Is it possible for me to ever enjoy cannabis?

[konanwarrior]

Hello bluelighters, a strange question, but I will put it out there.

Cannabis has always made me feel extremely anxious. I smoke even the smallest amount, and feel terrified. (I suffer from anxiety). My thoughts race so fast, I can't stop them, I am so paranoid it is terrifying, and I vomit. Once I smoked a joint, and felt not too good, so decided to lay down. I proceeded to panic when I realised If I touched my face, I could not feel my hand touching my face, the sensation was blurred, and the panic ensued.

Thing is, once whilst high on Benzos, I had a smoke. It was amazing. Food was the best thing ever, I felt chilled, and could understand why people liked it. I even bought myself some for the first time.
I then run out of benzos, proceeded to smoke a joint like I had been enjoying previously, and the terror started again. I honestly can not enjoy weed unless there is something to control my anxiety, like a benzo, or previously alcohol ( I can no longer drink as was a alcoholic).

So, my question is, will I ever be able to get the feeling I got of bliss like when I was on weed and benzos, from just the weed? Or will it always just not be for me? The panic/anxiety is not mild, it is honestly life altering in the scale of terror.

 

[PotatoMan]

Weed is not for you.

Do not get into habitual use of benzos just so that you can enjoy weed.

You must just accept this as some people just can't handle psychoactives.

How do you react to alcohol?


err... oh i just saw you mentioned you were an alcoholic....

Yea so as I was saying, some people can't handle psychoactives and shouldn't be indulging. Not even a cigarette.

I know it's hard to accept this as drugs are so glamourized but you gotta face the music.

 

[kaya_9]

I've known some people that can't do it. They either get sick or have that anxiety unless they have something else, like you had. Have you tried some different strains? That can make a huge difference. Also, things like getting out and keeping your mind occupied with something. I like to do meticulous things when I'm on my own...mosaics, henna, etc. It's a focusing thing, and it keeps you in the moment..kind of like a meditation..like Buddhists do with a sand mandala .

Those things are worth a try. You have to get out of that mindset, and that means not reflecting on yourself at first. Later you can look in.

I'd say if you still have the anxiety you should stop. A friend said she couldn't it-being allergic...You might look into that. Maybe not though since you were fine on the other shit with it...idk.

 

[Romsel]

Yo Konan,

I smoked weed/hash for almost fifteen years.
First ten years were awesome, had a great time with my friends and also by myself.
Last three/four years became horrible. Thinking about anxiety, negative thoughts, racing heart, paranoid, etc.

My last two experiences were so frightening, that i decided to stop completely.
These experiences occurred October 2014 and last weekend.

My second last time (October 2014) I really thought i was dying.
That my friends conspired against me and were about to murder me.
I could not move, could not talk and was convinced everybody could read my mind.
NOT cool.

Last weekend i took a few hits while being completely shit wasted by alcohol.
Honestly, i don't remember the hour prior smoking the weed and have no idea why i did it.
But i do remember when ''it'' happened again while sitting in the backseat of the car.
It happened within seconds, and i was like ''fuuuuckk, its happening again!''
I decided to ''ignore'' it, and just stared in front of me, totally paralyzed.
When we came home, i became sick and puked. Puking caused by alcohol or drugs did not happened to me in 14 years.
My friend told me the next day ''he had never seen somebody so confused''.

Konan, im not saying this will happen to you but don't use agents which make you feel bad.

Do not get into habitual use of benzos just so that you can enjoy weed.

You must just accept this as some people just can't handle psychoactives.

Above is very true, especially the benzo's.

Good luck Konan!

 

[velmwend]

try eating cookies. I used to suffer horrid paranoia until I started eating small dose brownies.

 

[Bagseed]

if you can enjoy weed only if you take benzos, you should work on your anxiety problems (which is something you should do anyway, regardless of wanting to smoke weed)...

there are many ways, exercise, healthy lifestyle, therapy, confronting yourself; for me a mix of those definately works. how is your anxiety influencing your daily life, is it a big problem when you don't smoke weed?

 

[rave_itsrealfun!!!]

The answer to this problem is blatantly obvious: just don't ever smoke weed. Why would you smoke something that gives you a panic attack? That's stupid if you try and do that... respect and pay attention to your body. Weed is insignificant in the grand scheme of things.

 

[konanwarrior]

My anxiety problems do cause issues day to day, but I have found there may of been a long term medical condition causing it. I have just been diagnosed with hypogonadism, and now have to have anabolic steroids given to me ( By a doctor of course) to get my testosterone levels normal.

Reading into the symptoms, they describe me to a T. If I get any relief from my anxiety from the treatment, I will be amazed.

And I agree with the comments saying just never smoke weed, it's just when you are with friends/family and they are smoking, it would be nice to be able to indulge occasionally. Maybe when my anxietys in check I will try a small amount.