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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | Eligiu | deficiT | paranoid android

Sad I've gotta go on maintainance

ConeyIslandBaby

ConeyIslandBaby

Ex-Bluelighter
Joined
Oct 2, 2022
Messages
149
I've resisted going on maintenance for years. I felt better off in my cycle of using and cleaning up and then using again. I think I have to accept there is no choice. Street drugs are so dangerous and I got there so fast this time. Sitting here trying to get up the energy to make a few phone calls and do it. Fuck.
 
I went into maintenance because I needed to stay out of legal trouble, to avoid jail time. I guess this comes with a similar quality as in your case, being an extern force which makes you to consider maintenance. I think it depends on what clinic you go and what professionals you meet, I was quite free about the dosage (both in up and down) and they even gave me other drugs like stimulants for my adult ADHD and benzodiazepines when needed. The problem was that I got much more addicted to the opioids once I was doing them in a constant, daily dosage. More so with methadone than with XR morphine but as I understand it, the states don't offer XR morphine. There's away out though, dissociatives can lower tolerance of opioids and be of great aid when tapering down. I quit my 600mg/d morphine with the disso memantine once I moved to my gf in another country and realized that here it won't be so easy to get on maintenance again and didn't want to visit them every day just to get my meds (before I had to go weekly but was free to take vacances for travel at any time for max. 4 weeks at a time).

Wish you the best of luck, and keep us posted about how's it going!
 
Maintenance and kratom have probably saved my life. Never had to take Methadone. But yeah the stuff out there is lethal at the moment, so please do consider maintenance. It's not awful, you're just able to feel normal. I'm even at the point now where I only have the occasional kratom drink, or a 2mg Suboxone every few days as I taper down and I truly feel like I'm freeing myself from the physical addiction. I last used dope and overdosed a year ago.
 
deficiT said:
Maintenance and kratom have probably saved my life. Never had to take Methadone. But yeah the stuff out there is lethal at the moment, so please do consider maintenance. It's not awful, you're just able to feel normal. I'm even at the point now where I only have the occasional kratom drink, or a 2mg Suboxone every few days as I taper down and I truly feel like I'm freeing myself from the physical addiction. I last used dope and overdosed a year ago.
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I think I could probably manage that. I know I would use on top of methadone...over the years I've lost more than a few friends from methadone plus heroin. I can't stay clean. Two weeks into what was meant to be occasional usage, you know, a 'treat', a 'vacation', and I am already back on street 'oxy', which is just fent. Even the tar seems to be at least mostly fent. I wont survive at this rate and I've shit to do and people to look after. I have got to get this under control.
 
Get on the 'done, start smoking weed if you have to. I've been going to the clinic for 8 years, it's been rough, it's been annoying, but not half as rough or annoying as a single year on dope. And that was in the pre-fetty days, too.
 
I finally admitted being on bupi after failing and relapsing too many times.
The time spent on dope is really just a waste of time
Now people say I am 'stable':oops:
I don't particularly see it that way, but my fam, fiancee, friends, church and boss say so
So I'm going to go on their word.
You can do it!
 
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