It’s over

[funeralfather]

A long standing relationship some of u guys know is over idk what I expect to gain. I understand things get better, but i am unsure how to live without living in the darkness. It feels like I’ll never be able to make music again .. sadly. The anger is gone

 

[ageingpartyfiend]

A long standing relationship some of u guys know is over idk what I expect to gain. I understand things get better, but i am unsure how to live without living in the darkness. It feels like I’ll never be able to make music again .. sadly. The anger is gone

you've done it before, and you can do it again for sure

 

[Lil'LinaptkSix]

Was just talkin to a dude about this kinda thing the other day.
I was all yeah its a dark place but we see rays of light and chase em; soon as we almost get to one its somewhere else.
Seems designed to me and always at a loss.
I look for purpose daily but it all comes to chores basically. I dont mind gives me something to do/focus on. Details.

woluld so love to find that inner peace....

 

[Opana313]

Yeah same here. Currently sitting in my car wondering who to bother to couch surf tonight so I actually get some rest for work tomorrow..

I shouldn't be kicked out anyway, my mail still comes there. But when it comes down to it and all the bs it's like fuck I'll be gone then.

It's even worse in the morning, trying to pull yourself together to make another 8-10hr day knowing you are so depressed you would rather sit around and not do shit except I dont know heal?

But darkest part is the very young kiddos that I passionately love, I know they missing me around. Shit fucking sucks especially if you are not made of money and cant just up and leave to a new place and start your "new life"

 

[Jen X]

I'm sorry @Opana313 ,I'd let you use my spare room. A few years ago I slept in my car for 2 weeks and had work. Definitely sucks, I hope it gets better soon.

@funeralfather I don't know what is going on but wish you the best

To you both remember how down you feel isn't permanent and will get better

 

[Opana313]

Thank you for the kind words, I am working on trying to mend and heal this whole predicament because even though I fucked up my finances, even this is temporary and can be figured out. I mean that's one problem, the other issues is her thinking I lack compassion and don't care for her, which is dead wrong.

So I'm going to show up and try to stay, at least hopefully be able to visit the kids and talk to her. Love hurts.

 

[Opana313]

@funeralfather

Sorry for jumping in on your thread man, I thought maybe we would talk, either way definitely caring folks in the BL community. I feel your pain, I've been through this many times, which begs the question are we better off apart? I don't think so. Lord knows I was pissed in the beginning and was trying to face the facts of moving on, but after about 2 weeks of hell, I realized how much love I have for this beautiful lady and in reality she has every right to be pissed
but I guess her making me leave without proper preparation/30 days is what got me heated..and probably seemed to her as if I gave up which in the start yes, it takes a lot for me to finally be like fine it's over and I was very close. But now regret.

Hopefully better days soon for us both.