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  • BDD Moderators: Keif’ Richards | negrogesic

Long term chronic pain opiate user

C

Crack'r

Bluelighter
Joined
May 31, 2016
Messages
162
I have had chronic abdominal pain due to a rare disease and been on opiates for going on 10 years. I have been on oxycontin and dilaudid and started crushing the oxy and eventually plugging everything because at one point my tolerance was building and that was only way I could get pain relief. After so long that was only way anything would work anymore which I now know was a mistake for long term pain control.

I don't like how it makes me feel and think it has lead to some depression and just a general brain chemistry imbalance. I have been taking around 400 mg a day of essentially instant release meds that also acts like a much higher oral dose. I usually broke it up to 4x a day but some days needed to take more often.

I tapered and stopped for 2.5 weeks about 2 years ago but I couldn't handle the pain and started again and quickly escalated back to where I was. I now have a baby and want free. I started tapering from 120 mg and was able to drop much quicker than ever before and was down to 30 mg at a time in a week. I stayed there for about a week and dropped down to one 4 mg dilaudid at a time though I'm having to take it more often and probably 7-8x a day. My stomach pain seems a lot better for some reason and I only notice it occasionally which has probably helped a lot.

I take care of my daughter all day when my wife is at work. She is off for 4 days starting tomorrow and I was going to stop so she can take care of baby. But I woke up in withdrawals which doesn't normally happen and I'm still on nearly 40 mg of dilaudid a day which isn't insignificant. I'm trying to decide if I should just do it or if I should wait and try to continue to take less?

Last time I had a lot of ativan and tried to sleep thru as much as possible. But I don't have much this time though I will get more in 2 weeks. Are there any other things that can help? I probably can't get any Rx very easily though. I just want to try getting off them and see if I can get into some type of better headspace and not need to be waiting to take more drugs every couple hours.

I haven't told my Dr because I got a new one that is terrible and worried if I still have pain he wouldn't give me pain meds ever again. I've also looked into detox clinics but none will take me because of my health problems that I have found. They all require normal blood tests which I'm far from having.

Just looking for any advice or suggestions and trying to psych myself up for hell tomorrow.

Thanks for reading and sorry it's so long. I will try to throw up an abbreviated summary in a little bit after I feed my daughter.
 
Can you use cannabis? It's an excellent pain reliever and will also help with the GI difficulties of giving up opioids. As well as the nausea I assume is associated with your pain.
 
I'm about to do the same I'm scared as hell and I have all the help I need . Benzos , weed (or CBD in any form is better) gabapentin , ibuprofen, Gatorade , loperamide , and perhaps some subuxone but that'll just stretch things out longer. In the end it's all mental cause even with all the non opiate pills to help me I still fail constantly cause it's mental in the end no matter what . All the relief I want and still breaks my will mentally I'd say no matter how much comfort medicine you have to help detox it's still 75% mental
 
Thanks

I do have some weed but I don't like it like I did in my younger years. With all my health problems it gives me a lot of negative things to think about and it's usually not fun. But I'm sure I will be using it occasionally.

Last time I stopped I basically tried to sleep as much as possible. Between ativan, benadryl, and weed I was able to sleep a good amount. I have the same things plus immodium and baclophen which I've heard can help. It sucked last time but I stayed fairly medicated, drank lots of fluid, slept a lot, and took some hot soaks in epsom salt baths. I don't remember how far I tapered last time but I think it was a little higher than now.

I could drag it out another week or two and taper even more but after ten years I think it's going to suck no matter what. I think I'm just going to do it because I want to get it over with and start the healing process. Once the worst is past I'm going to start walking and riding my bike because exercise seemed to help. Helps your legs, gives you something to do, wears you out, and also releases natural feel good chemicals if you go hard or long enough.

I don't know if things start getting real bad if taking like half a dilaudid could help ease things or if that just drags it out longer? Guess I will collect all my meds and give them to my wife to hide and I will wake up and smoke myself silly and watch TV and movies and then start self medicating once things start getting bad to deal with symptoms and to try and go to sleep.

I guess lots of y'all have experience with this but this will only be my second time in almost ten years where I've taken them every single day except for the 17 days I stopped last time.

I have a ton of meds saved up and will be continuing to get my rx just in case I can't deal with pain but so far it hasn't been very bad. I just don't want to be tempted to take them again. I guess I could have my wife give me a dilaudid here and there if pain gets real bad. I'm also not sure if my Dr ever tests to see if I'm positive for opiates to make sure I'm taking them? Not sure if they can without telling you? Might take one before my Dr appointments? Hard to turn down almost 200 60 mg oxy and 4 mg dilaudid every month even if I don't want to take them with any frequency. Will just have to make sure if I do take something it doesn't start any intense cravings.

Anyways, just nervous and want to get it over with but also wouldn't mind tapering off a bit more. I don't hardly have any friends anymore since I'm essentially disabled and don't do anything social so I don't really have anyone to talk to. So I apologize for the rambling.

The great thing is that no matter how hard something is, if you want it bad enough and are willing to give it your all, there is very little that can't be done. If you don't want something there is no reason to even try because you will likely fail unless it's something very easy. But once you make up your mind, pain of withdrawals is just a temporary condition that will soon fade.

I'm ready.

Good luck to everyone else going thru the same thing. Want it bad enough and it will just be a temporary thing that will soon pass and be forgotten. The most difficult and important part is changing your lifestyle so you're no longer in situations or around people that will tempt you. It's far too easy to rationalize just one time. Unless that's what you want.

Anyways, I'm still rambling. Be safe everyone.
 
If youre in chronic pain, why stop taking your meds? ..Even if you want to, why not discuss a taper plan with your doctor?


- Hopeless
 
It will not be easy coming off those doses of those meds but you seem very determined and that is crucial to long term success. My suggestion would be prep as much as you can to be as physically comfortable as you can with everything focused on convenience and a good support system and plenty of positive things to help distract you and get you through the toughest moments. And at some point you will need to let your doctor know that you at least cut back because if you aren't taking them as prescribed as they are expecting and your labs/exams don't reflect that and you are caught being dishonest then it appears like you have other motives for filling the prescriptions. Considering your possible need for PM in the long run you don't want to jeopardize your relationship with them ya know. Congrats on making the tough decision to battle for a med free life. Stay strong and keep believing in yourself and your body's ability to heal. PM me any time if you need to. Sending warm thoughts for a rapid and easy detox!
 
Thanks everyone.

I know I wrote a lot and it may have gotten lost. I have tapered down to one dilaudid at a time 7-8 times a day but still plugged since oral BA is so low. It's amazing that sticking something up your ass can eventually become normal.

But even though I'm down to 4 mg from 120 mg I think it's still a significant amount. Absolutely no way I would try to stop cold turkey from what I was taking. Can't imagine what some of y'all go thru with a big IV H habit that end up in trouble and not able to use. That just about makes me cry. Which I'm sure opiate users know what I mean. I will admit that the first time I had pain meds I was writhing in pain and had 1 mg dilaudid pushed instantly into a port. And I instantly knew why anyone would do it even though it was like I couldn't breath for 10 seconds because my muscles tightened so much. But it has been many years since I've had any euphoria. I have a compromised immune system and if it weren't for that I probably would have started shooting instead of plugging. That and my veins are already o.k. bad shape from IVs at Dr and I need them for bimonthly treatment.

Anyways. Hasn't even been 8 hours and it already sucks. But I'm going to try to stay with it. If I'm not able I will at least go as long as possible and take minimal amounts but I really don't want to prolong anything and just get it over. My wife is a nurse but she just got off 4 12s at work and will be sleeping a while.

Thanks for the positive vibes.
 
I might have to make a thread about defeating OP oxycontin. Because as far as I can tell I've done it pretty well. I've even taken 120 mg of dilaudid IR pills and it does the same thing as the oxy. Or the oxy does the same thing as the dilaudid. It's isn't hard and only takes a few minutes. I had the OC before the OP and they might have come on slightly faster and a hair stronger but the difference is not much. Though you can't snort it and will only be able to take orally or by plugging because it still turns slimy.

I will also say that if you need pain relief, don't try to use recreationally or to feel good. Because you can't have both and things will quickly spiral out of control. And if your pain meds aren't working well enough, don't try to take a different way from how they are prescribed and tell your Dr you are in pain and let them adjust until you are comfortable. Just be honest, give things a try, and if still in pain let them know. Once you start chasing a buzz or altering ROA your pain control will suck and your tolerance will sky rocket.
 
Cosmic

I'm not in a cannabis med state and CBD oil isn't available. Though I guess I might have been able to order from the internet though I probably would have ordered kratom if I was going to wait. I will just smoke the strong stuff and deal with it. I think I'm more of a sativa person when it comes to weed. Which isn't very common anymore with all the intense breeding going on. And there isn't much bag appeal to a pure sativa.

Sorry I'm writing so much. Helps me keep my mind off things. And smells are super strong and almost nauseating. Don't remember that from last time...
 
When things really suck by 12 hours, you know it's really going to be terrible at 48-72. Hopefully I can sleep thru most of that with enough help.

It's like my body is waking up from a decade long nap.
 
Well so far 12-18 was probably the worst and maybe even longer but I slept the next 7 hours from ativan and then benadryl. I was even able to sleep last night. It's not comfortable by any means but it's tolerable.
 
I assume an upper like adderol would probably not be a great thing to take during withdrawls? Getting old being tired and not wanting to do anything. Almost seems like muscles wouldn't hurt as bad if I could get out and do some stuff.
 
Stims can have minor pain killing effects and even synergize well with pain killers, so you'll likely be fine. I'd recommend sticking to coffee or even energy drinks, however, if you need the boost. If you are tired now and take a drug to wake up, you'll be doubly tired tomorrow. Also, benedryl and benzos will make you more tired, so maybe go lighter on those? They are even more addictive and dangerous than the opioids you are trying to get off. That said, Stims shouldn't mess with the opiate withdrawals, so it's up to you.

Hope this helps.
 
Hello crack'r. Welcome to Bluelight. You shouldn't have to defeat pills to make them work better. This goes for all of you. There are exceptions to a lot of things, but especially if, like in your case, if the dose is not right, it's time to have a sit down with your doctor and tell him what's going on. I must warn everyone. Do not get emotionally attached to your pain pills. That is a major factor in tapering off them. Here are two answers. If you are not receiving proper pain relief, you need to see your doctor and explain the situation. IMO, instant release pills(at least oxycodone based or less) suck for long term pain relief. I see a pain management doctor. If your pain is longer then a few days or month, you need extended release. The medicine that worked for me was Opana ER. I was on 10mg Opana ER twice a day. I was pain free for 12 full hours. It was smooth as silk. IMO, it pisses on Oxycodone. Here is the other point. If you, for whatever reason have to taper down off your meds, let your doctor help you. Any dose of opiates/opioids is serious. Your dosage is mega serious. IMO, you let your doctor know anything. It's to hard, etc. If you are taking street pills to boost your dose, bite the bulit and get proper help. If you can not, there are many Bluelighters willing to help. Use the search engine and you will find opiate/opioid withdrawal threads on the site. Any questions, you can PM me, or any moderator for help. If I missed the point somewhere,please let me know, so I can fix it.

Gyrospeck made a good point about stimulants. I take amphetamines with my pain medication(prescribed dosage) and they work excellent with the pain medication. Caffeine also can boost the effects of pain medication. This is all subjective. What works for me, may not work for you. Also, if you are having a rough time coming off pain medication, stimulants may exaserbate withdrawal issues. Unless a doctor is treating you, downers of any kind, including tranquil ers , can easily kill you. Don't take them. Cosmic Trigger made an excellent point. If they haven't scheduled it yet, study's show that CBD oil, can relieve pain( to a point) anxiety and even boost your immune system. Too many great things to list, but definately worth a try.
 
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get your hands on suboxone do a rapid 5 day taper. 8mg, 6mg,6mg,4mg,2mg next day nothing by far the easiest way to kick and ive had just as bad if not worse opiate habbit 50% of it is mental, like if you have been to a rehab you know you cant use so it makes it easier. or if you decide cold turkey remember its only 3-5 days of hell its temporary
 
Thanks for the taking the time to respond. At this point I'm 38 hours in and not going to stop now. Whether it's the other things I'm taking or not, the worst part seemed like the 12-17ish hour mark. The last 20 hours haven't seemed that bad and about the same during that time. Though I am getting a little nauseous. If a low dose of ativan doesn't help I might take minimal Dramamine and see if it helps.

I'm only taking ativan and benadryl to try to get some sleep thru the worst parts. I asked about a stimulant like adderol because it seemed to provide some pain relief. Or at least need pain meds less often. I was also hoping it might get me up and do something which could help take my mind off everything. I would not mix it with ativan and benadryl on purpose.

For some reason my pain seems basically gone now. Last time I stopped a couple years ago I started again after 17 days off because I couldn't handle pain. So I'm hopeful I will stay off if pain for some reason got better. I did notice it was as frequent but I still had to take pain meds due to my dependence. I will give my pain meds to wife and if pain comes back I will try to only take minimal amounts once a week during worst times. I really want to get off and see if I can get back to some normal. I hate the fact I'm constantly taking them and i bark at loved ones when that isn't me. I now have a daughter that is more important than any of this.

My Dr works with cancer patients and terminal patients all the time. While they don't really like the levels I was on, they have never questioned it as they often have seen me in substantial pain. But hopefully that has changed or become much less often.

I'm probably forgetting some thing. But thank you. It helps when no one else quite understands.
 
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getRocked said:
get your hands on suboxone do a rapid 5 day taper. 8mg, 6mg,6mg,4mg,2mg next day nothing by far the easiest way to kick and ive had just as bad if not worse opiate habbit 50% of it is mental, like if you have been to a rehab you know you cant use so it makes it easier. or if you decide cold turkey remember its only 3-5 days of hell its temporary
Click to expand...

If you do a rst, there's no need to start at 8mg. 2mg increments are big steps to take. Normally you want to start inbetween 1-2mg, and reduce in increments of 250mcg. But to each their own I suppose.


- SS373dOH Soul
 
The pain of withdrawal is only temporary. I agree and why I just went for it. The other pain is all I'm worried about but for the most part it seems gone. I don't know what's changed because last time I stopped it was very much still there. I get a twinge of it occasionally but not nearly like it was.

I've actually wondered if the pain might have been caused by the pain meds? When my pain started I was in the hospital and only a couple things changed to my knowledge. I started getting pain meds consistently. I started getting a fairly gross oral med derived from some type of mushroom or fungus that if levels get high enough start to feel a hot sensation, especially in hands and feet. Called cyclosporin which I'm currently on but have stopped for long periods and still had pain. I also got a different type of immuno suppressive treatment for the first time. This should be a fairly short acting thing and effects stop within a week or two. I have had every test done under the sun trying to determine the source or what's happening. I have been given at least a dozen drugs to try and give relief and opiates were the only thing that came close. But I was still on the opiates when I tried everything because they were what worked right off the bat.

It would be a cruel circle of events if my stomach pain was caused by opiates so as soon as it hurt I would take more which in turn provided more pain. For some reason when I lay down at night and slow down it gets better and I'm at least able to sleep thru the night. And my disease has a lot of strange things that happen at night during sleep. When I stopped for 17 days the pain didn't get better and my disease has abdominal pain associated with it so that's what it's always assumed to be the cause. But it normally only happens when people have a crisis and I never have to my knowledge.

Anyways, I know that isn't about drugs. My stomach is hurting a little bit nothing terrible. The WD don't seem to terrible today but still some pretty uncomfortable times. It's been about 48 hours so hopefully I'm on the way down but will see what tonight and tomorrow bring. It's hard to believe 12-24 hours would be the worst part.

Anyways, thanks for ask that have commented. It at least gives me the chance to vent a little since I don't really have any one I can talk to, especially that would understand any of it.

Have a good one and I hope everyone is being safe on this Friday night.
 
Oh, and I now know I shouldn't have defeated the pain pills. I know that looking back but I was trying to get relief and got too far in and couldn't turn around it seemed though I guess I could have if I really wanted to. Just stunk knowing how much better relief they could provide doing it my way. I wasn't getting euphoria as they stopped probably after 2 years of the ten. But knocking out your pain is pretty darn euphoric even if your not high at the same time.
 
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