Life after Dissociatives: How do you feel and what are you doing about it?

[Pb109]

I go deep with ketamine 2-3 times per month so I still take dissociatives. However, because I go K-Hole all the time and I cannot leave me bedroom. Even on small doses of Ket, I still refuse to leave the house.

MXE & 3-Meo-PCP were the other 2 dissociatives that I took regularly. The beauty of these was that I could go out and about and take them. I really enjoyed using 3-Meo-PCP to read space novels. MXE was used daily by myself for 2 years. What a fucking love affair that was. I cannot obtain these 2 now so that relationship is over. However, I still fantasise and think I always will over them.

 

[Bitchniggaz]

Did mxe almost every weekend for over a year.
The last few years ive done more ketamine then i can remember.
Sometimes a month apart and sometimes binged for days in a row.

I feel great when i stay away for a few weeks, i dont chase it.
But somehow it ends up in my hand in various ways.

My bladder is slowly getting worse and i know i cant continue my use.
Its not easy though, if i use ketamine sparingly my life feels good.
I dont crave any other drugs and i train and eat healthy.
But i know ive already taken way to much for a lifetime.

Hopefully i can stay away the rest of the year to at least get some kind of distance from the soul numbing high.
Its ruining my life since every time i start taking it i crave more and more.
It always end up in misery and embaresesment for me.


Im getting back into a routine of ayahuasca a few times per month instead.
Hopefully it can give me some kind of release so i dont end upp in that cold hellhole of IM ketamine binging.