Lady Ice
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Oct 9, 2006
- Messages
- 49
Good morning, World.
In today's headlines, we are sad to inform you that this will be our last report.
Due to unbearable circumstances and overwhelming defects, tomorrow has been cancelled.
This decision was carried out during a meeting yesterday at The Top of the World.
Our chief Head of Environment, Mother Nature, Chief Treasurer of Change, Father Time and the Consuls of Humanity were present.
The votes to stop tomorrow were unanimous and reasons for the ultimatum were based on statistics collected by the WIA (World Intelligence Agency)
Results show that
97% of people are not happy with their lives
6 out of 10 citizens have contemplated suicide with at least 4 of them succeeding in the act
80% of those who took a poll on whether "Life Sucks" voted "Yes"
Half of the population either suffered from hunger, war, disease or boredom.
Aside from that, Money worshippers have joined the MGBTYG (My God is Better Than Your God) War, adding numbers to the death toll on war casualties.
The leaders had the People's interest at heart when they decided that they'd end our misery for us.
The cost of ending the world will amount to approximately 100 floppity-gillion USD.
Although such amounts of money doesn't really exist, the leaders reasoned that since we won't be here tomorrow, it doesn't matter anyway.
Hence, resulting in our report on useless information.
A law has been issued to prevent the further existence beyond any day beyond this one.
The world shall disappear at exactly 11:59pm.
We urged everyone to fully utilize their time.
For those who predicted the end of the world, we know you told us so.
Although this is no longer relevant..
Life mart has announced that they no longer produce Compassion, Respect and Love since it is no longer in demand.
They will have an auction to sell off their 5 remaining units of Sincerity at 5pm tomorrow, which we know will not happen.
That is all we have, stay tuned for more updates.
We warn you that it will make no difference.
Thank you and have a pleasant rest of today.
- written in September 2007
In today's headlines, we are sad to inform you that this will be our last report.
Due to unbearable circumstances and overwhelming defects, tomorrow has been cancelled.
This decision was carried out during a meeting yesterday at The Top of the World.
Our chief Head of Environment, Mother Nature, Chief Treasurer of Change, Father Time and the Consuls of Humanity were present.
The votes to stop tomorrow were unanimous and reasons for the ultimatum were based on statistics collected by the WIA (World Intelligence Agency)
Results show that
97% of people are not happy with their lives
6 out of 10 citizens have contemplated suicide with at least 4 of them succeeding in the act
80% of those who took a poll on whether "Life Sucks" voted "Yes"
Half of the population either suffered from hunger, war, disease or boredom.
Aside from that, Money worshippers have joined the MGBTYG (My God is Better Than Your God) War, adding numbers to the death toll on war casualties.
The leaders had the People's interest at heart when they decided that they'd end our misery for us.
The cost of ending the world will amount to approximately 100 floppity-gillion USD.
Although such amounts of money doesn't really exist, the leaders reasoned that since we won't be here tomorrow, it doesn't matter anyway.
Hence, resulting in our report on useless information.
A law has been issued to prevent the further existence beyond any day beyond this one.
The world shall disappear at exactly 11:59pm.
We urged everyone to fully utilize their time.
For those who predicted the end of the world, we know you told us so.
Although this is no longer relevant..
Life mart has announced that they no longer produce Compassion, Respect and Love since it is no longer in demand.
They will have an auction to sell off their 5 remaining units of Sincerity at 5pm tomorrow, which we know will not happen.
That is all we have, stay tuned for more updates.
We warn you that it will make no difference.
Thank you and have a pleasant rest of today.
- written in September 2007
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