Meth IYE of not WANTING to give up drug use and the path you chose as a result...What advice would you give to one at that crossroads?

[DementedDiurnal]

Hey everyone, long-term lurker here, who wanted some views from people who have experienced far more than I have. I want to give you some context for this question, I understand that not everybody's experience is the same, but if someone can understand where I'm coming from, I would want to hear what they would be so kind to share.

I know I have ADHD (inattentive), it's been diagnosed. I've always been distracted, impulsive and lonely since I was a teen and ironically it was when I was trying to get a script for vyvanse (trying to get legal drugs) I actually seriously considered my history, personality and I realised I did check all the boxes - starkly.

I've been on meth (small amounts) for the last year and heroin (0.05 to 0.1 daily) for the last four months. I am currently on subuxone and on ORT awaiting a suboclade injection (3 shots over 3 months) to get off heroin.

I'm 25 M Asian-Australian, In my life I have two major commitments: My wife and Law school of which I have finished a my 1st year with fairly good grades.

Ice and Heroin has been my combo of choice, it's readily available in my area and I can tend to my commitments efficiently and fairly easily like being and taking care of the wife, law school and tending to our apartment with this habit. Ice to get the ole machine ticking and heroin to keep it even and cool. Hell, it was an incredibly gratifying feeling to finish off my Major Assignment on the two drugs and receive a Distinction. The main thing is my wife though, I really really do love her and my studies in the end are to get into a position to earn a bloodton of money to support her and her aspirations...I never considered going into Law before meeting her.

that's enough context. Now to the meet of the matter, sorry if reading this is a pain.

Last year, before my wife and I were married and just dating, I used heroin for about 6 months. I had always felt in my gut, that in the end the ultimate purpose of a human life was to find God/be with God....and then Act, that life was never about the money but for Love and Truth. That changed when I married my wife... and the whole careerist side in me which was latent from an Asian background (Singapore) came out, because my love for her and consequent responsibility to look after her took precedence.

The last day I abused H last year, I tried mushrooms. And experienced the ("Sit down and listen...or else") side of Mushrooms that LSD has lacked in my experience. That day Mother Nature literally sat me down and shut me up and when I accepted she taught me what a mess I was making of my life, how poisoned I had become. It was traumatic, and the fire of WANT was there. The next day I quit CT and went to the hospital with withdrawals. Placed into detox and meditated and prayed. And I came out of it with immense peace and understanding and ultimately purpose which lasted a time, I was so happy being substance free.

Fast forward a year later and after a few personal failures, self-contempt, I'm in a position where I have been using H for the last 4 months, but this time...the WANT to quit is not present. I coldly calculated that this was the time to quit based on my uni break...I went to the doc who firmly stated it was suboxone--->subutex---->injections for me and that was the only way. And here I am, a week away from the shot and I really don't WANT to quit.

My life has always been one where the WANT has prevailed...I believe that people will do whatever they WANT to do, and that's the end of it. I also believe that things are fated and each period of one's life is there at the right time for the right reasons.

So tell me, If anyone bothered to read this far and thank you for doing so, I don't want to quit, not like I did before...I think that I can keep things on the right path even if I keep using, what's going to become of me? What became of you?

Is every case really different? Or does it all end in misery and despair having lost everything to the dragon? Is this a road that will be paved with regret?

 

[Antiprosynthesis]

Hey everyone, long-term lurker here, who wanted some views from people who have experienced far more than I have. I want to give you some context for this question, I understand that not everybody's experience is the same, but if someone can understand where I'm coming from, I would want to hear what they would be so kind to share.

I know I have ADHD (inattentive), it's been diagnosed. I've always been distracted, impulsive and lonely since I was a teen and ironically it was when I was trying to get a script for vyvanse (trying to get legal drugs) I actually seriously considered my history, personality and I realised I did check all the boxes - starkly.

I've been on meth (small amounts) for the last year and heroin (0.05 to 0.1 daily) for the last four months. I am currently on subuxone and on ORT awaiting a suboclade injection (3 shots over 3 months) to get off heroin.

I'm 25 M Asian-Australian, In my life I have two major commitments: My wife and Law school of which I have finished a my 1st year with fairly good grades.

Ice and Heroin has been my combo of choice, it's readily available in my area and I can tend to my commitments efficiently and fairly easily like being and taking care of the wife, law school and tending to our apartment with this habit. Ice to get the ole machine ticking and heroin to keep it even and cool. Hell, it was an incredibly gratifying feeling to finish off my Major Assignment on the two drugs and receive a Distinction. The main thing is my wife though, I really really do love her and my studies in the end are to get into a position to earn a bloodton of money to support her and her aspirations...I never considered going into Law before meeting her.

that's enough context. Now to the meet of the matter, sorry if reading this is a pain.

Last year, before my wife and I were married and just dating, I used heroin for about 6 months. I had always felt in my gut, that in the end the ultimate purpose of a human life was to find God/be with God....and then Act, that life was never about the money but for Love and Truth. That changed when I married my wife... and the whole careerist side in me which was latent from an Asian background (Singapore) came out, because my love for her and consequent responsibility to look after her took precedence.

The last day I abused H last year, I tried mushrooms. And experienced the ("Sit down and listen...or else") side of Mushrooms that LSD has lacked in my experience. That day Mother Nature literally sat me down and shut me up and when I accepted she taught me what a mess I was making of my life, how poisoned I had become. It was traumatic, and the fire of WANT was there. The next day I quit CT and went to the hospital with withdrawals. Placed into detox and meditated and prayed. And I came out of it with immense peace and understanding and ultimately purpose which lasted a time, I was so happy being substance free.

Fast forward a year later and after a few personal failures, self-contempt, I'm in a position where I have been using H for the last 4 months, but this time...the WANT to quit is not present. I coldly calculated that this was the time to quit based on my uni break...I went to the doc who firmly stated it was suboxone--->subutex---->injections for me and that was the only way. And here I am, a week away from the shot and I really don't WANT to quit.

My life has always been one where the WANT has prevailed...I believe that people will do whatever they WANT to do, and that's the end of it. I also believe that things are fated and each period of one's life is there at the right time for the right reasons.

So tell me, If anyone bothered to read this far and thank you for doing so, I don't want to quit, not like I did before...I think that I can keep things on the right path even if I keep using, what's going to become of me? What became of you?

Is every case really different? Or does it all end in misery and despair having lost everything to the dragon? Is this a road that will be paved with regret?

Ill tell you a little about my story;

Back in the 90s and early 2000 the amp, xtc and coke were from superior quality then today.

I abused those 3 drugs, at first only amp and x in weekends but then I snorted coke and it was instant bye bye x and amp and my snorting lead to many yrs of 6g a day...

Then one time I had minor wd from some weeks of h3, h4 and oxy use, after that I never let myself become physically addictive, I switched to a year of drinking 3 bottles of wodka a day pure, developed chronic pancreatitis after some accute attacks from which the dr told my mom I was not going to make it.

Then I was a year addicted to crystal meth, two week binge, one week sleep and eat and repeat, I had quite some muscles, strong bones and am definitely not small so it was shocking that at the end I only was 52kg...

Then I had a severe benzo addiction, I took 38 pills different ones each day, was able to quit that on my own with the help of red bali kratom!

Then I smoked a lot of hasjisj and weed.

Then I was two yrs clean and that saved me, now I smoke only once a week 1 g basecoke, smoke every two weeks hasjisj, every few months, like right now I do an amp binge and only valium I take 9 pills daily to get rid of cravings... I am extremely happy this way and see no reason to change anything!

Some problems I struggle with are ocd, panic attacks, stress, ptsd and Im an extreme over thinker.

I also have responsabilities in my life but I have not one single not even tiny problem with that.

Im very ambitious, maybe in an unrealistic way most ppl say, cause I was not like Im just going to be good, no I was like Im going to change history, and even now after a major setback, I still want to change history, you see I had a post doc classical piano and gave concerts even in halls like de salle de pleyel in Paris which is world famous, but due to severe chronic tendinitis in wrists and fingers I had to start from scratch with something else, I now already have a master in philosophy for a while and turned down the chance to get my phd, maybe I simply must get that chance back?

I had many party and drugs friends but they dont last, now Im making quite some money in some different ways but all illegal, which makes me know a lot of ppl but only have two real friends...

Anyway, my point was that Im able to function on the highest level, and I bust my balls to do so!

I hope my story helped you a bit?

Cheers friend.

 

[perséfone]

Hey, man.

Have you thought about taking another mushroom trip?

I ask not because last time they brought you to sobriety, but because you have many philosophical questions about your own life.

 

[burn out]

Hey everyone, long-term lurker here, who wanted some views from people who have experienced far more than I have. I want to give you some context for this question, I understand that not everybody's experience is the same, but if someone can understand where I'm coming from, I would want to hear what they would be so kind to share.

I know I have ADHD (inattentive), it's been diagnosed. I've always been distracted, impulsive and lonely since I was a teen and ironically it was when I was trying to get a script for vyvanse (trying to get legal drugs) I actually seriously considered my history, personality and I realised I did check all the boxes - starkly.

I've been on meth (small amounts) for the last year and heroin (0.05 to 0.1 daily) for the last four months. I am currently on subuxone and on ORT awaiting a suboclade injection (3 shots over 3 months) to get off heroin.

I'm 25 M Asian-Australian, In my life I have two major commitments: My wife and Law school of which I have finished a my 1st year with fairly good grades.

Ice and Heroin has been my combo of choice, it's readily available in my area and I can tend to my commitments efficiently and fairly easily like being and taking care of the wife, law school and tending to our apartment with this habit. Ice to get the ole machine ticking and heroin to keep it even and cool. Hell, it was an incredibly gratifying feeling to finish off my Major Assignment on the two drugs and receive a Distinction. The main thing is my wife though, I really really do love her and my studies in the end are to get into a position to earn a bloodton of money to support her and her aspirations...I never considered going into Law before meeting her.

that's enough context. Now to the meet of the matter, sorry if reading this is a pain.

Last year, before my wife and I were married and just dating, I used heroin for about 6 months. I had always felt in my gut, that in the end the ultimate purpose of a human life was to find God/be with God....and then Act, that life was never about the money but for Love and Truth. That changed when I married my wife... and the whole careerist side in me which was latent from an Asian background (Singapore) came out, because my love for her and consequent responsibility to look after her took precedence.

The last day I abused H last year, I tried mushrooms. And experienced the ("Sit down and listen...or else") side of Mushrooms that LSD has lacked in my experience. That day Mother Nature literally sat me down and shut me up and when I accepted she taught me what a mess I was making of my life, how poisoned I had become. It was traumatic, and the fire of WANT was there. The next day I quit CT and went to the hospital with withdrawals. Placed into detox and meditated and prayed. And I came out of it with immense peace and understanding and ultimately purpose which lasted a time, I was so happy being substance free.

Fast forward a year later and after a few personal failures, self-contempt, I'm in a position where I have been using H for the last 4 months, but this time...the WANT to quit is not present. I coldly calculated that this was the time to quit based on my uni break...I went to the doc who firmly stated it was suboxone--->subutex---->injections for me and that was the only way. And here I am, a week away from the shot and I really don't WANT to quit.

My life has always been one where the WANT has prevailed...I believe that people will do whatever they WANT to do, and that's the end of it. I also believe that things are fated and each period of one's life is there at the right time for the right reasons.

So tell me, If anyone bothered to read this far and thank you for doing so, I don't want to quit, not like I did before...I think that I can keep things on the right path even if I keep using, what's going to become of me? What became of you?

Is every case really different? Or does it all end in misery and despair having lost everything to the dragon? Is this a road that will be paved with regret?

Every case is different but the amount of people who use heroin long term and don't end up regretting is very small. It's certainly possible to lead a productive life on opiates, but the legal status and cost (plus the recent fentanyl problem) all make it very difficult. Even if you succeed, generally after some years, opiates will stop feeling so good and just be a huge burden that detracts from your life in many ways until you finally decide to quit. That's how the trap works, at first opiates make you feel really good and seemingly have relatively few side effects or negative effects on health, however years later the good feelings fade and the negative effects become apparent and one realizes they have made an error in judgement.

My advice would be to save yourself the trouble and just quit now. If you feel like you need some sort of mind altering substance, try to train yourself to enjoy substances that can be integrated into a healthy lifestyle, of which heroin and meth are generally not. For example, if you need pain and anxiety relief you could try small doses of things like kratom and kava. Coca leaves, tea, coffee and cocao are all natural stimulants that are much safer than kratom. There are many other herbs from nature that can be used to support mental and physical health in various ways. In your post you mentioned learning from the spirit of nature when you took mushrooms. My advice would be to learn how to reconnect with that spirit through the use of natural substances which seem to be put here to help us, as opposed to man made substances like heroin and meth which tend to result in very bad outcomes for most people when used long term.

 

[burn out]

Hey, man.

Have you thought about taking another mushroom trip?

I ask not because last time they brought you to sobriety, but because you have many philosophical questions about your own life.

That might be a good idea, however it's always a gamble and my recommendation would be to make the changes to his life that he resolved to make after his last trip but then fell away from before tripping again. I don't believe psychedelics should be used for motivation. That is, if you know what you need to do, first do it and then trip. Don't trip hoping the mushrooms will give you the motivation to quit heroin or whatever when you already got the message on your last trip that you should quit. That's just my opinion as someone who tried to use psychedelics for motivation many times.

 

[perséfone]

If you feel like you need some sort of mind altering substance, try to train yourself to enjoy substances that can be integrated into a healthy lifestyle, of which heroin and meth are generally not. For example, if you need pain and anxiety relief you could try small doses of things like kratom and kava. Coca leaves, tea, coffee and cocao are all natural stimulants that are much safer than kratom. There are many other herbs from nature that can be used to support mental and physical health in various ways. In your post you mentioned learning from the spirit of nature when you took mushrooms. My advice would be to learn how to reconnect with that spirit through the use of natural substances which seem to be put here to help us, as opposed to man made substances like heroin and meth which tend to result in very bad outcomes for most people when used long term.

Awesome advice!

 

[Pgb]

My friend, I too have been unable unwilling to stop. I won't bother with the details of which substances. There's been many over my 60 years
I wish I could be more positive but my only advice at this crossroads is try to reconsider the horrible consequences that are society heaps on us make life so difficult. So many doors are slammed in our faces so many things become off limits to us so many impossible hurdles are put in our way a few things I do want to make sure I'm clear on. In my opinion it's much less the drug use and much more society's methods punishment for that drug use that are actually the root cause of the largest majority of the suffering second, it's not your fault. If you're anything like me and it sounds like you might be, I don't know that I could give up using anymore than I could give up. Hunger or the will to survive. People talk a lot about choices we make I don't remember making those choices. I just did. Maybe I'm a person of weak moral fiber. Maybe I'm a bad person. I don't know. The third thing is that it doesn't really matter whose fault because we have to live in their world and they are going to make it a living hell I was always happiest at the party in my life. I still am but it's a high price to pay a very high price I wish you the very best of luck my friend because I wouldn't want to wish the path that I've had to walk on anyone

 

[DementedDiurnal]

Hey, man.

Have you thought about taking another mushroom trip?

I ask not because last time they brought you to sobriety, but because you have many philosophical questions about your own life.

Every case is different but the amount of people who use heroin long term and don't end up regretting is very small. It's certainly possible to lead a productive life on opiates, but the legal status and cost (plus the recent fentanyl problem) all make it very difficult. Even if you succeed, generally after some years, opiates will stop feeling so good and just be a huge burden that detracts from your life in many ways until you finally decide to quit. That's how the trap works, at first opiates make you feel really good and seemingly have relatively few side effects or negative effects on health, however years later the good feelings fade and the negative effects become apparent and one realizes they have made an error in judgement.

My advice would be to save yourself the trouble and just quit now. If you feel like you need some sort of mind altering substance, try to train yourself to enjoy substances that can be integrated into a healthy lifestyle, of which heroin and meth are generally not. For example, if you need pain and anxiety relief you could try small doses of things like kratom and kava. Coca leaves, tea, coffee and cocao are all natural stimulants that are much safer than kratom. There are many other herbs from nature that can be used to support mental and physical health in various ways. In your post you mentioned learning from the spirit of nature when you took mushrooms. My advice would be to learn how to reconnect with that spirit through the use of natural substances which seem to be put here to help us, as opposed to man made substances like heroin and meth which tend to result in very bad outcomes for most people when used long term.

I had a teacher who taught me meditation, philosophy and English literature - I studied these things intensively for three years particularly with respect to application in everyday life. The mushroom trip made me "turn back" to God, there was a strong message as well...which was that Heroin was poison and that my life was meant for a greater purpose.

This was one of the reasons why I married my wife. She's an immigrant from China, with a son from another partner. I thought I my purpose was to give her a good life, in essence, to serve. It all happened in a timely fashion, things escalated in our relationship when there was a window of receptiveness on my part, when I was clean and sober - meditating everyday.

Now I find it hard to turn to God. There's ambition in me now, a need to strive for more...A sense of "real-life" responsibility.

When I came out of detox and was meditating three times a day I experienced so much peace, fulfilment that is found within profound acceptance. That all was good and meant to be. Joy in each passing moment. But it was a period in my life. That fire that was there has been lost...

One of the conclusions I came to during that period...and I never was much of a determinist...was that each period of lostness, despair, ambition, pride..whatever it may be, it is there for a reason. The story already written. "As it was in the beginning, it is now, and forever will be."


So the lessons I gained from that mushroom trip still are with me, just not overtly or explicitly. Or it could just be me deluding myself?

 

[DementedDiurnal]

My friend, I too have been unable unwilling to stop. I won't bother with the details of which substances. There's been many over my 60 years
I wish I could be more positive but my only advice at this crossroads is try to reconsider the horrible consequences that are society heaps on us make life so difficult. So many doors are slammed in our faces so many things become off limits to us so many impossible hurdles are put in our way a few things I do want to make sure I'm clear on. In my opinion it's much less the drug use and much more society's methods punishment for that drug use that are actually the root cause of the largest majority of the suffering second, it's not your fault. If you're anything like me and it sounds like you might be, I don't know that I could give up using anymore than I could give up. Hunger or the will to survive. People talk a lot about choices we make I don't remember making those choices. I just did. Maybe I'm a person of weak moral fiber. Maybe I'm a bad person. I don't know. The third thing is that it doesn't really matter whose fault because we have to live in their world and they are going to make it a living hell I was always happiest at the party in my life. I still am but it's a high price to pay a very high price I wish you the very best of luck my friend because I wouldn't want to wish the path that I've had to walk on anyone

Thank you friend, for your thoughtful comment.

I'm experiencing what you're saying now when voicing my reluctance to go and have the injection to my wife. She told me: "you're my husband. I don't want to look at you like that." I got into an argument with the chemist when he insisted on seeing the subutex fully dissolved in my mouth... Addicts are not understood, just judged - however well intentioned or ignorant the judgement manifests.

But then again, I don't expect my wife to understand the minutia of why I would rather take methamphetamine rather than vyvanse (I only take a tiny dose of meth a $50 bag lasting me several weeks) because the vyvanse is so heavy on the body. I have ADHD both medications work, but the Vyvanse has little societal prejudice attached to it...whereas meth is "Meth".

Re: what you said about choices as well...and moral fiber...I totally relate to that. I used to believe that "I was the Captain of my Destiny". But that intense period of spirituality in my life carried an unspoken message that I felt daily - that, "things are as they are...perfectly." Even still, I question myself as to my own moral fiber...whether it is weakness or karma. Circumstances, motivation, changes...these things change often times through no control of our own and if we did affect change, why was the kindling of motivation their to affect it at this point....and not then?


In the end, I did take the sublocade injection today, I will let myself be carried on this stream that my wife and my doctor seem to be insistent on and see where it goes.

Thank you and all the best.

 

[DementedDiurnal]

Every case is different but the amount of people who use heroin long term and don't end up regretting is very small. It's certainly possible to lead a productive life on opiates, but the legal status and cost (plus the recent fentanyl problem) all make it very difficult. Even if you succeed, generally after some years, opiates will stop feeling so good and just be a huge burden that detracts from your life in many ways until you finally decide to quit. That's how the trap works, at first opiates make you feel really good and seemingly have relatively few side effects or negative effects on health, however years later the good feelings fade and the negative effects become apparent and one realizes they have made an error in judgement.

My advice would be to save yourself the trouble and just quit now. If you feel like you need some sort of mind altering substance, try to train yourself to enjoy substances that can be integrated into a healthy lifestyle, of which heroin and meth are generally not. For example, if you need pain and anxiety relief you could try small doses of things like kratom and kava. Coca leaves, tea, coffee and cocao are all natural stimulants that are much safer than kratom. There are many other herbs from nature that can be used to support mental and physical health in various ways. In your post you mentioned learning from the spirit of nature when you took mushrooms. My advice would be to learn how to reconnect with that spirit through the use of natural substances which seem to be put here to help us, as opposed to man made substances like heroin and meth which tend to result in very bad outcomes for most people when used long term.

Thank you for your nuanced perspective.

What struck me is what you laid out as the common trajectory for H users, "after a few years." As If I could see my future leading to a dead end.

I ended up getting the sublocade injection although reluctantly, being off H hasn't been so bad... so we'll see.

The phrasing of "Spirit of Nature" also is striking, during that mushroom trip I had the distinct sense of "coming into contact" with an entity... A motherly entity, guiding me. Judging from how you write, this must not at all be a unique experience.

 

[DementedDiurnal]

Hey, man.

Have you thought about taking another mushroom trip?

I ask not because last time they brought you to sobriety, but because you have many philosophical questions about your own life.

That might be a good idea, however it's always a gamble and my recommendation would be to make the changes to his life that he resolved to make after his last trip but then fell away from before tripping again. I don't believe psychedelics should be used for motivation. That is, if you know what you need to do, first do it and then trip. Don't trip hoping the mushrooms will give you the motivation to quit heroin or whatever when you already got the message on your last trip that you should quit. That's just my opinion as someone who tried to use psychedelics for motivation many times.

The mushroom trip was traumatic...up until the point where I decided to stop struggling against it. When I just accepted, certain things about my life were made clear or "revealed to me."

After that experience, I felt the presence of God daily in my meditations and then... imbued in my waking everyday life. I didn't feel the need to go back to shrooms or any psychedelics..the end result was He was there in all things, in every moment. "And everything is/was going to be OK." The Great Consolation.

 

[DementedDiurnal]

Ill tell you a little about my story;

Back in the 90s and early 2000 the amp, xtc and coke were from superior quality then today.

I abused those 3 drugs, at first only amp and x in weekends but then I snorted coke and it was instant bye bye x and amp and my snorting lead to many yrs of 6g a day...

Then one time I had minor wd from some weeks of h3, h4 and oxy use, after that I never let myself become physically addictive, I switched to a year of drinking 3 bottles of wodka a day pure, developed chronic pancreatitis after some accute attacks from which the dr told my mom I was not going to make it.

Then I was a year addicted to crystal meth, two week binge, one week sleep and eat and repeat, I had quite some muscles, strong bones and am definitely not small so it was shocking that at the end I only was 52kg...

Then I had a severe benzo addiction, I took 38 pills different ones each day, was able to quit that on my own with the help of red bali kratom!

Then I smoked a lot of hasjisj and weed.

Then I was two yrs clean and that saved me, now I smoke only once a week 1 g basecoke, smoke every two weeks hasjisj, every few months, like right now I do an amp binge and only valium I take 9 pills daily to get rid of cravings... I am extremely happy this way and see no reason to change anything!

Some problems I struggle with are ocd, panic attacks, stress, ptsd and Im an extreme over thinker.

I also have responsabilities in my life but I have not one single not even tiny problem with that.

Im very ambitious, maybe in an unrealistic way most ppl say, cause I was not like Im just going to be good, no I was like Im going to change history, and even now after a major setback, I still want to change history, you see I had a post doc classical piano and gave concerts even in halls like de salle de pleyel in Paris which is world famous, but due to severe chronic tendinitis in wrists and fingers I had to start from scratch with something else, I now already have a master in philosophy for a while and turned down the chance to get my phd, maybe I simply must get that chance back?

I had many party and drugs friends but they dont last, now Im making quite some money in some different ways but all illegal, which makes me know a lot of ppl but only have two real friends...

Anyway, my point was that Im able to function on the highest level, and I bust my balls to do so!

I hope my story helped you a bit?

Cheers friend.

Thanks for your reply. This is quite the journey.

When I write or undertake any project in the Arts, academic or otherwise - I know I will miss not being jacked to the tits on H and Meth and Benzos. I love the feeling of being completely immersed in an artistic pursuit.

The past stints I've had with drugs and the relapses show me that...yes, it is possible to live your life and be high all the time. But like Burn Out said, for me I can very easily see the trajectory he laid out being the case for me.

In any case, I just got my subuclade injection..not saying that this will be the end of my dalliance with Lady H, but for the next 3 months it certainly will be. Or maybe for good...who knows? I sure AF don't hahah.

Also God seems to have gifted you with some talents. I hope you enjoy your life to the utmost in your pursuits and congratulations!