Pallyress
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Feb 22, 2016
- Messages
- 168
I'm on prescribed Vyvanse, diagnosed with ADHD and PTSD. Vyvanse doesn't make me high, it makes me function normally.
I'll give some background so it's possible to take this in consideration.
I have used MDMA over the last year to assist self therapy, using the same doses (125 mg) and similar setup as described in research protocols (MAPS). I have built up some toletance due to several sessions. Usually 1 month between, but also longer, and a couple of times just 3 weeks apart. I always feel much better and have reduced PTSD symptoms afterwards. I do it alone, meditate and "cry it out".
When I changed from Concerta to Vyvanse, I experienced a drop in the MDMA effect. The euphoria dissapeared. One time it might have been due to starvation, PTSD flare ups makes it impossible for me to eat (I believe it is when I get stuck in fight/flight mode due to triggers). That time I experienced a mild increase in the roll when I was able to drink nutrition during the roll. My weight had plummeted for the past weeks due to not eating. Next day I woke up super hungry, my IBS was gone, and I ate 3 full meals with no problem, even with joy.
Second time I rolled on Vyvanse I ate first, to ensure availability of neurons in brain. By now my dose was increased, possible a tine but too high, but I let it drop, then combined MDMA with a small dose Vyvanse (to keep my mind from getting adhd chaotic, and be able to meditate/keep string of thoughts).
This time I felt it stronger, but it was still mild, with hardly any euphoria. This was only 3 weeks after previous roll, because I was 'shutting down' and not able to care/get visits from my children. I know it's not ideal with so short time between. I also smoked as I have heard that nicotine makes one more sensitive to dopamine.
Both times the MDMA worked so mildly that I wasn't able to work on the worst issues, but I worked on other stuff, and both times I experienced a good after effect, as I always do. Also, I wasn't emotionally exhausted/drained afterwards, went about my appointments/chores, just feeling a bit tired.
Simultaneously, I have also started a high tryptophan diet to try to avoid anti-depressant, so even when food intake has been low or starved, I've eaten eggs, fat fish, olive oil ++ in a larger extent than earlier. I have read that increasing sensitivity to MDMA can be done by having a low tryptophan diet.
I'll guess I have done MDMA about 9 times the last year. Effect was good until I changed to Vyvanse, then it plummeted. On Concerta I would run the plasma concentration low before rolling, which is difficult to do on Vyvanse because it would require me getting off meds for a couple of days. This would be too dangerous for me to do, due to PTSD flaring up and possible getting suicidal when ADHD isn't kept at bay.
Is it true that it is dopamine that creates the MDMA euphoria? Why would it then dissappear with Vyvanse? Or is the smooth ride from Vyvanse making me less sensitive to dopamine?
I'm thinking that I will have a long break from MDMA now, and ask my doctor about starting me up on SSRI, but I'm still very curious about the last couple of rolls. I've tried to read about it, but it's difficult to know where to start, and... it's just really difficult to understand.
Any insights, or possible 'dumb down' explanations?
I'll give some background so it's possible to take this in consideration.
I have used MDMA over the last year to assist self therapy, using the same doses (125 mg) and similar setup as described in research protocols (MAPS). I have built up some toletance due to several sessions. Usually 1 month between, but also longer, and a couple of times just 3 weeks apart. I always feel much better and have reduced PTSD symptoms afterwards. I do it alone, meditate and "cry it out".
When I changed from Concerta to Vyvanse, I experienced a drop in the MDMA effect. The euphoria dissapeared. One time it might have been due to starvation, PTSD flare ups makes it impossible for me to eat (I believe it is when I get stuck in fight/flight mode due to triggers). That time I experienced a mild increase in the roll when I was able to drink nutrition during the roll. My weight had plummeted for the past weeks due to not eating. Next day I woke up super hungry, my IBS was gone, and I ate 3 full meals with no problem, even with joy.
Second time I rolled on Vyvanse I ate first, to ensure availability of neurons in brain. By now my dose was increased, possible a tine but too high, but I let it drop, then combined MDMA with a small dose Vyvanse (to keep my mind from getting adhd chaotic, and be able to meditate/keep string of thoughts).
This time I felt it stronger, but it was still mild, with hardly any euphoria. This was only 3 weeks after previous roll, because I was 'shutting down' and not able to care/get visits from my children. I know it's not ideal with so short time between. I also smoked as I have heard that nicotine makes one more sensitive to dopamine.
Both times the MDMA worked so mildly that I wasn't able to work on the worst issues, but I worked on other stuff, and both times I experienced a good after effect, as I always do. Also, I wasn't emotionally exhausted/drained afterwards, went about my appointments/chores, just feeling a bit tired.
Simultaneously, I have also started a high tryptophan diet to try to avoid anti-depressant, so even when food intake has been low or starved, I've eaten eggs, fat fish, olive oil ++ in a larger extent than earlier. I have read that increasing sensitivity to MDMA can be done by having a low tryptophan diet.
I'll guess I have done MDMA about 9 times the last year. Effect was good until I changed to Vyvanse, then it plummeted. On Concerta I would run the plasma concentration low before rolling, which is difficult to do on Vyvanse because it would require me getting off meds for a couple of days. This would be too dangerous for me to do, due to PTSD flaring up and possible getting suicidal when ADHD isn't kept at bay.
Is it true that it is dopamine that creates the MDMA euphoria? Why would it then dissappear with Vyvanse? Or is the smooth ride from Vyvanse making me less sensitive to dopamine?
I'm thinking that I will have a long break from MDMA now, and ask my doctor about starting me up on SSRI, but I'm still very curious about the last couple of rolls. I've tried to read about it, but it's difficult to know where to start, and... it's just really difficult to understand.
Any insights, or possible 'dumb down' explanations?