Last high

[goatguyy]

My friend got prescribed oxycodone for her teeth, i accompanied her to the doctors and went with her to the pharmacy to pick them up. They’re 10s, and she gave me 2 about a week ago. Ive kind of been hoarding them ever since because this is legitimately the first time i’ve gotten my hands on pain killers in a really long fucking time. Like legitimately since I was 12, 7 years ago. I had a fun time with them when i was younger and they remained, in my mind, probably the best high i’ve ever experienced. Today she decided to just give me the entire bottle, because she just didn’t want them apparently. About 50 mg in my hands now.

I don’t really know what the fuck to do with them. I mentioned this in an earlier post I made, where now I randomly have all of this anxiety. None of the stuff I do regularly have actually accomplished making me feel good in a really long fucking time; cigarettes and alcohol and shit just make me sick, I don’t feel euphoria from them at all. Weed has started to freak me out every single time I smoke, no matter what, 0 euphoria from it anyway. Same with shrooms, I get nothing.

I genuinely believe that I’m probably incapable of feeling euphoria. Maybe the last time i felt it was when i was doing vicodin and oxy all the way back then. Idk. I guess im scared it wont make me feel happy. Or just the kind of numb i want to feel. Like this whole time ive been holding on to the notion that if these pain killers can make me feel good, consistently good, then i’m still capable of being happy in some sense.

Im also stressing about how to make the most of what i got. After these, its literally over. Ive got nothing else. I dont want it to be a lame high. I want it to last for a little.

Take them near friends? By myself? ughh.

 

[crazyhairman]

Ha yea, I totally have felt that same way before. I even still to this day have a small amount of pills that I used to use everyday just in case I break a leg or something dum. I'm afraid I'll have a bad time if I take them for fun.
Or worse I'll love it and want to do it again and again. For me personally I feel like that part of my life is over so I choose to not take them ever.

Once in a while I'll just open the bottle and look at them. It's like a mixture of pleasure and pain from how I used to live.

No, I remember I'm not missing anything, weather it's good or bad, it's not something I haven't experienced before. I don't miss it , but if I had an extremely painful tooth extraction I'd take them. I'd enjoy the lack of pain but I don't think I'd enjoy the high.
Not anymore

Choose wisely, you can always save them for a rainy day.

 

[LucidSDreamr]

After these, its literally over.

Bet