This was August of 2015. I bought an ounce and finished it all. I’m still all fucked up, which is why I’ve given up hope of ever being cured or normal. It’s so sad, and probably one of the worst feelings in the world. It feels like a death sentence and I feel like I should be hitting “yes” when jobs ask you if you have a disability. I don’t think there’s any hope for me. Everyone says I’ve gotten better since I went thru drug induced psychosis, but that’s probably just me growing, maturing, and evolving with age.
I’d love to hear more about how you guys got away from undiagnosed schizophrenia. I do have a little glimmer of a whisper telling me I won’t be like this forever, but it’s soo hard to believe. I don’t really see any progress in my mind. That post you wrote does give me some hope, though. That helped a lot. Lol
what I fear the most is that my drug induced psychosis landed into permanent schizophrenia, and it gets me so down. I’m still actively looking every day for alternatives to treatment, to possibly regrow these brain cells I fried. I take medication sometimes but there has to be a better way. I’m convinced. There has to. But I’ve perused every forum and every website and can’t find anything except for little mushroomelixers like lions mane. I honestly feel like I need stem cell treatment in my brain to maybe get back what I’ve lost, but it’s like 13,000$.
I'm guessing you are fairly young?
Using at a young age can be a double edged sword- the brain is still developing so it can interrupt some important phenomenon. The other side is that if one enters recovery at a young age, he/she has a much high chance of recovering fully, as the brain is still developing.
I've met many, including myself who have used far more than that, some in a day, and have since recovered from negative side effects. Heavy drug use will certainly fuck with your psyche, but fear of being crazy has a sort of paradoxixal effect, where worrying about being crazy can make you "crazy'/have an episode.
Personally, I'd avoid all supplements except maybe multivitamin, fish oil, and protein if needed. If you are that desperate to try those expensive treatments, I'd suggest first trying 30 min mild aerobic exercised 4-7/week. Besides that, ensure you are getting all your essential amino acids and basic nutritional needs.
On top of that, therapy can help, but self-care can go a long way. Take time to meditate and stretch. Blog or journal if it helps you keep track of your thoughts. Discover new passions, hopes, dreams, and goals. Write them down, pick some to get serious about. Spend time reading and doing activities that require conscious concentration. Wake and sleep times should stay constant 7 days a week.
My point is, one of the triggers for an episode is stress, worry, and fear. There are a lot of things you can be doing to ensure that these worries are unjustified by taking proactive care of yourself. It's a struggle, and it's not easy. Having family who somewhat understands and will help support you during this time, creating a safe space, may help a lot, as you allow yourself to readjust.
Before or when you start to worry, ask yourself- how long has it been? and what have I been doing today, this past week, month, etc, to be bettering myself? Maybe you need some time to heal and destress, and allow your body to readjust to it's "normal". And some mental illnesses qualify as a disability. If it is that serious, that could be an option.
