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is my fetish turn on or turn off or need therapy

I

imawalker

Greenlighter
Joined
Nov 24, 2015
Messages
2
I love being told what to do by a female. I like being degraded, spit on, smacked around. I love being embarrassed and humiliated. I like being beaten by a woman. I also like other stuff to embarrass and humiliate me and was wondering is a turn on or turn off for woman or do I need to seek therapy
 
You're a masochist, nothing abnormal about it. Plenty of women would love to indulge your fantasies although they can be harder to find..

How old are you?
 
Yeah man you're fine. Some people just like being submissive, including myself. Granted I'm a female. Not a turn off at all cause everyone has their kinks and theres no need for therapy and no need to be embarrassed :)

Find an adventurous female!
 
Everyone has kinks.... I'm a switch... I like to dominate and be dominated.

You definitely don't need therapy..... Go and enjoy yourself with it!!
 
I wish my wife would assfuck me. I can use a dildo on myself and she will wrench my nuts pretty good. Better than nothing, im 57
 
That's definitely a "normal" fetish. I say that in quotes because fetishes are all unique. However it's not a super weird one.... there are much more unique fetishes out there lol. But there are many people who are not into that. Not that I'm a prude or anything, but I would not be into that as I'm more submissive and would not enjoy doing those things. However, there ARE females who would! It just takes a bit to find them :)
 
Wow, Im probably going to get flamed but this liberal almost completely non-judgemental and open everything goes mentality has gone waaay too far. Im all for some roleplaying or a bit of kinky stuff but this is a bit much as it is most likely linked to other things not very healthy regarding your psyche. There is personal preference and then there is point where it start pointing to something not being quite right with you. I mean if youd say you feel this way or like this outside of sex, everyone would immediately be worried about you. But as we put a stamp of fetish and sex on it, it suddenly becomes personal preference and fetish and its OK. I dont think that works that way but I might be wrong, wouldnt be the first time.
And not trying to be offensive in the least but I think If you delve into this yourself or seek help Im certain youll find its linked to something in your life and that thing will be a negative unhealthy memory or a period of time in your life the result of which is this. Id seek help, IHO its not normal to feel this way, to feel aroused by such things points IMO to something wrong with your self image, with the core of your character which im sure it does not manifest itself solely in the fetish but also in other areas of your life.
 
so long as what someone is into, doesn't harm themselves, or harm others, i don't think i could pontificate my beliefs onto other people.

what i think is potentially harmful, is telling someone that their sexual desires are something to be shamed/repressed or treated like a mental illness which needs to be fixed or changed in some way. a more loving response is one of acceptance and openness, just because everyone around you isn't the same as you, doesn't need to instil fear into ur being.

do you think transsexuals are mentally ill as well? i guess theyr probably better off dead than to express their inner self ey <sarcasm>.
 
No, I do not think so at all. I do think youre behaving like an extremist as+hole. Life is not black and white. We're talking about a specific situation here that I addressed without any hate or prejudice. And I believe I explained very well how and why, while you obviously completely ignored it and have actually just proven my point. As long as its a fetish its fine. You say everything should be accepted as long it doesnt harm anyone. So you wouldnt draw the line anywhere then. Nothing in someones sexual behaviour would point to anything wrong with them in your thinking. It personal preference, its only sex, its fine then. Dont you think that is a bit simple minded and naive. How about you take the sex and fetish out of the equation and think about it in a vacuum so to speak. Is it still ok?
Also, there are those that need help and those that have a genuine physical reason for feeling a certain way. I never generalize like you do here. Its narrowminded and dangerous.
 
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i'd reply to your post but i couldn't make out any coherent points besides calling me an asshole, naive and my thinking simple minded.
 
placid space said:
No, I do not think so at all. I do think youre behaving like an extremist as+hole. Life is not black and white. We're talking about a specific situation here that I addressed without any hate or prejudice. And I believe I explained very well how and why, while you obviously completely ignored it and have actually just proven my point. As long as its a fetish its fine. You say everything should be accepted as long it doesnt harm anyone. So you wouldnt draw the line anywhere then. Nothing in someones sexual behaviour would point to anything wrong with them in your thinking. It personal preference, its only sex, its fine then. Dont you think that is a bit simple minded and naive. How about you take the sex and fetish out of the equation and think about it in a vacuum so to speak. Is it still ok?
Also, there are those that need help and those that have a genuine physical reason for feeling a certain way. I never generalize like you do here. Its narrowminded and dangerous.
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Damn, who pissed in your Cheerios man? Sounds like someone's jelly 8)

Seriously though, OP never said he wanted this done outside the bedroom. If he does then yes, that's a problem. But usually when people ask questions like this they are referring to their sex life. If you think OP has a problem then you can say so without stirring the shit pot. But that's not as much fun is it?
 
placid space said:
You say everything should be accepted as long it doesnt harm anyone. So you wouldnt draw the line anywhere then. Nothing in someones sexual behaviour would point to anything wrong with them in your thinking. It personal preference, its only sex, its fine then. Dont you think that is a bit simple minded and naive. How about you take the sex and fetish out of the equation and think about it in a vacuum so to speak. Is it still ok?
Also, there are those that need help and those that have a genuine physical reason for feeling a certain way. I never generalize like you do here. Its narrowminded and dangerous.
Click to expand...

With the majority of fetish scenarios and types it is consenting adults having fun they way they want. They are not warped, or dangerous, or freaks - they do not need help as there is nothing wrong with them they simply enjoy something that you or I may not.

Bondage and humiliation are hardly hardcore fetish scenarios.

Where do you draw the line at what is acceptable between two consenting adults?

Bear
 
Personally I find your fetish a 'turn off', but it's quite normal and I have heard of it several times before. I once saw a documentary where a mistress in a BDSM club made some confessions over certain clients who are CEO's or lawyers and were degraded and humiliated by her. She said it was an exhaust for those people as they boss around everyone during public life. Maybe you have such a profession...

Depending on your location, but there probably is a club you can visit nearby or otherwise a classified in the newspaper will bring you in contact with women who are into masochism.

xxx
 
Normal normal, normal is just a word that is based on culture, rationalizations, semantics. It has NOTHING to do with being a balanced individual. All such fetishes originate from somewhere. But our conscious mind blocks it from invading into our "normal" lifes. Yet they still exists. Simply because you attach a word fetish or wrap sth in semantics dependant on a certain culture of that time and place doesnt make such behaviour balanced or the person. Normal only mean it is accepted by that mentality of that society in those times. But those are all parameters dependant on time and place. A balanced human mind is not. A balanced person doesnt need to be dominated or degraded and doesnt matter whether you justify it as a fetish or having fun.
Just because you say its a fetish doesnt change anything. These "personal sexual preferences" are no less a result of a unbalanced individual as if a person would walk around backwards on weekends,quack instead of speak and demand to treat him as a duck.
A human mind is all one thing, simply because our consciousness acts as a sort of inhibition and filter, preventing us from doing stupid sh+t doesnt mean we can diminish its importance and characterize it simply as fetish. Usually these fetish cravings play a huge role in our personality that im certain one could spot little signs if one would engage a person like that in conversation. Lots of times people hide it and act a certain way.
Also, If I wanted to kill anyone that angered me but I didnt, everyone would say im normal, its just rage. No, its not. The same if I wanted to be whipped everyday and it would arouse me etc.. There would be something seriously wrong with me. Matters not really whether I want to hurt someone or not, that only changes whether its accepted culturally or not. But because my mind, self discipline, culture, prison force me to act a certain way, that doesnt change how I feel or what I want to do.
So if someone wants to be degraded and piss+ed on or whatever, that perhaps is a personal preference but that has a root somewhere that made him act that way. Something that shattered his self image at some point , something that made him damaged and now needs to replicate it for whatever reason. I am 100% certain a psychologist would find a lot of heavy baggage with that person specific to that fetish from his past or better yet, he could find it himself in meditation. Yes, we all have baggage, but what matters is how we deal with it, whether we face it and break it or keep the same patterns and go in circles.
 
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Bearlove said:
Where do you draw the line at what is acceptable between two consenting adults?

Bear
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Good question, I dont know. I guess I wouldnt draw the line, not sure one can. We are all so different from one another. While I do of course believe there are such things as going ovrerboard that point to a problem. Perhaps some men might like it more hard, bordering on violent, maybe a bit or roleplaying(which can be simply connected to finding a character from a film hot) etc.. and women more foreplay, perhaps also prefer it rougher or something. Which I dont think it necessarily points to anything, its nature for women to seek a strong man as a protector whether they need one or not, which can then spill into sex. Natural, instinct.
I remember also reading on fetishes a few years back cause I was wondering what makes a boob man or a butt man :) and such and there are physical aspects to that too. Or foot fetish for example, there is something about brain wiring and some part of the brain connected to feet is placed directly opposing the sexual part of the brain and for some people there are a few "cross" connections made in the womb which then can mix the signals a bit so you are attrated to feet.
So a fetish of course doesnt necessary mean anything. But those that are quite extreme and is very unlikely they have a physical origin, Id say those are something to be investigated. If nothing else, out of curiousity for ones wellbeing and psychological and spiritual progress.
 
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I'm into some degradation stuff (both giving and receiving) too; it's a really common kink. I'm in therapy for unrelated reasons, and my psychologist hasn't said word one about my sexual predilections. We have a saying in the lifestyle: YKINMK but YKIOK. Your kink is not my kink, but your kink is ok. (Obviously this only applies in clearly consensual situations!)

There's also this http://www.livescience.com/34832-bdsm-healthy-psychology.html

OP, you should check out Fetlife if you're not already on there.
 
imawalker said:
I love being told what to do by a female. I like being degraded, spit on, smacked around. I love being embarrassed and humiliated. I like being beaten by a woman. I also like other stuff to embarrass and humiliate me and was wondering is a turn on or turn off for woman or do I need to seek therapy
Click to expand...

To quote Sheryl Crow, "If it makes you happy, it can't be that bad". You like to be dominated. Some people like feet, other like hair pulling, others are into butt sex whilst some are only in to role playing.... A massive extended middle finger to anyone who tells you differently. Everyone has their kinks and it is not something to ever be ashamed or embarrassed about. If people don't like it.... Scroll on passed the thread and go and find something else to read.

Oh... and if people want to pass judgement on others, divulge your dirty secrets and let others judge you first.... Let's see how you like it.
 
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