• S E X
    L O V E +
    R E L A T I O N S H I P S


    ❤️ Welcome Guest! ❤️


    Posting Guidelines Bluelight Rules
  • SLR Moderators: axe battler | xtcgrrrl | arrall

Inside the mind of someone with Borderline Personality Disorder

I have bpd and everyday is a struggle for me. I cry. I snap. I have insane anger issues and I am the most jealous girl in the entire world. I have been midly practicing DBT dialectical behavioral therapy which was created by Marsha Linehan. It's the most effective therapy for someone with borderline personality disorder. However.,. I still hate myself and have a boyfriend who loves me but god I put him through hell everyday. I'm always wondering when he will abandon me like my father did. I don't want to burden my friends with my problems because they don't understand. I'm mad all the time. If I am not mad I'm sad. There is rarely a day I am content. I know a lot about this disorder and I know how bad it aches even to just live. It's hard to live when your emotions are out of control. I am beyond lonely and depressed. I do see a therapist and started in a DBT group. So I have hope. I also have a child and am afraid of her growing up damaged because her mother was crazy and angry and didn't have much patience. I am a loving mother but when I have a child with ADHD and I have bpd it isn't a good combo. Every single part of my life is Falling apart. I just wanted to let the men who are dating women like me to not give up because when we love we love deeply and we are terrified of losing you. I am terrified of losing my boyfriend and I even have reoccurring nightmares about it. And to the women suffering from bpd. Pls know you aren't alone and that you should look into DBT therapy. It's the only proven therapy to work for bpd. There are no medicines to fix borderline personality disorder that is a proven fact. But therapy helps immensely and so does DBT therapy.
 
It is worth it. Talk to the person you're seeing. If they are unwilling to get help then leaving is a good choice but don't give up on someone just because they are broken. That's not love that's quitting. That's abandoning them. Read all the info you can on borderline personality disorder and maybe you will see her a bit differently. It's a disease just like cancer. Would u leave your girlfriend because she has cancer? No. You would hold her and stand by her and help her get better. What the guy said before you is an idiot.
 
I don't know much about bpd, but at least you're not going around believing you're the only one who is absolutely normal and brilliant and that everyone around you is crazy. Some people can only point fingers. It seems like acknowledging it is more than half the battle. How do you handle rage when you feel an outburst coming on?
PINUPGIRL said:
It is worth it. Talk to the person you're seeing. If they are unwilling to get help then leaving is a good choice but don't give up on someone just because they are broken. That's not love that's quitting. That's abandoning them. Read all the info you can on borderline personality disorder and maybe you will see her a bit differently. It's a disease just like cancer. Would u leave your girlfriend because she has cancer? No. You would hold her and stand by her and help her get better. What the guy said before you is an idiot.
Click to expand...
 
There is this term called mindfulness it's a skill they teach you in DBT. It's recognizing your feeling and distracting yourself with things like cleaning, watching a movie, taking a walk, writing, painting, anything to keep yourself at the task on hand you are doing and fully engage yourself in it. Then you come back to the feeling after u have calmed down. If I am beyond mad. Sometimes I say to my boyfriend I am at a 10. 10 being the maddest you can be and I say I need to go calm down. There are other things like taking a super cold shower to regulate body temperature. Or even sticking your face in a bucket of ice water for as long as you can. These may sound dumb but I've done all of them and they do work. I can be fine one minute and something triggers me I will flip out and start throwing things and screaming. I'm a 31 year old mom. I can't act like that. Just because I'm an artist doesn't mean I get to act insane like Salvador Dali. So I do the best I can also medicine helps. My kolonipins help and I'm perscribed them for when I have a panic/anger/episode. Does this help? Are you asking because you have anger issues or someone else?
 
I know I'm crazier than hell but it's how I deal with my emotions that matter.
How I deal with anger is this:
there is this term called mindfulness it's a skill they teach you in DBT. It's recognizing your feeling and distracting yourself with things like cleaning, watching a movie, taking a walk, writing, painting, anything to keep yourself at the task on hand you are doing and fully engage yourself in it. Then you come back to the feeling after u have calmed down. If I am beyond mad. Sometimes I say to my boyfriend I am at a 10. 10 being the maddest you can be and I say I need to go calm down. There are other things like taking a super cold shower to regulate body temperature. Or even sticking your face in a bucket of ice water for as long as you can. These may sound dumb but I've done all of them and they do work. I can be fine one minute and something triggers me I will flip out and start throwing things and screaming. I'm a 31 year old mom. I can't act like that. Just because I'm an artist doesn't mean I get to act insane like Salvador Dali. So I do the best I can also medicine helps. My kolonipins help and I'm perscribed them for when I have a panic/anger/episode. Does this help? Are you asking because you have anger issues or someone else?
 
BPD SYMPTOM CHECKLIST
​If you are in a relationship with someone and the relationship is a “stormy” one, you may be wondering if that person may have Borderline Personality Disorder. If you are, you might want to know that there are certain behaviors that can indicate that a person may have Borderline Personality Disorder.

Ask yourself the following questions:


1. Do they have trouble defining their personal boundaries?
2. Do they have trouble respecting/observing my personal boundaries?
3. Do they act impulsively, and do they do this much too often?
4. Do they engage in self-injurious behavior (self-mutilation, cutting, burning, etc.)?
5. Do they spend too much, shoplift, engage in risky sexual behavior, fight, gamble excessively, drive recklessly, and/or binge eat/purge?
6. Do they abuse alcohol and/or drugs?
7. Do they threaten to kill themselves, and/or have they tried to commit suicide?
8. Did they rush into this relationship?
9. Do they make unreasonable demands upon me?
10. Do they make unreasonable demands upon the relationship?
11. Do they act needy and demanding one minute and push me away the next minute?
12. Do they act like they want to be with me one day and reject me the next day?
13. Have they broken up with me (at least once) and then gotten back together with me quickly?
14. Do they make me feel like I can never do enough for them?
15. Do they make me feel like I can never do anything right?
16. Do they expect more from me than I can give?
17. Do they seem like they are always in “crisis-mode?”
18. Do they needlessly create crises or live a chaotic lifestyle?
19. Are they a “drama queen/king?”
20. Do they seem to blow things out of proportion?
21. Do they seem to be competent and controlled in some situations, yet extremely out of control in others?
22. Are they competent and controlled in a situation at one time, yet incompetent and out of control in the same situation at another time?
23. Do they often go into a rage?
24. Do they often go into a rage over seemingly nothing (trivial things)?
25. Is their rage unpredictable?
26. Am I afraid of making them angry?
27. Is their behavior in general often unpredictable or inconsistent?
28. Do I feel as if I am walking on eggshells?
29. Do they seem to “stuff” their feelings?
30. Do they “stuff” their feelings and then release them all at once?
31. Do they take things out on me?
32. Do they physically abuse me?
33. Do they mentally/emotionally abuse me?
34. Do they verbally abuse me?
35. Do they blame me for how they are feeling?
36. Do they blame me for things that are not my fault?
37. Do they blame me for things that they do?
38. Do they make me feel guilty?
39. Do they criticize me?
40. Do they pick fights with me?
41. Do they especially pick fights with me when things seem to be going well with us?
42. Do they treat me well in front of other people, but treat me bad when we are alone?
43. Do they seem to cut people out of their life over trivial issues?
44. Do they verbally abuse others (criticize or blame them)?
45. Do they act charming toward strangers, yet abusively toward people they know well?
46. Do they seem to switch moods very quickly?
47. Are they very manipulative?
48. Are they a very controlling person?
49. Do they seem to always focus the attention on themselves?
50. Do they deny saying and/or doing things that I know they said and did?


If you answered “yes” to many/most of the above questions, you are most likely involved with a person who has Borderline Personality Disorder. There is no “cure” for the disorder, but treatment is possible, if the person wants help. Treatment consists of medication and therapy.
 
I've known people with many of those traits. However, I found it was impossible to reach out. It would just make them blow up and blame others. They didn't acknowledge that they did any of these things, despite multiple witnesses. They seemed to lack mindfulness and didn't seem to care how they affected those close to them.

All of those mindfulness are exercises are excellent. Up until I was 12 or 13 I would flip out, but I found that some of the same exercises taught me to control anger. I find that deep diaphragm breathing helps too.
PINUPGIRL said:
BPD SYMPTOM CHECKLIST
​If you are in a relationship with someone and the relationship is a “stormy” one, you may be wondering if that person may have Borderline Personality Disorder. If you are, you might want to know that there are certain behaviors that can indicate that a person may have Borderline Personality Disorder.

Ask yourself the following questions:


1. Do they have trouble defining their personal boundaries?
2. Do they have trouble respecting/observing my personal boundaries?
3. Do they act impulsively, and do they do this much too often?
4. Do they engage in self-injurious behavior (self-mutilation, cutting, burning, etc.)?
5. Do they spend too much, shoplift, engage in risky sexual behavior, fight, gamble excessively, drive recklessly, and/or binge eat/purge?
6. Do they abuse alcohol and/or drugs?
7. Do they threaten to kill themselves, and/or have they tried to commit suicide?
8. Did they rush into this relationship?
9. Do they make unreasonable demands upon me?
10. Do they make unreasonable demands upon the relationship?
11. Do they act needy and demanding one minute and push me away the next minute?
12. Do they act like they want to be with me one day and reject me the next day?
13. Have they broken up with me (at least once) and then gotten back together with me quickly?
14. Do they make me feel like I can never do enough for them?
15. Do they make me feel like I can never do anything right?
16. Do they expect more from me than I can give?
17. Do they seem like they are always in “crisis-mode?”
18. Do they needlessly create crises or live a chaotic lifestyle?
19. Are they a “drama queen/king?”
20. Do they seem to blow things out of proportion?
21. Do they seem to be competent and controlled in some situations, yet extremely out of control in others?
22. Are they competent and controlled in a situation at one time, yet incompetent and out of control in the same situation at another time?
23. Do they often go into a rage?
24. Do they often go into a rage over seemingly nothing (trivial things)?
25. Is their rage unpredictable?
26. Am I afraid of making them angry?
27. Is their behavior in general often unpredictable or inconsistent?
28. Do I feel as if I am walking on eggshells?
29. Do they seem to “stuff” their feelings?
30. Do they “stuff” their feelings and then release them all at once?
31. Do they take things out on me?
32. Do they physically abuse me?
33. Do they mentally/emotionally abuse me?
34. Do they verbally abuse me?
35. Do they blame me for how they are feeling?
36. Do they blame me for things that are not my fault?
37. Do they blame me for things that they do?
38. Do they make me feel guilty?
39. Do they criticize me?
40. Do they pick fights with me?
41. Do they especially pick fights with me when things seem to be going well with us?
42. Do they treat me well in front of other people, but treat me bad when we are alone?
43. Do they seem to cut people out of their life over trivial issues?
44. Do they verbally abuse others (criticize or blame them)?
45. Do they act charming toward strangers, yet abusively toward people they know well?
46. Do they seem to switch moods very quickly?
47. Are they very manipulative?
48. Are they a very controlling person?
49. Do they seem to always focus the attention on themselves?
50. Do they deny saying and/or doing things that I know they said and did?


If you answered “yes” to many/most of the above questions, you are most likely involved with a person who has Borderline Personality Disorder. There is no “cure” for the disorder, but treatment is possible, if the person wants help. Treatment consists of medication and therapy.
Click to expand...
 
I'm sorry that those people couldn't recognize their disease. The only way it really clicked in my head I had bpd when I kept getting asked by several therapists if they think I might not be bipolar and instead borderline. I did my own research and gauged btwn the two that I was definetly not bipolar but instead had bpd. I was then diagnosed a few months later with bpd. Sometimes showing someone a checklist helps them realize that they might have it. It's a serious disease and has a high suicide rate. I'm glad you got over your anger issues
 
Evey, read the checklist I posted below. From this post I can tell you I'm pretty sure you have BPD but should get a physiatrist evaluation first. My emotions change within minutes/hours... I can be laughing one moment and mad as hell the next. Multiple moodswings from one end of the spectrum to the other is a classic symptom of bpd. It isn't uncommon and there are ways to eventually control it. Pls msg me if u have any questions
 
PINUPGIRL said:
BPD SYMPTOM CHECKLIST
​If you are in a relationship with someone and the relationship is a “stormy” one, you may be wondering if that person may have Borderline Personality Disorder. If you are, you might want to know that there are certain behaviors that can indicate that a person may have Borderline Personality Disorder.

Ask yourself the following questions:


1. Do they have trouble defining their personal boundaries?
2. Do they have trouble respecting/observing my personal boundaries?
3. Do they act impulsively, and do they do this much too often?
4. Do they engage in self-injurious behavior (self-mutilation, cutting, burning, etc.)?
5. Do they spend too much, shoplift, engage in risky sexual behavior, fight, gamble excessively, drive recklessly, and/or binge eat/purge?
6. Do they abuse alcohol and/or drugs?
7. Do they threaten to kill themselves, and/or have they tried to commit suicide?
8. Did they rush into this relationship?
9. Do they make unreasonable demands upon me?
10. Do they make unreasonable demands upon the relationship?
11. Do they act needy and demanding one minute and push me away the next minute?
12. Do they act like they want to be with me one day and reject me the next day?
13. Have they broken up with me (at least once) and then gotten back together with me quickly?
14. Do they make me feel like I can never do enough for them?
15. Do they make me feel like I can never do anything right?
16. Do they expect more from me than I can give?
17. Do they seem like they are always in “crisis-mode?”
18. Do they needlessly create crises or live a chaotic lifestyle?
19. Are they a “drama queen/king?”
20. Do they seem to blow things out of proportion?
21. Do they seem to be competent and controlled in some situations, yet extremely out of control in others?
22. Are they competent and controlled in a situation at one time, yet incompetent and out of control in the same situation at another time?
23. Do they often go into a rage?
24. Do they often go into a rage over seemingly nothing (trivial things)?
25. Is their rage unpredictable?
26. Am I afraid of making them angry?
27. Is their behavior in general often unpredictable or inconsistent?
28. Do I feel as if I am walking on eggshells?
29. Do they seem to “stuff” their feelings?
30. Do they “stuff” their feelings and then release them all at once?
31. Do they take things out on me?
32. Do they physically abuse me?
33. Do they mentally/emotionally abuse me?
34. Do they verbally abuse me?
35. Do they blame me for how they are feeling?
36. Do they blame me for things that are not my fault?
37. Do they blame me for things that they do?
38. Do they make me feel guilty?
39. Do they criticize me?
40. Do they pick fights with me?
41. Do they especially pick fights with me when things seem to be going well with us?
42. Do they treat me well in front of other people, but treat me bad when we are alone?
43. Do they seem to cut people out of their life over trivial issues?
44. Do they verbally abuse others (criticize or blame them)?
45. Do they act charming toward strangers, yet abusively toward people they know well?
46. Do they seem to switch moods very quickly?
47. Are they very manipulative?
48. Are they a very controlling person?
49. Do they seem to always focus the attention on themselves?
50. Do they deny saying and/or doing things that I know they said and did?


If you answered “yes” to many/most of the above questions, you are most likely involved with a person who has Borderline Personality Disorder. There is no “cure” for the disorder, but treatment is possible, if the person wants help. Treatment consists of medication and therapy.
Click to expand...

I know someone who has these traits; but they are bipolar and schizophrenic, and get really bad with the above traits when they are not on their meds.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top