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Is this my last acid trip and does it teach you stuff or is it just bullshit?

Xorkoth said:
It's been a process that took basically my entire twenties, but I feel like the luckiest guy in the world to live the way I do.
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Hey man, as someone in his early twenties struggling to find a sense of fulfillment, I find your words very encouraging!
 
I am/was in the same boat. I've had no real friends growing up, and I've been bullied a lot. Loving family, but at that age you can't really appreciate that for what it is. Eventually I sortof found my way in life, I thought, made some true friends, and trodded on. Even managed to get a girlfriend later on, and that was also a good life experience, even though it ended with her dumping me after 4 years and having another guy within a week. Had a lot of support from my friends during that time.
But, deep down, I still had super low confidence and trust issues, and eventually this triggered a few severe bad trips, where I felt useless, as if I was 'living wrong', my life felt so pointless and worthless for a few hours I had very real thoughts of suicide & horrible anxiety.
But again, my friends pulled me through, one friend in particular managed to break through my trust issue, kept telling me how good of a guy I am, and at some point during the trip I couldn't do anything else but just believe him, and I could finally let go of my anxiety, and tell myself 'my friend will take care of me' and let that actually happen. This was very liberating, and while the bad part of the trip stuck with me for a few days before fading away, the good feelings persisted.
I now feel reborn, as if I've been living restricted for my whole life (maybe I was depressed without realizing it?), and I can fully enjoy life, my friends, family, my job even. Since then I've done only half a tab once, and I felt the anxiety/guilt lurking, but immediately talked about it with my buddies, and again worked through it and incorporated that into my life in the following weeks. In my every day life, almost everything is positive, even the occasional dark thoughts I can deal with by myself without getting all worked up. I've grown a lot closer with my parents too, I had a few good long talks about the past & how much I care about them and how grateful I am for all the things they did for me. They know about my psychedelic use, and while they were sortof against it (but they trusted my good judgement) they also see how much the drugs combined with my friends have helped me, and are truly happy for me.
I'll be tripping on 1 tab in a few weeks, I'm looking forward to it, I see it as a sort of test for my personal mental health. But I know my friends will be there with me, as they always have, and I fully trust them.

/wall of text, that was more then I intended to write, lol. TL,DR dare to live for yourself, love yourself & your close ones, Godspeed!
 
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