It isn't unusual after perception shattering experiences like that to feel disoriented and depressed. Give time for the experience to settle. I'd advise against chasing it by trying to go back there. Likely you wouldn't be able to even if you tried, and will succeed only in increasing your confusion. If it helps you, write it down. Take the role of an observer and describe it to yourself. Interact with the memory of it but don't be hasty to say "it means this." Write down questions that come up about it. Some things are challenging to put into words, but if you keep at it it'll open up insights into your experience that stay with you. It may take many attempts to feel you are capturing it. As for the rest, time will help you integrate it. You'll get insights into it just by living your life. Take good care of yourself physically (food, sleep, exercise), engage yourself in activities and let clarity come to you by staying open and receptive towards it. If your mind is racing a lot, you might try meditation. I feel like experiences like that open up a hole that we as human beings want to fill up again far too quickly. Blown perception if allowed to settle properly can be a gift. It's ok not to know.
