2-4 months?
Torch-style flame, preferably, but I guess either way would be good to find... long as it doesn't have that limp-dick empty-Bic energy if you catch my drift (hardly catch my own drift most of the time). Getting real sick of buying these absolute POS lighters that fail me completely, like those classic colored torches you get from bodegas all the way up to a $76 Blazer brand imported lighter. Thing basically deteriorated with not even that much use, and eventually scared the hell out of me when I tried last to ignite it and it blew up with flames bursting out of the sides. No casualties, but it was frightening to say the least.
"Large Marge sent me."
— Public Masturbator
That said, my husband and I do have our own little "ol' faithful," if you will—she goes by the name "Large Marge," paying homage to Pee-wee's Big Adventure before he yanked it in that movie theater IRL, where this scary-ass trucker lady's face does some viewer-discretion-advised shit that I think was also done in Beetlejuice—and was assigned Sondiko Butane Torch S400 at birth/mfg.
What's that? "Ok cool, so just use Large Marge," you say? Great minds think alike! Because yes: this lighter sparks every time without fail. And yes: Large Marge is a bad bitch. But while she is indeed a bad bitch who never lost her spark, she also has a tendency to take a perfectly round and good-enough cheap-glass-ass pookie and morph it into some shit out of Dalí's famous The Disintegration of the Persistence of Memory that he for sure did on ketamine. Literally makes these oil burners look like deflated tetherballs—kind of specific but the best I got—and then they randomly just get holes in them. Might be a skill issue, idk. Probably a skill issue.
"Alright, so let's talk alternatives."
— Public Masturbator
Alright, so let's talk alternatives. That's what I'm ultimately aiming for with this visit to the forum, after all, ahead of crawling back into my cave for another half-year pretending to be away on Discord. I found something on Amazon that was simultaneously one of those headache-manufacturing electric BZZZEEEEEEEEZZEEEEEEEZEE-style lighters, but it used that mechanism to ignite the butane. But it looked pretty stupid overall, had a fucking screen on it and everything for some reason. All I want is a lighter whose flint doesn't blow itself after a few months. Anyone happy with their lighters?
I need something that's not obscenely large, like Large Marge e.g. is too big. Might do the stupid fucking BZZZEEEEEEEEZZEEEEEEEZEE lighter (btw, that's me trying to type out a high-frequency sound... If you think it's cooked or misses the mark, I dare you to do better because you won't). Alright, thanks for the help. Normal post from a normal guy.
Torch-style flame, preferably, but I guess either way would be good to find... long as it doesn't have that limp-dick empty-Bic energy if you catch my drift (hardly catch my own drift most of the time). Getting real sick of buying these absolute POS lighters that fail me completely, like those classic colored torches you get from bodegas all the way up to a $76 Blazer brand imported lighter. Thing basically deteriorated with not even that much use, and eventually scared the hell out of me when I tried last to ignite it and it blew up with flames bursting out of the sides. No casualties, but it was frightening to say the least.
— Public Masturbator
What's that? "Ok cool, so just use Large Marge," you say? Great minds think alike! Because yes: this lighter sparks every time without fail. And yes: Large Marge is a bad bitch. But while she is indeed a bad bitch who never lost her spark, she also has a tendency to take a perfectly round and good-enough cheap-glass-ass pookie and morph it into some shit out of Dalí's famous The Disintegration of the Persistence of Memory that he for sure did on ketamine. Literally makes these oil burners look like deflated tetherballs—kind of specific but the best I got—and then they randomly just get holes in them. Might be a skill issue, idk. Probably a skill issue.
"Alright, so let's talk alternatives."
— Public Masturbator
Alright, so let's talk alternatives. That's what I'm ultimately aiming for with this visit to the forum, after all, ahead of crawling back into my cave for another half-year pretending to be away on Discord. I found something on Amazon that was simultaneously one of those headache-manufacturing electric BZZZEEEEEEEEZZEEEEEEEZEE-style lighters, but it used that mechanism to ignite the butane. But it looked pretty stupid overall, had a fucking screen on it and everything for some reason. All I want is a lighter whose flint doesn't blow itself after a few months. Anyone happy with their lighters?
I need something that's not obscenely large, like Large Marge e.g. is too big. Might do the stupid fucking BZZZEEEEEEEEZZEEEEEEEZEE lighter (btw, that's me trying to type out a high-frequency sound... If you think it's cooked or misses the mark, I dare you to do better because you won't). Alright, thanks for the help. Normal post from a normal guy.
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best of luck to you two