MyDoorsAreOpen
Bluelight Crew
- Joined
- Aug 20, 2003
- Messages
- 8,549
I've been taking kratom nearly every day now for a little over 3 months. I've tried a number of different strains and dosing patterns, but have settled on the strain mix called Ganesh MD, dosed one level teaspoon (5cc) of the powder orally three times daily. I don't know how to say this without sounding trite, but I honestly feel as though this may be the perfect drug. At this dosage, I feel content and modestly stimulated, with an otherwise clear head and no body load that I can perceive. Since starting kratom, my life has fallen into place in ways I've always wanted, but until this point haven't been able to achieve with any combination of drugs or lifestyle modifications. I'm calmer, more positive, and more accepting of things, people, and situations the way they are, while at the same time very motivated to move forward and accomplish things. At this dosage I get none of the lethargy or mental slowing that narcotic painkillers and marijuana can impart.
Most astonishingly, I haven't notice any tolerance developing to low, stimulating kratom doses. I feel as though if I had an unlimited supply of the stuff, I could keep this up indefinitely. The rational part of my brain tells me I have an addiction. But I find the emotional component of of an addiction, the low-level self-loathing and looming feeling of "this won't end well" which accompanied all the other drugs I've abused, is entirely absent. And most interesting of all, I don't find kratom particularly moreish. The only chemical habit it draws analogy to, for me, is caffeine. Caffeine and kratom both enhance my life. I know that I'm hooked on both of them, but so far the enhancement they regularly deliver outweighs the costs to my life far too much for me to justify quitting either one. And, at the same time, overdoing it on either one is unpleasant enough for me to have no desire to push my doses or binge on either.
Provided good quality kratom remains readily and cheaply available to me, is what I'm doing sustainable? Or are the consequences of long-term low level regular use just slower in coming than for most drugs?
Most astonishingly, I haven't notice any tolerance developing to low, stimulating kratom doses. I feel as though if I had an unlimited supply of the stuff, I could keep this up indefinitely. The rational part of my brain tells me I have an addiction. But I find the emotional component of of an addiction, the low-level self-loathing and looming feeling of "this won't end well" which accompanied all the other drugs I've abused, is entirely absent. And most interesting of all, I don't find kratom particularly moreish. The only chemical habit it draws analogy to, for me, is caffeine. Caffeine and kratom both enhance my life. I know that I'm hooked on both of them, but so far the enhancement they regularly deliver outweighs the costs to my life far too much for me to justify quitting either one. And, at the same time, overdoing it on either one is unpleasant enough for me to have no desire to push my doses or binge on either.
Provided good quality kratom remains readily and cheaply available to me, is what I'm doing sustainable? Or are the consequences of long-term low level regular use just slower in coming than for most drugs?