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In month three of DP

Roadrunner - you will get better. I am 100% better now. It just takes some time.

Coffee was REALLY hard for me to give up the first time. When I was really unsure if I would ever get better, the extra anxiety it gave me sent me in a tail spin. After my second "mini-comedown" that I had last week, I said fuck it, I need coffee so I can function as a normal human being, since the slight increase in DR didn't scare me at all, I was able to do it. I do not think the coffee prolonged my DP/DR the first time, rather it just increased the anxiety about my overall situation which made me feel like crap.

Its all personal, each of our brains are wired uniquely. In my first comedown, getting out of the house was so important to my recovery. The best thing I did, was go hit the bars with my friends. After 30 min of drinking and fucking around, I couldn't even tell I was dissociated. But, again you have to find what works for you personally.

pmz - wow man, I feel for you. If I could give you any advice is that staying at home and thinking about it is not going to help you at all. At the very beginning, I though I was going to have to quit school and quit my job but I just powered through. I know that it migh not be the easiet for you but keeping busy is so important to keep your spirits up and avoid overthinking/analyzing whats going on.

My dr made me stay off of bluelight and other internet forums regarding DP and mdma damage. They did nothing for me except freak me out and make it worse.
 
Dawglaw said:
Roadrunner - you will get better. I am 100% better now. It just takes some time.

Coffee was REALLY hard for me to give up the first time. When I was really unsure if I would ever get better, the extra anxiety it gave me sent me in a tail spin. After my second "mini-comedown" that I had last week, I said fuck it, I need coffee so I can function as a normal human being, since the slight increase in DR didn't scare me at all, I was able to do it. I do not think the coffee prolonged my DP/DR the first time, rather it just increased the anxiety about my overall situation which made me feel like crap.

Its all personal, each of our brains are wired uniquely. In my first comedown, getting out of the house was so important to my recovery. The best thing I did, was go hit the bars with my friends. After 30 min of drinking and fucking around, I couldn't even tell I was dissociated. But, again you have to find what works for you personally.

pmz - wow man, I feel for you. If I could give you any advice is that staying at home and thinking about it is not going to help you at all. At the very beginning, I though I was going to have to quit school and quit my job but I just powered through. I know that it migh not be the easiet for you but keeping busy is so important to keep your spirits up and avoid overthinking/analyzing whats going on.

My dr made me stay off of bluelight and other internet forums regarding DP and mdma damage. They did nothing for me except freak me out and make it worse.
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yeah, its not easy being home. I tried powering through my job but It wasnt exactly my decision to leave work. I kinda did something to piss off my boss and was asked to leave. I wasnt exactly fired, but at this point, im just not sure how to get back to work. Maybe my reaction to be dose was a hell of a lot stronger than most people here. I know I had far too much, I might have actually burnt a few things out from it. I have no idea. My main concern is to get my emotions and sleep stable. Once then I can get my thoughts clear and be able to focus on what I want to do as far as work. For all I know all my issues are fueled from the insomnia. I know lack of sleep can cause a major decline in mental status. Im hoping thats the case for me. I would be devastated if I literally cant go back to work because I fried a few brain cells out. Im hoping with enough time, Ill be back to my old self again. Of course there will be a few mental scars to get over, but in time Ill be able to get my life back on track. Everything happens for a reason. Somehow I need to put this entire experience in to perspective and gain from it and move on.
 
Dawglaw. How's it going. I'm at about 6 months now. And dude I'm so much better. Anxiety is nearly gone. By my DP is still pretty annoying. It's getting much better though. I'm actually able to start enjoying music again finally. I don't exactly get the same emotional response from music though.
I'm wondering how you are doing by now?
Does your emotional response to music and all come back really slowly and gradually? I just wanna feel like I can rage out again. I can chill and listen to music. But I don't get all excited from my favorite songs just yet.
 
Yes. It will come back.

I had lingering DR (really bad hangovers can still bring in some strong DR for a few hours) for a long time after I became functionally 99%.

The more time that passes, the more things return to normal. Now it all seems like a distant bad dream. I'm glad things are on the up and up.
 
Sweet. How does it feel for it to come back. Does emotional response slowely get better or does one day you snap out of it? How's your memory?
 
Hey dawglaw im pretty scared that im now bipolar. Did you have mood swings? irritability? Is this normal? Everyday i have 1-2hours of anxiety and depression it can be in the morning or night. Im on my 2 months now. Thanks
 
Hey dawglaw! Hope things are good your way pal! I'm usually not good in support/recovery threads, but this one I liked for some reason. I think it was how you layered your message. Very readable. :) Also reading this has made me realize that, at one point in my life (and I can't really remember what drugs I was using... I think it was mainly nerve medication IE benzodiazepines) I experienced severe derealization. I would get caught in these loops of thought like... Why is the Universe here? What the fuck is this? What if... nothing? And bam... Scary stuff.

Anyways, I hope all is well! Stay on the up and up.
 
I'm 100% better now. Took about 8 months to come back. DR is really nasty.

My memory is fine. I don't think I had bipolar, rather just nasty imbalance and stress that made life miserable for a few months.

Time and a positive mindset (CBT helped immensely) were the keys to my recovery.
 
Hey dawglaw im pretty scared that im now bipolar. Did you have mood swings? irritability? Is this normal? Everyday i have 1-2hours of anxiety and depression it can be in the morning or night. Im on my 2 months now. Thanks
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Hello jethro1000 bipolar is something you tend to have or have not. mood swings, irratibility could literally be anything. From my experiences from being sectioned in mental hospital and meeting people with bipolar it is very extreme like totally manic or a complete crash.

I suspect the majority of what you feel is 100% anxiety fueled. That was certainly the case for me during my 2 year comedown. Although you may think you only have 1-2 hours of anxiety / depression per day I suspect its there all the time. It seems from the moment of waking up to the time of sleep our serotonin levels alter throughout the day this may explain why you feel the anxiety more extreme at certain times.

Hang in there my friend try not to focus too much on I have this therefore does it mean this! kind of trying to self diagnose all the time. Am I drug damaged forever, have I got mental illness? etc.

9/10 cases these awful long term comedowns are fueled by anxiety. All the symptoms I felt 90% of it evaporated as soon as the anxiety went this included chronic DP/DR.

Please trust me it all eventually goes and I was FUCKED UP literally.
 
Thanks for your response. im just scared that ill go crazy, suicidal etc. Sometimes i feel so tense that i just want to breakdown.
I was diagnosed by my gp that i have panic disorder with agoraphobia and i refuse to undergo medication for 9 months. i already overcome my agoraphobia and panic attacks i guess realizing that panic attacks wont kill me really helped.
All i have now is racing thoughts mood swings and excessive worrying that is causing me to be tense.
Im really trying my best to accept this as i think its the only way to overcome this. But damn its really getting hard. Their are days that youll feel normal again and then their are days that youll feel your back to 0. Its fluctuating i hope it a good sign. I recently broke up with my girlfriend for 5 years and its extremely adding to my depression.
Any advice will help as i dont want to end suicidal or mental. Lol
 
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