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integrating a 10-year-old LSD trip?!

i'm not 100% sure... look - i know it sounds weird but stuff is still happening and i make up that i'm afraid to tell the story because ripple effect...
 
Bro, pm then. I guaran fucking tee you i am not your enemy. I cant communicate telepathically. I am not capable of reading your thoughts or anything. But i will lend an ear and listen. The truth is that people in this world want to take your soul. They want to take your life in a way. They want to control your path after death and here and now.

I am of the VERY strong belief that people who have lifted the veil and chosen the wrong path for knowledge and earthly pleasures are able to hack into other peoples consciousness. Not directly as if using a computer - but through sending suggestions. By implimenting suggestions you can affect a persons mood in the blink of an eye. Then all you need to do is send the right sequence and BAM you can truly control another human being. I know it sounds insane. But i hope you believe me when i say i'm just a normal human being trying to figure this all out. And ye, i'm scared. I can't even trust my own family, love. :)

After my own trip the universe seemed to form patterns. In the games i played the opponents names would be shit like jesus, christ, faith, easter, etc etc. Right after my trip as well Heroes of the storm released the new map of devil vs angels. Everything seemed to be a sign. I just need to time to process it. One thing is for sure doe. There's nothing in this world you want. Don't trade your soul for anything!! :)

Hopefully ya don't think i'm too crazy

But i'm just some random dude on the internet. Up to you, and you alone, to decide what you wanna do. Just know ya got an ear here :D
 
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ya - i read your thread... you're so blessed that you had friends around you who kept you 'playing'... and i may agree with you about suggestions.. my friend talks about the astral realms as well - and that there's light AND dark out there.
from the perspective I have today - what happened is that I made a poorly considered choice with regard to set as well as setting, also neglected to frame my questions/intentions well, and (here's the big one) assumed that the higher realms were benevolent.
ouch!
 
Felonious Monk said:
Do you have some aversion to describing the trip itself and the immediate implications?

You've said a lot of things which don't make any sense.
Click to expand...

I realise that a lot of my posts may not make sense as they've been written in the moment. Here's the thing: about this time last year, I'd had enough of drinking, drugs etc because i've got a daughter to raise (on my own so far). i had also been taking meds for PTSD, cannabis, wellbutrin, cloazepam, adderall, gabapentin, ambien, effexor (that was a bitch to get off! seemed like 6 months of crying all the time) and some others...
then i began a shamanic process called 'soul retrieval' and combined that with a 2-session self designed mdma treatment for ptsd... it all was going really really well - i got off all my meds (even most cannabis)
I know now that the shamanic practitioner i've been working with did not have the skills to deal with the level of trauma i've experienced, and i make up that before she figured that out she 'tough loved' me a little too harshly, but i went along it because i thought she knew what she was doing. I love her very much and I know she loves me, like I always wanted my own mother to love me.
So now she's referred me to someone else (who I'm seeing today) and i'm hopeful but at the same time, 10 years ago I reached out for help to anyone and everyone i could think of (and was in a highly suggestible state - -which links up with @helpmehelptheworld and my perception at that time was that each time I reached out i heard derisive laughter, felt shame and another bridge was burned. I was terribly afraid that I was being left out of the collective, and in fact did attempt suicide (failed attempt) - and then i couldn't find a way to do it without hurting someone else... i even tried to take myself out with the garbage.
anyway - recently i'm back on meds because i began having suicidal thoughts again (wellbutrin, adderall, gabapentin, clonazepam, cannabis)
 
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i want to - for years i closed the door on what happened 10 years ago as a 'bad trip' and wouldn't talk about it. once i made the decision to allow it to have meaning, my life started to change - as I work toward knowing what the hell happened i hope to discover how best to use this to be the best of my abilities... can you expound on what you mean please?
 
I don't think you'll find the answer here :/ people are interested in your trip most likely and the others usually just want to give kind words and let ya know you're gonna be okay.


From my point of view, as selfish as it sounds, i just want you to tell your trip in hopes that i can find some answers of my own and perhaps let you know which parts I , myself, see as sensible and not. A grounding at times is very needed to let us know that not EvERY thought we have about a subject or idea has merit.
 
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