Hey
@anthonyxx
It's too bad you're having trouble with the relapses. That doesn't mean it's over. It sounds like you've had some good experiences with being in a sober house. As programs go, I think sober houses are pretty good for a lot of people. I had a good experience with a sober house several years ago, which made me a fan. I still relapsed after I left. My family was so happy for my progress, they let me come home for the holidays and thereafter. I was drinking my Mom's sherry that night. After I got drunk, I took 20 dollars out of her wallet and wandered to buy some Heroin. The program was 3 months. I cut it short. Like you, I was aware of the positive effects in my life that my program had, but I made a mistake in leaving. Sometimes we don't understand why things happen to us in life. Some decisions are obvious though. I decided not to continue with what was working and paid the price.
We have a lot in common. By the time I turned 30 (I just turned 32) I had messed up, relapsed, repeated many times. Sometimes it's just the pain that makes you stop, as you're not able to compensate for the amount of pain you're experiencing with the drugs and are more or less forced to give up, or die, or go to prison.
As you had good experiences with the sober house environment, I can only assume you have gotten good feelings from the AA meetings those houses typically force you to attend. Maybe you can't go to a sober house. I respect that some people are not able to make these sacrifices for legitimate reasons. That doesn't mean you can't immerse yourself in AA/NA. I've always preferred AA and those who read me know why. I think going to a meeting every day could help you out here. It's not the perfect treatment, but it's the best one I know. I've seen very few people ever get better on their own. It happens. It's not the normal occurrence though.
I know a lot of people will recommend maintenance therapy or otherwise medication-assisted slow withdrawal. I too believe this can be of great help for people. I think even people who receive medication don't get better without fixing their minds. I don't recommend people to start maintenance unless they're ready to make other changes in their life. Having your Opioids paid for can just allow more money for things like Crack or Alcohol.
I would go ahead and return to what you know has worked.
Objectively
Gabapentin is pretty commonly used among the Opioid-user community and beyond. A lot of folks will take it to get high on top of their standard Opioids. They are also commonly used for withdrawal symptoms. They're pretty effective in this way. I can attest to this from personal experience. I've also spent the past several years talking about
Gabapentin and Pregabalin on a pretty constant basis. There are drugs like
Benzodiazepines that will numb you or otherwise cover up your symptoms, as they would numb any person.
Gabapentinoids seem to actually improve symptoms of withdrawal as opposed to covering them up. I would need to take very high dosages of
Benzodiazepines than I would take proportionately for
Gabapentionoids.
Most people will get significant relief from
300mg Gabapentin 3x per day Morning/Noon/Night. You could probably double this without any issue, so use your judgement. Also,
Gabapentin is absorbed better on a full-stomach, so it's better after eating something, preferably something fatty.