Ladies: Which is more important, a hot body or a good looking face?

[kytnism]

perhaps; although the post he was citing was more detailed than that and varies with age and relationship depth.

hence my reply.

...kytnism...

 

[Pagey]

no.

1. be physically attractive to me personally (this varies from woman to woman)
2. have a personality we can relate to and bond with
3. have ambition
4. have a job (i do, so should you)
5. give as much to the relationship/family as i do

...kytnism...

Seconded.

afterlifestyle's post just fits into physical attractiveness (and would indeed help on that front), but I think when it comes to general criteria this post is pretty spot on.

 

[llama112]

What I was saying is that you're being foolish and naive. And I don't mean to offend you by saying that (and didn't mean to in my earlier post, either). What you don't fully realize at this point is that looks don't last. What you've got now - which is that people respond to you a certain way based on your looks - is temporary. You have your choice of partners now. You can go to the front of lines. People want to be like you. You should savor it while you can. But it's important to know that you won't have it in the future, because it's too easy to fall into the trap of not developing yourself in other areas if things are being handed to you based on your looks. Also, there's a certain arrogance that you need to watch out for.

When you're 50 - or even when you're 40 - you may still look great for your age. But you won't turn heads at 50, unless it's a 60 or 65 year old whose head you're turning. And then I think you'd be settling, unless it's looks-and-relative-youth for money. Youth is huge for men, and we can always go younger.

I don't get the impression you rely too much on your looks, but your post was a bit of a red flag. Where I live, there are lots of women who used to be great looking and who still have a sense of entitlement or arrogance, and they are annoying to most people in the same way as aggressive, homeless panhandlers. You don't want to become that. Be humble and develop skills and a personality as if you were homely, and then you'll have the best of all worlds.

So because I'm attractive and know I'm attractive, that means that I must not have a good personality? Yes, that's what I'm getting out of your posts. Perhaps you'd like to explain that more?

I can't help it that I know I'm attractive. It's hard to NOT know. I see myself in the mirror. I notice how much I get hit on, checked out, etc. I feel like I'm a good person in general and I'm not going to "settle" for a partner who is just not what I'd like in a partner. (And I haven't, my boyfriend is awesome.) It's like, smart people who know they are smart. Should they pretend that they are dumb? No. Face it, you know you're smart, accept it. That's what I've gotten to.

You are very right that I do not rely much on my looks. I have noticed some benefits but I try to keep them to a minimum.

I'm not going to stop "developing" myself in other areas because I am good looking. That is ridiculous.

True.

I guess I just didnt like your "Im super hot so I dont have to choose" attitude.

I didn't mean to be overly conceited. But many good looking people know they are good looking and they simply don't have to choose. There are soooo many good looking people out there with nice faces and bodies. My boyfriend is attractive in both ways and a good guy so I'm pretty lucky but I know he thinks quite similarly about me. Am I supposed to pretend I am unattractive? I did choose and vote on your poll as well. Although, again, many people do not have to choose.

 

[Johnny1]

So because I'm attractive and know I'm attractive, that means that I must not have a good personality? Yes, that's what I'm getting out of your posts. Perhaps you'd like to explain that more?

I can't help it that I know I'm attractive. It's hard to NOT know. I see myself in the mirror. I notice how much I get hit on, checked out, etc. I feel like I'm a good person in general and I'm not going to "settle" for a partner who is just not what I'd like in a partner. (And I haven't, my boyfriend is awesome.) It's like, smart people who know they are smart. Should they pretend that they are dumb? No. Face it, you know you're smart, accept it. That's what I've gotten to.

You are very right that I do not rely much on my looks. I have noticed some benefits but I try to keep them to a minimum.

I'm not going to stop "developing" myself in other areas because I am good looking. That is ridiculous.

There was just something wrong with your earlier post where you said you would never have to settle in the looks department because you're goodlooking. It's hard for me to put my finger on what it is because I don't know you except from your posts here, and even then not very well. So that's why my last post was a bit disjointed. At first I just said, "what about when you get older?" Your response was that you and your bf will both be great looking 50 year olds and you backed your previous statement.

There's every chance you have a handle on your looks and keep it in perspective, i.e. (as you said in your last post) to enjoy them but not to rely upon them. But something still gnawed at me about your statement, and I don't think it was simply that you were being a bit arrogant and needed to be cut down to size. It's like you're setting yourself up for disillusionment. I've seen this a number of times. It might not apply to you, but would you want to know if it did?

The truth is that it's possible to be a hot 50 year old - for your age - and your s.o. and older men will respond to that. But it won't be the same. Looks don't last. Men tend to age better than women, although there are exceptions. It's skin that shows it. Asian women often have an advantage here. Regardless, don't smoke cigarettes. Don't go in the sun without sunscreen. Stay fit. But it's way better to have a normal life where you get married and raise a family (if you are so inclined) and be healthy at 50, than live the high life and travel the world and be single at 50, because that life will be over way before that time. It doesn't last, that's all I was saying. And your statement implied that it does. There's still a piece of it you can have, but it's a small piece. Just like a mathematician or an athlete can't retain most of their talents at 50.

 

[Care]

I didn't mean to be overly conceited. But many good looking people know they are good looking and they simply don't have to choose. There are soooo many good looking people out there with nice faces and bodies. My boyfriend is attractive in both ways and a good guy so I'm pretty lucky but I know he thinks quite similarly about me. Am I supposed to pretend I am unattractive? I did choose and vote on your poll as well. Although, again, many people do not have to choose.

It wasnt my poll, someone else added it.

No one is saying you have to pretend youre unattractive. In fact I think its very important that people be happy with their looks and their body.

But when you bring up how sexy you are out of nowhere apparently for the purpose of tooting your own horn it can come across as conceited.

Im a pretty attractive guy (tall, fit, handsome, educated) but I try to stay humble about it and wont bring it up unless i'm asked about it because no one likes to hear someone else brag about how awesome they are.

 

[llama112]

It wasnt my poll, someone else added it.

Would you like me to remove the poll? Seems like you don't want it here after all? Or do you??



My first post just said I won't have to settle. Seriously. After you guys were all upset over that (which I still don't see why), I then mentioned that it was because I was attractive and a generally nice person and it was not out of no where. I do not "toot my own horn", I certainly don't need to. I'm not arguing with you guys, I was just stating my own opinion and life experience. I'm not arrogant, I am sometimes confident, but I think everyone should be confident, so I don't think confidence is a bad thing.

Oh and a) I don't smoke cigarettes, b) I don't go out in the sun without suncreen (I'm pale, that's a recipe for disaster lol), and c) I try and stay fit. I'm not saying I won't lose my looks when I'm old. I'm 22, I know I'm going to be less attractive when I'm older. But this post was not about what is happening in 30 years (or whatever). I'm 22 now, so I'll answer the post in the present moment.

If you just want to "cut me down to size" or insult me, that's not what SLR is about, but I'm not going to argue with you, because you don't know me.

 

[Johnny1]

That was never my intent. I just wanted to give you some perspective. You can take it or leave it, it's all good.

 

[Care]

Didnt mean to offend you llama, sorry if I did.

Youre right in that I dont know you, and its probably unfair to judge you based off of one comment. No hard feelings I hope.

I say keep the poll.

 

[Animal Mother]

perhaps; although the post he was citing was more detailed than that and varies with age and relationship depth.

hence my reply.

...kytnism...

Oh, ok. I try my best not to read anybody else's post if it it is longer than 30 lines.