CertainShadeOfGrey
Greenlighter
- Joined
- May 13, 2017
- Messages
- 2
Long story--I deal with chronic pain. I've got fibromyalgia, psoriatic arthritis, osteoarthritis (primarily in my back and knees), and severe scoliosis. Basically I have won the genetic lottery of shitty health problems. I'm disabled from this, finally won my SSDI case a couple years back. So SSDI means I'm pretty broke financially too.
Long story somewhat shorter, after months of fighting to get into a new pain management clinic after my old one shut down with 0 notice (25,000+ patients left without access to their meds overnight, look up "Seattle Pain Center shut down") I'm in one again.
...And the bastards have tapered me down to 2 oxy a day ("3 every other day," said the doctor with a smile, "you just need to learn to manage better!"), leaving me with a majority of my days in pain. I'm lucky if I can cook a meal or take a shower; I've had to quit anything that I did for the joy of doing something other than lie in bed all day, every day. This is not withdrawal, it's pure pain, and it's been 2+ months now.
And after 3 years of the same medication the resistance is high--and I have no choice because when I asked to change they put me on the morphine equivalent of a half dose (of dilaudid) of what I'm on now, at 2x a day. It's insane. These people are all insane. And they all treat me like an addict, not a legitimate patient. It's infuriating.
I'm not even allowed to take cbd capsules or smoke medically even though I have a card and MJ is legal in my state. This shit clinic forbids it in their contract. The only thing I have to try and help myself LIVE is Kratom (because they don't test for it and I damn well don't tell them about it.)
Problem is, Kratom tastes horrible. Toss and wash is basically toss and barf with me. I have SUPER sensitive taste. So far the only way I have found to get it down is to mix it in vast quantities of mango flavored orange juice, and I can't get enough in me to do much about the pain for long. (I'm also diabetic so I'm slowly murdering myself with nasty orange juice every time, the sugar content makes me instantly sick...) I don't know if I'm taking the wrong strain, not enough, or what, but I'm desperate to find a way to make this Kratom stuff work for me. It's the only alternative I seem to have anymore, and I can't afford to buy tons of the capsules--its gotta be done the hard way.
Any advice for a desperate, painful, cranky lady?
Long story somewhat shorter, after months of fighting to get into a new pain management clinic after my old one shut down with 0 notice (25,000+ patients left without access to their meds overnight, look up "Seattle Pain Center shut down") I'm in one again.
...And the bastards have tapered me down to 2 oxy a day ("3 every other day," said the doctor with a smile, "you just need to learn to manage better!"), leaving me with a majority of my days in pain. I'm lucky if I can cook a meal or take a shower; I've had to quit anything that I did for the joy of doing something other than lie in bed all day, every day. This is not withdrawal, it's pure pain, and it's been 2+ months now.
And after 3 years of the same medication the resistance is high--and I have no choice because when I asked to change they put me on the morphine equivalent of a half dose (of dilaudid) of what I'm on now, at 2x a day. It's insane. These people are all insane. And they all treat me like an addict, not a legitimate patient. It's infuriating.
I'm not even allowed to take cbd capsules or smoke medically even though I have a card and MJ is legal in my state. This shit clinic forbids it in their contract. The only thing I have to try and help myself LIVE is Kratom (because they don't test for it and I damn well don't tell them about it.)
Problem is, Kratom tastes horrible. Toss and wash is basically toss and barf with me. I have SUPER sensitive taste. So far the only way I have found to get it down is to mix it in vast quantities of mango flavored orange juice, and I can't get enough in me to do much about the pain for long. (I'm also diabetic so I'm slowly murdering myself with nasty orange juice every time, the sugar content makes me instantly sick...) I don't know if I'm taking the wrong strain, not enough, or what, but I'm desperate to find a way to make this Kratom stuff work for me. It's the only alternative I seem to have anymore, and I can't afford to buy tons of the capsules--its gotta be done the hard way.
Any advice for a desperate, painful, cranky lady?