Hey I've don't know if I've dealt with derealization or depersonalization but I have struggled with pretty bad depressive episodes most my life. Some of my earlier memories are of suicidal fits I would go into not knowing why or what, or waking up from night terrors in tears unable to stop crying. I don't know if all symptoms apply to my case, but from what I have read on it I can certainly relate. The cause and the cure may be different, but I think in many cases of mental illness/poblems/difficulties or whatever you wish to call them, there are general solutions that will help the body and mind. Things like eating healthy and making sure to get vitamins and nutrients, working out and exercising(more strenuous the better almost), healthy loving relationships with friends and family(or people you consider family), and good sleep(not too much but not too little!!) will likely improve your situation.. really most any situation imo can be helped by these things.
When things aren't going right in my life, those are the things that I look to first to make sure they are in order, then once the body and mind are cared for I try to sooth the psyche with things like music and art. I am a musician and at times this seems to be the cause of my depression(stagnating career) but there never has been a time when I did not find some form of music to be a godsend. Instrumental music is absolutely gorgeous when I do not feel that I have any words or any emotions that I care to express and I am having trouble making sense of the world.
Above all else, do not give up. Keep you eye on the goal of getting healthy, of getting better, of moving forward. Find things that you are passionate about and pursue the fucking shit out of them. Chase them down and do not let them go. The things that give me passion also give me meaning. There is no absolute meaning in life, at least not mine. I do not subscribe to any religion expecting it to save my soul and deriving hope from this false sense of safety. Life-- time is all that we have. Use yours in a way that gives you passion and desire to continue living.
Hope this helps in some small way... if not you can always try The Dark Side or one of the forums in the recovery section of the BL, most everyone there is very sympathetic and understanding. Know that you are far from alone in your experience, there are many like you who have recovered and probably even more who have recovered from much worse. Stay hopeful, the brain has an amazing way of repairing itself and adapting to it's environment.
