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Letting your boyfriend have sex whenever he wants for a week

BZboo

BZboo

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Jun 4, 2013
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http://thoughtcatalog.com/adrienne-...riend-whenever-he-wanted-heres-what-happened/

I recently read this article about this women who let her boyfriend dictate when they had sex for a week, when normally she decided when was the "right time".
After reading the article i felt that the author opened herself up to a new experience and enjoyed herself. After sharing the article summary with a few different people I got mixed reactions. As a female would you be willingly to let your partner have sex with you whenever even if you weren't "in the mood" for a week? And for the men...would this approach make you become more romantic or change your relationship?
 
I try to take that approach to begin with but with a bit of give and take.

I have sex when I am tired as hell just because whoever I am involved with wants to have sex. I have actually been so tired I fell asleep a few times but the point was I was willing to accomadate. It wasn't that I was bored, I was really that tired or intoxicated.

I kinda feel like if I do that I should be able to bend her over some object anytime I want.

I personally think it is better when you are with someone and neither person really turns the other person down for sex at that time unless they have a very good reason. The best relationships I have been in were when either myself or my partner would initiate things and we would go at it, but you know it a new episode of "Breaking Bad" or "Shameless" was on or if some one was sick it would be kind of understood that it would be best to wait. I am 30 years old so sometimes I want to eat dinner or watch "The Walking Dead" or finish a task I started before I have sex.

I suppose there are two types of sex. There is the fast type where it is very spontanious and than there is the whole really going at it for a long time in the bedroom and the latter can take a very long time.
 
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A partner can indeed meet some of our needs, and we can meet theirs sexually, and emotionally - but not all. A partner meets about 30 % generally. It might be fun for a while, but doesn't seem realistic and honest… Something to ponder indeed. Ty for the article. Interesting
 
if i come onto you within a relationship and you reject me more than a few times i'm done.

i can respect that you are not in the mood but i will not allow another to control me rigidly and decide the "right time" for sex. by that i mean i will dump you quick cos i'm not a wimp, i'm not whipped and i'm not desperate

in my first relationship i never recall being rejected with my advances, and in my most recent one when i was i knew something was wrong on a deeper level cos it hadn't happened before and things were beginning to feel a bit disconnected
 
pofacedhoe said:
if i come onto you within a relationship and you reject me more than a few times i'm done.

i can respect that you are not in the mood but i will not allow another to control me rigidly and decide the "right time" for sex. by that i mean i will dump you quick cos i'm not a wimp, i'm not whipped and i'm not desperate

in my first relationship i never recall being rejected with my advances, and in my most recent one when i was i knew something was wrong on a deeper level cos it hadn't happened before and things were beginning to feel a bit disconnected
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Is this a one way road? I'm just saying that you say you will not allow another to tell you when is the right time for sex but you can tell your partner when it's right?
 
Why would you not let your BF has sex whenever he wants? I cannot remember the last time I said no :D

I'm sort of always ready for sex so its not a problem for me - On the flip side, I would certainly not expect my partner to be ready for sex whenever I wanted. I think it depends on what aspect of sex you actually enjoy ? If you expect every round to leave you gasping after having the most intense orgasm ever - Its not really going to happen. If you just enjoy that your partner is getting off then - hell yeah :)
 
As a man I can say. That sometimes you want to bend a girl without questions. But think that you have to syncronize with your partner and after that you will have sex at the same time you want.
 
Its interesting to see how the dynamic of sex changes over time. If the average status quo says anything its that all you young women who are holding out will end up being the ones begging for it come your mid thirties and beyond. Ahh the circle of life.
 
I've never had a relationship where sex is desirably mutual at all times. Doesn't seem realistic, unless you're in your 20's.
 
Idk I hear about a lot of break ups happening with the girl saying "it seemed like he just wanted me for my body and sex" where the relationship turned into the guy only wanting to hangout to have sex and if it wasn't happening he was over it. Or he would want sex and be denied and be grumpy, but then getting sex and being transformed to all lovey Dovey, and the girl saw he was only happy with her when sex was involved.

Ive seen/heard of this ending 4 relationships of friends of mine.

Amd honestly I couldn't see this working and do believe the relationship would turn into the guy just seeing girl and expecting the sex every time. I'm not gonna lie it would ruin my relationship because I'd be wanting to fuck my girl all day every day would never want to stop.

Maybe id turn it in to a game of her always thinking I was about to bend her over and get her all hot but refrain for a few weeks and she'll be begging for it.

I I rather just have a partner who is sexually compatible and where if one of us might not be in the mood but the other really wants it, we'd try to make e other person happy.

But like I said, sexual compatibility, respect, lust, and love, will most likely work better in the long run then just lust
 
Foreigner said:
I've never had a relationship where sex is desirably mutual at all times. Doesn't seem realistic, unless you're in your 20's.
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I believe any relationship must develop its complicity to allow us to be spontaneous, and truthful.
When we are partners we learn about each other. The timing, how and where sex could be experienced with respect and love, mutual acceptance.
It may look like a cliché but I love the classic respect and compromise.
It's deeply enriching to love and to be loved. I think everyone should experience this at least once in a lifetime. It's comforting, and empower each one of us to be anything and to live life how one is supposed to.
Like I said, many or most people see this as a cliché but It does matter. We go after what makes us happy and that give us such freedom.
 
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pofacedhoe said:
if i come onto you within a relationship and you reject me more than a few times i'm done.

i can respect that you are not in the mood but i will not allow another to control me rigidly and decide the "right time" for sex. by that i mean i will dump you quick cos i'm not a wimp, i'm not whipped and i'm not desperate
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Definitely this. I didn't read the article, but from the description it just sounds like the dude in that relationship was whipped.
 
nygiants1313 said:
Idk I hear about a lot of break ups happening with the girl saying "it seemed like he just wanted me for my body and sex" where the relationship turned into the guy only wanting to hangout to have sex and if it wasn't happening he was over it. Or he would want sex and be denied and be grumpy, but then getting sex and being transformed to all lovey Dovey, and the girl saw he was only happy with her when sex was involved.

Ive seen/heard of this ending 4 relationships of friends of mine.

Amd honestly I couldn't see this working and do believe the relationship would turn into the guy just seeing girl and expecting the sex every time. I'm not gonna lie it would ruin my relationship because I'd be wanting to fuck my girl all day every day would never want to stop.

Maybe id turn it in to a game of her always thinking I was about to bend her over and get her all hot but refrain for a few weeks and she'll be begging for it.

I I rather just have a partner who is sexually compatible and where if one of us might not be in the mood but the other really wants it, we'd try to make e other person happy.

But like I said, sexual compatibility, respect, lust, and love, will most likely work better in the long run then just lust
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Well see those women have logic that is totally fucked. I mean sex is not a reward mechanism or a chore. So when you start playing games by withholding sex... yeah. You can come to whatever conclusion you want.

The pussy is not made out of gold and neither is the cock. So why date someone you do not want to have sex with?

I wouldn't want to be with a chick that would with hold sex just to see if I still liked to be around her. I mean if you go through the trouble of making a date as well as finding time in your schedule to see a woman you would think sex would be mandatory.

The end to a perfect date is not watching a movie and going to sleep. If you live with a woman it is not like you need to have sex daily but if you are just dating you would think that every date there would be sex.

If a woman would interpret that as a man only wanting sex well she should consider that dude chose to spend time with her and didn't just literally call her up and be like "Can I swing by to have sex and leave?" because that would be just having sex and nothing else and that actually happens.

I have heard that line about "just wanting sex or treating them like a piece of meat" and I am thinking "I just bought this chick dinner or took her to a movie or spent the whole damn evening with her" so yeah it will just lead to the guy being sexually frustrated and he will be thinking "damn is this chick gonna have sex with me again or what?" so when they do have sex he will be nicer.

So yeah all this amateur psychologist chick group shit out to stop because the whole point of dating is sex. At the core dating is essentially mating and you are trying to find who to mate with and possibly co-habitate with. When sex stops and you played the other part of co-habitating it can be extremely frustrating.

So yeah I wouldn't even want a woman who would deny me sex without a good reason because I wouldn't deny her sex without one. So its a two way street. I really hate people who think of sex as a chore. They really need to stop dating and think about whether or not they are whoring themselves out for a certain lifestyle.
 
Foreigner said:
I've never had a relationship where sex is desirably mutual at all times. Doesn't seem realistic, unless you're in your 20's.
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No kidding. That generally just happens in the "honeymoon" phase.
Honestly when I get home from work, I'm just tired and want to sleep. Hard working 10 hour days, getting home, tidying/cooking/whatever and then having sex too? I mean, I love sex, but I have like half an hour in the evening where I can do anything and I'm usually too tired for sex. :(
We enjoy sex on the weekends. But if one of us isn't feeling it, then we aren't going to make each other LOL. We respect each other too much. Unfortunately my anxiety gets in the way but I've been trying to get over that.
 
Mstmil said:
Is this a one way road? I'm just saying that you say you will not allow another to tell you when is the right time for sex but you can tell your partner when it's right?
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i wont tell my partner what to do on anything, they can think for themselves but i have legs and if i dont like your attitude i'll walk

i wont tell you how to act, i'll simply watch what you do and act accordingly.

no-one is going to be deciding when i'm allowed to have sex. if you keep rejecting me i will not force myself on you, i wont keep begging and when you do decide you want it i'll be like nah i dont fancy you so much any more because i wont. i am only attracted to personalities that dont chip away at my self esteem

i dont want to control you and if you try to control me i'm done
 
pofacedhoe said:
i wont tell my partner what to do on anything, they can think for themselves but i have legs and if i dont like your attitude i'll walk

i wont tell you how to act, i'll simply watch what you do and act accordingly.

no-one is going to be deciding when i'm allowed to have sex. if you keep rejecting me i will not force myself on you, i wont keep begging and when you do decide you want it i'll be like nah i dont fancy you so much any more because i wont. i am only attracted to personalities that dont chip away at my self esteem

i dont want to control you and if you try to control me i'm done
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I think he meant more along the lines of, if you are tired and not in the mood, you wouldn't tell your partner that and would just let them have sex with you? or would you reject your partner and say, i don't want to have sex right now?

I find it's tough for me to really tell when my wife is in the mood or not. When she is horny I think she isn't in the mood, when she isn't in the mood i think she is. When we met, I had no clue she liked me for like 2 years.. really. I just suck with signals unfortunately. Go figure! lol
 
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