Greetings Bluelighters!
This will be my very first post here on bluelight yet I have scrolled your forums for many years when seeking information.
As a harm reduction enthusiast, psychonaut, and recovering polysubstance addict, Id like to thank you all for your contributions, rest assured you have saved many lives, and allowed others to grow spiritually, and personally, through chemical exploration.
A little about my chemical history-
I've always had a certain attraction to chemicals, after years of intense psychotherapy and a degree in addition science I've learned that through chemicals I always sought the connection I never received at home. I never met my father, my mother was schizophrenic, my brother was murdered at a young age (drug related) chemicals became my best friend, my confidant, and unfortunately, became my medicine and my escape.
I founded a very successful career as a drug dealer, DJ, event promoter, and club owner, all through my party escapades.
I had some of the best times of my life, lived the life of a rock star, but as they say; all good things come to an end.
This rings so true to the life of an addict!
Methamphetamine destroyed me, heroin nearly killed me. The combination stole all I loved, all I owned, and consumed my soul, making me a slave to their chemical appeal.
I spent years searching for a solution. Countless treatments, recovery attempts, and suicide attempts, until....
IBOGAINE....
ibogaine saved my life and opened a door to change.
I have since spent the last 2 years of my life researching the therapeutic qualities of plant medicine and advocating alternative treatment options through entheogens.
Which brings me to my most recent experience which I hope some of you Bluelighters may relate with and can offer me some insight.
THE MOST PROFOUND PSYCHEDELIC EXPERIENCE OF MY LIFE!!!
Yes, that's correct, I have been using psychedelics for over 20 years and this trumped them all, more than ibogaine, more than Ketamine, and even more than the last 2 years of ayahuasca.
Now I've learned from past experience to never combine other substances with ayahuasca, so a quick fact check shown that this particular substance (3-MEO-PCP) seemed to be of low risk in combination. Still I waited aproxamitly 12-15 hrs assuming the substances half life had expired.
Boy was I wrong!
I was facilitating a ceremony for two friends both new to ayahuasca so I not only drank less than them but did a relatively small dose in general.
Not expecting much of an effect I still spoke my intention to mother earth and asked for insight, healing, and her blessings.
OK, I will share with you my biggest personal struggle as it is pivitol to this experience.
My intent was this-
To deal with my sexuality and how I perceive women.
Methamphetamine has destroyed my sex life. After meth nothing comes close, I have trouble with intimacy and performing without drugs. I know this is why many amphetamine addicts relapse as this topic is rarely covered in traditional treatment settings for straight men.
I asked the plant for insight and this is what she did...
Saturday morning T-28hrs
Injested a small dose <10mg IM of 3-meo-pcp and continued to redose small microdoses throughout the day and into the evening.
T-4hrs begin preparing the brew after only 3-4 hrs of sleep from the night prior.
At aproxamitly 130 pm I consumed 2.5g Syrian Rue and. 25g Syrian Rue HCL extract to activate the DMT containing plant.
30 minutes later consumed the brew consisting of only 5grams Brazilian Mimosa HostilisRoot Bark
T+00
T+10mins started feeling the effects
T+15mins time to purge
T+30mins I was transported into another world, baffled as to why I was feeling such strong effects. Normally I would start to panic at this point, but for some reason I was completely calm. I was concerned about my friends, were they experiencing the same effect? The plant assured me that this was my time, my healing, which kept me calm.
I was presented with the most extreme 3- dimensional hallucinations of my life. I was surrounded by alien beings, congratulating me for such an achievement. One after another they presented themselves and assuring me I was safe, and oh so very happy to see me.
Terrence McKenna often speaks of these alien beings which I and many others speak of when describing DMT. These were unlike anything DMT has provided in the past, this was so very real. They resembled humans in shape but their bodies were longer and had multiple appendages.
This went on for what seemed like 20 minutes or so, than the work begin.
T+45 mins
The aliens begin to work on my body.
I felt like a car receiving service. They would focus their energy on different areas of my body, while I remained still and let them do their work.
Visions of pornography raced through my head. Women being raped, tortured, beat, assaulted... These were the most disturbing hallucinations I have ever witnessed. I wanted to cry. Feelings of empathy filled my being. The plant wanted me to feel these women's pain.
Just when I thought I could take it no longer, visions of death, drugs, jailcells, weapons, and other results of poor life choices raced through my mind.
This lasted for aproxamitly 2hrs.
By than my friends had recovered But I was still very much under the influence of her spell.
By T+4hrs I was back to baseline.
In conclusion, this was the most profound and life altering experience ever. The visions I seen will forever be burnt into my consciousness.
I often tell people that the plant gives you what you need. This was exactly what I needed! The message was so straightforward - you CAN change, and there is no need to ever go back.
I have literally swept my home today of pornography of any kind. I have quit smoking. I threw out all paraphernalia (even for marijuana) never have I been effected in such a profound way from this medicine.
I really hope this sticks, and am looking for some advice on what to do next.
If anyone have any experience mixing disociatives with ayahuasca please let me know as I really want to know if this is
1) safe
2) can be replicated
As this sort of healing could benefit so many.
Thank you science and thank you mother nature. It might have been pure coincidence that I stumbled across this concoction, it may have been some power greater then myself, one things for sure, it's something I will never forget and for that I will always be -
GRATEFUL....
Namaste~
This will be my very first post here on bluelight yet I have scrolled your forums for many years when seeking information.
As a harm reduction enthusiast, psychonaut, and recovering polysubstance addict, Id like to thank you all for your contributions, rest assured you have saved many lives, and allowed others to grow spiritually, and personally, through chemical exploration.
A little about my chemical history-
I've always had a certain attraction to chemicals, after years of intense psychotherapy and a degree in addition science I've learned that through chemicals I always sought the connection I never received at home. I never met my father, my mother was schizophrenic, my brother was murdered at a young age (drug related) chemicals became my best friend, my confidant, and unfortunately, became my medicine and my escape.
I founded a very successful career as a drug dealer, DJ, event promoter, and club owner, all through my party escapades.
I had some of the best times of my life, lived the life of a rock star, but as they say; all good things come to an end.
This rings so true to the life of an addict!
Methamphetamine destroyed me, heroin nearly killed me. The combination stole all I loved, all I owned, and consumed my soul, making me a slave to their chemical appeal.
I spent years searching for a solution. Countless treatments, recovery attempts, and suicide attempts, until....
IBOGAINE....
ibogaine saved my life and opened a door to change.
I have since spent the last 2 years of my life researching the therapeutic qualities of plant medicine and advocating alternative treatment options through entheogens.
Which brings me to my most recent experience which I hope some of you Bluelighters may relate with and can offer me some insight.
THE MOST PROFOUND PSYCHEDELIC EXPERIENCE OF MY LIFE!!!
Yes, that's correct, I have been using psychedelics for over 20 years and this trumped them all, more than ibogaine, more than Ketamine, and even more than the last 2 years of ayahuasca.
Now I've learned from past experience to never combine other substances with ayahuasca, so a quick fact check shown that this particular substance (3-MEO-PCP) seemed to be of low risk in combination. Still I waited aproxamitly 12-15 hrs assuming the substances half life had expired.
Boy was I wrong!
I was facilitating a ceremony for two friends both new to ayahuasca so I not only drank less than them but did a relatively small dose in general.
Not expecting much of an effect I still spoke my intention to mother earth and asked for insight, healing, and her blessings.
OK, I will share with you my biggest personal struggle as it is pivitol to this experience.
My intent was this-
To deal with my sexuality and how I perceive women.
Methamphetamine has destroyed my sex life. After meth nothing comes close, I have trouble with intimacy and performing without drugs. I know this is why many amphetamine addicts relapse as this topic is rarely covered in traditional treatment settings for straight men.
I asked the plant for insight and this is what she did...
Saturday morning T-28hrs
Injested a small dose <10mg IM of 3-meo-pcp and continued to redose small microdoses throughout the day and into the evening.
T-4hrs begin preparing the brew after only 3-4 hrs of sleep from the night prior.
At aproxamitly 130 pm I consumed 2.5g Syrian Rue and. 25g Syrian Rue HCL extract to activate the DMT containing plant.
30 minutes later consumed the brew consisting of only 5grams Brazilian Mimosa HostilisRoot Bark
T+00
T+10mins started feeling the effects
T+15mins time to purge
T+30mins I was transported into another world, baffled as to why I was feeling such strong effects. Normally I would start to panic at this point, but for some reason I was completely calm. I was concerned about my friends, were they experiencing the same effect? The plant assured me that this was my time, my healing, which kept me calm.
I was presented with the most extreme 3- dimensional hallucinations of my life. I was surrounded by alien beings, congratulating me for such an achievement. One after another they presented themselves and assuring me I was safe, and oh so very happy to see me.
Terrence McKenna often speaks of these alien beings which I and many others speak of when describing DMT. These were unlike anything DMT has provided in the past, this was so very real. They resembled humans in shape but their bodies were longer and had multiple appendages.
This went on for what seemed like 20 minutes or so, than the work begin.
T+45 mins
The aliens begin to work on my body.
I felt like a car receiving service. They would focus their energy on different areas of my body, while I remained still and let them do their work.
Visions of pornography raced through my head. Women being raped, tortured, beat, assaulted... These were the most disturbing hallucinations I have ever witnessed. I wanted to cry. Feelings of empathy filled my being. The plant wanted me to feel these women's pain.
Just when I thought I could take it no longer, visions of death, drugs, jailcells, weapons, and other results of poor life choices raced through my mind.
This lasted for aproxamitly 2hrs.
By than my friends had recovered But I was still very much under the influence of her spell.
By T+4hrs I was back to baseline.
In conclusion, this was the most profound and life altering experience ever. The visions I seen will forever be burnt into my consciousness.
I often tell people that the plant gives you what you need. This was exactly what I needed! The message was so straightforward - you CAN change, and there is no need to ever go back.
I have literally swept my home today of pornography of any kind. I have quit smoking. I threw out all paraphernalia (even for marijuana) never have I been effected in such a profound way from this medicine.
I really hope this sticks, and am looking for some advice on what to do next.
If anyone have any experience mixing disociatives with ayahuasca please let me know as I really want to know if this is
1) safe
2) can be replicated
As this sort of healing could benefit so many.
Thank you science and thank you mother nature. It might have been pure coincidence that I stumbled across this concoction, it may have been some power greater then myself, one things for sure, it's something I will never forget and for that I will always be -
GRATEFUL....
Namaste~
