Kind of a fucked up situation I've found myself in. Been in Cincy since I'm a teenager. started using the good shit when I was pretty young. First opiate I took was what I know now was an 8 mg dilly. I was almost 10 yrs old. My dad gave it to me when I fractured my tailbone on the way to the ER. I remembered going from screaming in pain to no pain at all. Been a dope fiend since I was 9 years old is what it really comes down to. I really like being on the nod. Ok so fast forward to an important part of my active addiction. I never copped drugs myself, and yet I always had fire dope. What I did was call a network of fiends who were like me except they had no money. They did however know where to cop the dope and rigs. So..I got my dope by "hiring" addicts in the know to cop my dope for me. I'm not really proud of it but the bottom line is that I have been locked up on a few short stints and even that scared the shit outta me. It was actually to get me clean. I've been clean almost 25 months. I know I'm supposed to say that it's all flowers, rainbows and all that other BS but the bottom line is that I'm tired of being clean and miserable. I know I'll probably get people telling me keep going back to NA meetings and to not leave 5 minutes before the miracle happens, and other bullshit I'm so sick of hearing.
I've been faced with a very hard decision. I cannot function as a human being, either with or without drugs, So what's left to do? I've decided to start using again. If it kills me...that isn't the worst possible outcome when you're not too crazy about being alive.
I think the only things keeping me from copping is that I really don't know how to do it. I mean, are some d boys really that obvious that even a novice could spot them?
I mean I know there's an inherent risk of getting caught by the 50s but thats the nature of the beast I assume.
I guess my question is this: How would you explain what to look for in finding an actively selling dope boy to an inexperienced addict?