It was, is the hope, rather than plan. Last week I had absolutely no chance it was ridiculous me even suggesting it to myself I was just panicking because of the trauma I was hit by from the impact of accident, injury stress flu and life and real near death, in a prolonged manner.
No way was I physically capable of anything, that was a serious flu, which was overshadowed out of awareness entirely for days, weeks a few times, to be felt fully again when senses returned or were less preoccupied.
Just no chance last week. Serious physical rest and recovery needed.
I was not prepared for Covid 2 on top of still covid 1 arriving the weekend.
Honestly, I am glad, it is not true 6 week intleunza again, back to back, would make it 3 to times in 2021.
The thought of starting another six weeks of influenza and pneumonia right now would destroy me I don't know how I would not give up on life if that was the case seriously.
So it's Covid. I still haven't cleared September 2020 Covid from my nervous system yet after some complications.
There's every chance this new infection will end up in my nervous system as well and could be another long haul it's totally unpredictable.
My mum has it as well she is very unwell much more than she is used to it's an extremely nasty virus. I can breathe 80% better than I could on Sunday but it has taken daily treatment and attention.
But I will take it over another long influenza case right now. Phew for that one.
I also have some pharma grade Ivermectin which I very likely will use too.
So, no no chance I had this week. Even if Sat-Thursday were not writen off suffocating, treating, sleeping, not.
I'm not going to commence anything, try and present the complicated overall (in person, I'm really not a drag, I get my meaning across so clear fast and sharp, make it really easy) and def not be visiting a public building fresh with a (not literally here) killer new Covid case.
But I have helped myself. I have control and measure over the benzos all week like I've not yet.
Seeing, I can do it. And this is the hardest moment for it still.
My head does feel a lot calmer for taking significantly less LSD as well for the moment.
And
@dalpat077 in no way am I ever trying to imply, infer, suggest, entice, encourage, persuade or instil confidence or interest in you personally, or anybody, to take psychedelics. You are cool enoughthe way you are, and a rare bunny too, in that you SEEM happy, kind of, in ways mostly.
Never a grump for sure. Bright spirit. You keep it well. No need for risky excursions for you.
So I just do what I do, totally independently. Has always been that way. I made sure to be the most independent drug taker I possibly could be literally independent as much as possible. Non suggestive, non encouraging, offering etc.
The point about the chiropractor receptionist. If she had understood exactly what I told her she would have been totally flabbergasted. Like...oh my god! I never would have thought for a second...etc.
It does not show, there is some odd phenomenon at work governing the consciousness and personality.