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Jokes: Crackhead problems: You might be a crackhead if...

T

thenozzle

Greenlighter
Joined
Dec 30, 2011
Messages
35
So, on the show jersey shore there's a thing they do where, when they run into a problem they shout "Guido problems!"
The comical experiences are specific to people who are 'guidos'
I had a funny idea that there should also be 'Crackhead problems"

To get it started:
When you want a half ball and your dealer hears 'whole ball', and then you get there and they get upset you didnt bring enough for a whole 8ball,and then you end up leaving with none...crackhead problems!

When you can't find any gas stations that sell the little glass flower tube things...crackhead problems!
 
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Wonder if this thread will stay open but anyways some of the problems I had:

-when you go to break the rock and the big piece ends up falling on the side of the seat. You search for it over and over but still can't find it. You feel something hard and think its the rock but it isn't.... (Happened to me stupid hands, I was shaking cause I took mad hits lol and wasn't even done)

-you go to the gas station for a glass tube but have to get foil and your friend parks between two cops smh...

-you wonder why you're smoking crack but continue to do it anyways....you don't want to really tell anyone who knows you though because it's crack.

-sketching out when smoking the crack and the liquid starts cracking and popping up so you think its going to get in your eye (when freebasing it).

-everyone can do coke but if you suggest crack then OH NOOOO its all bad......so I never suggest smoking crack even though I rather smoke crack than do lines of shitty coke.

-you choose not to do crack again cause you don't want to fit the "stereotype"
.

crackhead problems.
 
When it's taken you all day to get a score together that will either get you 2 bags of brown and that should just be enough to get you through till morning, or 1 brown 1 white knowing there's not enough H there to keep you straight but you stll get the rock anways cos banged up in a syringe it'll give you a rush and a high that knocks anything you're getting from the H anymore into a cocked hat. Crack problems!
 
This is a similar thread to our "You might be a junkie if..."

Let's leave this thread open for a while and see where it goes. I'm going to change the title to "You might be a crackhead if..."

If nothing much comes from this thread, I'll either merge it or close it, I suppose.
 
You might be a crack head if you smoke crack out of a crack pipe LOL!



























:D
 
-you're stealing food from your parents freezer to sell
-Your new name is your old name with 'crackhead' infront of it
 
if you never get the chance to read this thread

cause lets face it, you don't have internet connection

and you have better things to do than going to the library

like, smoking crack
 
China Rider said:
if you never get the chance to read this thread

cause lets face it, you don't have internet connection

and you have better things to do than going to the library

like, smoking crack
Click to expand...

They could happen upon a laptop, open to this page. They might could possibly read it(after snatching it,) while in route to the crack slingers spot. Could happen. Just sayin...
 
I think this thread should stay open.. the junky thread is primarily dope ikt seems like.. crackheads are a whole nother ballpark
 
Lol I actually go to the library to use the internet on the laptop my school had given me.... Its a mac and there's no way I'm selling it or else I'd be fucked. But you gotta realize crackheads are the main inhabitants of the library.... Fuck, so many sketchy ass motherfuckers in there. Even this one crackhead I knew and he was talking to a stuffed animal telling it to stop looking at him because it was making him nervous. The other ones are passed out on a chair next to the fuckin outlet I need but I don't wake them.... So whatever.

Another crackhead who I was friends with (was a chill dude) he carried a thing of gas around. And had coffee but not made, just the ground up shit.....was one crazy ass dude but he ended up in jail and I never saw him again.
 
ms4104 said:
I think this thread should stay open.. the junky thread is primarily dope ikt seems like.. crackheads are a whole nother ballpark
Click to expand...

It's true. We'll keep the thread open then, for the lols ;)

And I had no idea about returning frozen food, but that's a good idea lol
 
This guy wasnt returning the frozen food he was sellin it for deep discounts lol then you get the opiate addicts that will straight up steal from the grocery stores.I call them the meat bandits.
 
^ Really? I wonder how that would work though because what frozen food could you possibly have that, after selling it at a discounted price, would earn you enough money to buy crack? Well, crack isn't too expensive, I guess...
 
Cheese and Meat are hot commodities man, $40 or $50 worth of food for $20 is a fucking steal! Especially when the people buying it dont have much money.The junkies are even better you'll get like $100 or more worth of food for $30 or $40
 
^ That's true, actually. I forgot about meat and cheese. The frozen food I'm imagining is like... frozen pizza, hot pockets and shit. lol
 
Fuck that shit lol and these guys steal the good meat, they take the most expensive shit they can. Also when my cousin was selling coke people used to showup with all kinds of crazy shit, one guy would bring a grocery bag or 2 of AA batteries and trade for like a $20 or $40 bag, and another dude showed up with 2 fucking garbage bags of chocolate bars.Then theres your normal shit tools, electronics, etc.
 
When your last good lighter explodes and you are too geeked out to go buy a new one (especially if it is sunny).

Big problem- getting the paranoid idiots away from your doors and windows and the light switches.

Also, getting the parinoid idiots to stop exclaiming, "its almost gone! Its almost gone! Shhh someone is outside...(etc)" when you have just started smoking and there is a lot left and you live in apartment where people need to walk down the outside hallway to get to and from their places.

Big problem- figuring out where some of the jackasses you are smoking with have hidden your shit that they swiped when you had it out to smoke and they think that you either weren't paying attention or that you wouldn't notice that it was gone.

Super big problem when you are fiending - you give your last $20 to a random dealer that is long gone when you figure out that the shit is wax and not rock.

I could go on.....

Kc
 
verso said:
This is a similar thread to our "You might be a junkie if..."

Let's leave this thread open for a while and see where it goes. I'm going to change the title to "You might be a crackhead if..."

If nothing much comes from this thread, I'll either merge it or close it, I suppose.
Click to expand...

I think its different from the you might be a junkie thread, because that one focuses more on 'characteristics of a junkie', whereas this one is more about the funny things that happen to "crackheads" that only another crackhead would understand
 
-When you scored a few nice rocks, and you are anxious to get home and smoke, but then when you do and youre all ready to go, but then all the sudden you have to take a huge dump, and you have to delay it longer: Crackhead problems!

-When you have the most delicious food ever, whether its your favorite ice cream,burrito, or anything, but you smoked and you cant eat it because youre not hungry anymore(as well as being too busy to do anything but smoke). Only way it could get worse is if you knew the food would be bad or unavailable later: crack head problems.

-Heres a very stereotypical one, but when you actually find yourself doing it, you have to realize the irony:When you are at the end of the session and youre fiending for more,and you find yourself on the floor seeing white crumbs,or on the table,and then you feel it,and it seems to be crack. But then you try to smoke it and it burns weirdly, then you realize it's rice from a burrito you ate earlier: Crackhead problems.
(btw,solution to this is wipe the surface very well before you begin,then that way later if you see something youll know it couldnt be anything besides a precious runaway crumb from your now-gone rock)

-Similar to the last one; When you accidentally drop a piece on the carpet and you go crazy trying to find it, saying "OH MY GOD,NOBODY MOVE~!"
 
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