Got me thinking today when I was all narked out on nitrogen during a deep dive to the bottom of the ocean.
I was hallucinating. The bubbles from the second stage of my regulator were making amazing sounds, as if the bubbles were wrapping all around my head. I was with a couple of other dudes - a German, a Slovakian, and a Frenchie.
It was the hallucination that really got my attention. When I was about 13, I was abusing nitrous and used to trip out to the BS. I kept wanting to trip more, but I had this image of a chick with dark, curly hair, tanned skin, beautiful eyes. She was staring at me with a smile on her face. Every time I went deep into nitrous abuse, I would see this outline of her face, and she became familiar to me.
I was recently with woman for a few years, I never really thought she resembled anyone else I knew, and that's what I liked about her. But we broke up. I met this other hottie in the dive shop I'm working at, an Italian, and she is pretty damn cute. I think I like her.
When I was tripping out at the bottom of the ocean today, I saw the same hallucination as when I was a kid abusing nitrous. It reminded me, because I had forgotten.
But the face I saw, although the same face for sure, was that of a hybrid of both of these females - like flashing between one and the other, and also meshing together.
It probs sounds insane, but that is what I saw.
It was pretty friggin amazing.
It's made me think about drugs, experiences, moving through life. It's all really one and the same.
But, I guess, the question would be, how the hell could I have seen a hybrid of two girls I have been thinking about recently when I was a teenager tripping on nitrous? Like, seriously. wtf
I'm a big believer of free will, but this made me wonder for a minute. Can we know, somewhere inside us, something in the future?
I doubt it, but sometimes funny things happen when you're tripping out at the bottom of the ocean
