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Recovery I've Quit Meth (again)

Jabberwocky

Jabberwocky

Frumious Bandersnatch
Joined
Nov 3, 1999
Messages
84,998
Going on the record here that I'm quitting IV meth (and meth altogether) cold turkey. Last hit was three days ago when I polished off 2 grams in 2 days and overamped myself into sleep. When I woke up I fed myself valium and stayed in bed for 2 days only to get up and walk to the dog each morning at 6:30 (which gave me hope I was still salvagable). Three days after last hit I have no cravings but am in a filthy mood and avoiding other people lest I say things I will inevitably regret. Unfortunately there is a lot of negative family stuff (actually unrelated to my meth use) going on that I need to deal with in a calm measured way - which is an incentive to quit but also an incentive to take just enough to keep calm and measured.

My recovery regime is exercise twice a day, lots of high protein food, endless liquids, 20 mg Abilify a day and prescribed d-amphetamine (which is probably what is keeping cravings at bay). Valium now just for emergencies if I get overpowered by negative feelings / anger etc.
 
Good job, your body and brain will definitely be thanking you once you recover! Are you planning on staying away from it?
 
Congratulations again! It's "Give Your Brain a Break Week". I'll be sending you good vibes but you'll need some grit (from your local farm supply) and total commitment, (found at your local loony bin).
Seriously, pound the commitment in your mind and the brain will eventually quit chattering. You can do this.
 
tukabirdy said:
Congratulations again! It's "Give Your Brain a Break Week". I'll be sending you good vibes but you'll need some grit (from your local farm supply) and total commitment, (found at your local loony bin).
Seriously, pound the commitment in your mind and the brain will eventually quit chattering. You can do this.
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Thanks for the advice and encouragement. Things going well so far but I feel those cravings starting to creep up on me. Fortunately I’ve started a fair bit of exercise which keeps them at bay I think.
 
Yeah, that will help! I'm jealous; I haven't been able to run in many years. I have other ways to exercise but running is our best feature as humans. Do you jog or run?
 
tukabirdy said:
Yeah, that will help! I'm jealous; I haven't been able to run in many years. I have other ways to exercise but running is our best feature as humans. Do you jog or run?
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I started as a small group training club - basically doing high intensity circuits of different exercises. Good for cardio and strength. That and walking the dog.
 
Barry.jpg This is one of my puppies. I love Pomeranians but not the tiny ones. What kind of pup did you get? I needs me a new puppy!!
 
tukabirdy said:
View attachment 21618 This is one of my puppies. I love Pomeranians but not the tiny ones. What kind of pup did you get? I needs me a new puppy!!
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My puppy is just a happy and intelligent mutt - very playful and a lover of long walks. She is great for recovery because she demands to be walked first at 6 AM and that gets me out of bed with no time to let depression or anxiety set in early for the day. Starting the day caring for something and being active sets up the rest of the day nicely. A better start than shooting up a few points of meth for sure.
 
Busted: that didn’t take long. Let’s hope its just a random accident as i really don’t want to go back into rehab.

A guy whose number i have now blocked called me up to tell me he’d found the strongest meth I’d ever try. I fought it off all day, dropping valium and other things but in the end I had to know: he was almost right (the bastard).

i think I need to confide in some real world people I’m having a problem. Fighting my demons in secret is shockingly hard work.
 
Atelier3 said:
Busted: that didn’t take long.

i think I need to confide in some real world people I’m having a problem. Fighting my demons in secret is shockingly hard work.
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It's a big step to OUT yourself, but if you want some results, you almost have to do it. I let my family know after xmas that I'm struggling with my OXY taper. I've always managed to do this on my own but FUCK, it gets harder every time. I hope this is my last rollercoaster ride. I'm sick of counting pills. I almost had it done after xmas using some sub to bridge...but the wreckage to my brain would have been massive.
So....I'm going to chip off a pill every week. Last week was 240, right now, it's 180....Freddy the FUCKER is screaming in my ear. But fuck him, I'm doing this.
 
tukabirdy said:
It's a big step to OUT yourself, but if you want some results, you almost have to do it. I let my family know after xmas that I'm struggling with my OXY taper. I've always managed to do this on my own but FUCK, it gets harder every time. I hope this is my last rollercoaster ride. I'm sick of counting pills. I almost had it done after xmas using some sub to bridge...but the wreckage to my brain would have been massive.
So....I'm going to chip off a pill every week. Last week was 240, right now, it's 180....Freddy the FUCKER is screaming in my ear. But fuck him, I'm doing this.
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Good luck too @tukabirdy. Tapering pills is hard work - as is cold turkey when it comes to meth. I owned up to my family this week that I was back on meth but working hard to stay off it. It was such a blessed relief to tell them. All I got back was love and support and some sensible thoughts about how one bust - or even a few - takes much away from a generally upward trajectory in life. Shame is such a killer and probably keeps more people on drugs in the long term than aids them in their recovery.
 
Atelier3 said:
Planning on never touching it again
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Welcome in the club! I was using different stimulants for about 3 years and in the middle of this time period I discovered meth... Even though I don't react to it like most people (barely any euphoria) I was still using it with small breaks for almost a year and a half. Just a few weeks ago I realized using stims was like taking a loan from a bank, you borrow lots of norepinephrine and dopamine but sooner or later you'll have to sort of give them back... Pay the price.. 1 day of fun can mean 2 or 3 days with bad mood. And after longer heavy use you can feel weak, sleepy, tired or pissed for many days. Now, instead of moments of feeling great and high and then hours of feeling down, I enjoy 24 hours a day a life with no such ups and downs. I hope you're experiencing it already and bad days are past you!
 
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MindSeeker said:
Welcome in the club! I was using different stimulants for about 3 years and in the middle of this time period I discovered meth... Even though I don't react to it like most people (barely any euphoria) I was still using it with small breaks for almost a year and a half. Just a few weeks ago I realized using stims was like taking a loan from a bank, you borrow lofs of norpeinephrine and dopamine but sooner or later you'll have to sort of give them back... Pay the price.. 1 day of fun can mean 2 or 3 days with bad mood. And after longer heavy use you can feel weak, sleepy, tired or pisses for many days. Now, instead of moments of feeling great and high and then hours of feeling down, I enjoy 24 hours a day a life with no such ups and downs. I hope you're experiencing it already and bad days are past you!
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Yep. I think I am over the worst and I agree with your assessment of what meth use is like.

thanks
 
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