I have confirmed this with family. CaptainHeroin, who has been a senior moderator here for so long, has recently passed away from a tragic OD. He has helped me for very many years with harm reduction, along with countless others. He helped me laugh when no one else could. It is with great sadness I announce this to the BL community. I am weeping.
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Bluelight
Shrine
A memorial
to Bluelighters
who have passed away
I'm new here, but my condolences to the people close to him. It's not a freaking game when missing our people. Please have some peace, and peace through mourning. I'm so sorry.
This is so sad...I have been a long time lurker before finally making a member log on and I liked reading his posts...sad
ahhh, man.....
I never asked how old he was but Captain_Heroin might just have been my age judging by the oldschool approach he had towards his drug use.
Really sad to hear this for various reasons , 1st and foremost he must have helped save many people in here by convincing them that "less is more " with opiate maintenance drugs ,specially at a time when docs were prescribing ( I kid you not ) 32 mgs of Buprenorphene a day for a tramadol/codeine/vicodin addiction .
When I met him he was on Suboxone and the odd benzo now and then, he would pop a 1st generation anti histamine into the mix as well - his use of buprenorphine/1stG-AM took me back to the days when "Buprex " (0.25mgs ) and " Phenergan " tablets were our substitute for Heroin (80s - we had no approved opiate maintenance drugs - your GP would simply send you home with some clonidine, buscopan and Tramadol -some benzo too if lucky ).
I speak of "Buprex " ( which you might these days know as "temgesic " ) cause it came a point he was dosing lower than that (0.25 mgs) and achieving the state he was after.
His extreme good sense was also noted in his benzo use/advise he gave out ( at least when I interacted with him. ). This and all types of technical info about harm reduction- one of the 1st in here , at least to my knowledge, to make people aware that filtering any drug with a roach/cotton is not alright at all ( unless you know its purity even enables the need not to filter anything that is ). Always as knowledgeable as eager to learn more from people who knew what he did not. Humble basically .
I won´t lie ,I´ve been thinking of him when I ,for example ,go jogging on my own by the twilight hours -conversations and other interactions we had pop up in the most unlikely scenarios.
As I created another account to help with , yet again , another relapse , the 1st or 2nd thing I came across was this Thread. Coincidence ? It´s trendy ,nowadays , to say that there is no such thing, trendy as it may be ...as I type this the moments we shared here in the past are being relieved ,the advises he´s given me at a critical point in my life are still helping me, restraining me ...in many ways he´s still here, his memorial reminding me of my own mortality and our age which is hardly compatible with this type of drug use .
At one point or another, we´ve all had the delusion that addiction tends to afflict the best amidst us the most ...in his case I´m still struggling with the word " delusion " .
Just thought I would drop a few kind words for a "stranger" I admired nonetheless. The other day when I read it I was in shock at the coincidence, couldn´t think of anything ...today i´m just in denial and my thoughts clouded and dispersed ,at least , now able to type a few words that invoke his memory and all the good he did while amongst us .
My sincere condolences to both his family and friends .
Really sad to hear this for various reasons , 1st and foremost he must have helped save many people in here by convincing them that "less is more " with opiate maintenance drugs ,specially at a time when docs were prescribing ( I kid you not ) 32 mgs of Buprenorphene a day for a tramadol/codeine/vicodin addiction .
When I met him he was on Suboxone and the odd benzo now and then, he would pop a 1st generation anti histamine into the mix as well - his use of buprenorphine/1stG-AM took me back to the days when "Buprex " (0.25mgs ) and " Phenergan " tablets were our substitute for Heroin (80s - we had no approved opiate maintenance drugs - your GP would simply send you home with some clonidine, buscopan and Tramadol -some benzo too if lucky ).
I speak of "Buprex " ( which you might these days know as "temgesic " ) cause it came a point he was dosing lower than that (0.25 mgs) and achieving the state he was after.
His extreme good sense was also noted in his benzo use/advise he gave out ( at least when I interacted with him. ). This and all types of technical info about harm reduction- one of the 1st in here , at least to my knowledge, to make people aware that filtering any drug with a roach/cotton is not alright at all ( unless you know its purity even enables the need not to filter anything that is ). Always as knowledgeable as eager to learn more from people who knew what he did not. Humble basically .
I won´t lie ,I´ve been thinking of him when I ,for example ,go jogging on my own by the twilight hours -conversations and other interactions we had pop up in the most unlikely scenarios.
As I created another account to help with , yet again , another relapse , the 1st or 2nd thing I came across was this Thread. Coincidence ? It´s trendy ,nowadays , to say that there is no such thing, trendy as it may be ...as I type this the moments we shared here in the past are being relieved ,the advises he´s given me at a critical point in my life are still helping me, restraining me ...in many ways he´s still here, his memorial reminding me of my own mortality and our age which is hardly compatible with this type of drug use .
At one point or another, we´ve all had the delusion that addiction tends to afflict the best amidst us the most ...in his case I´m still struggling with the word " delusion " .
Just thought I would drop a few kind words for a "stranger" I admired nonetheless. The other day when I read it I was in shock at the coincidence, couldn´t think of anything ...today i´m just in denial and my thoughts clouded and dispersed ,at least , now able to type a few words that invoke his memory and all the good he did while amongst us .
My sincere condolences to both his family and friends .
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Rip homey.
I took a BL hiatus. But I remember you.
Shit, from dankstersauce to boupstarnm, it been 20 years. Try not to die folks. I know reality is ugly but don't die. There are plenty of non lethal drugs. Stay in there kids, like I don't know how this'll end lol...
I took a BL hiatus. But I remember you.
Shit, from dankstersauce to boupstarnm, it been 20 years. Try not to die folks. I know reality is ugly but don't die. There are plenty of non lethal drugs. Stay in there kids, like I don't know how this'll end lol...
i just can't take it it's been this long without me realisin mate. im truly gutted I wasn't there for ya. what on earth have I been doin'? hopefully ill be with ya soon
Miss you brother, was thinking of you yesterday 
took the words right out of my mouth...
RIP
I so wish you were still with us.
I just feel given time we could have grown together and overcome the situation....
Yeah I miss the fuck outta you but ya already know.
See ya later, my friend. See ya later........................................
I just feel given time we could have grown together and overcome the situation....
Yeah I miss the fuck outta you but ya already know.
See ya later, my friend. See ya later........................................
RIP bro. The Doom Pussy
RIP Captain. You and I had few interactions here on BL , but I always admired and learned from your posts, so dam helpful, and so sad that I t ended this way.
Me and my gf still talk about you man. I wonder what happened to that gigantic ass fantasy book he wrote.... It was like 20000 words... Lol. He would start talking and you just couldn't get him to stfu about that damn book. No matter how much I protested politely. Then rudely. Lol. Dude was one of a kind.
He would call and ask my gf for dating advice after his fiance died. That was always funny and kinda sad. Hopefully Manny was there waiting for him. I'm fairly certain it was suicide he always told me that if he overdosed that is what happened.
He would call and ask my gf for dating advice after his fiance died. That was always funny and kinda sad. Hopefully Manny was there waiting for him. I'm fairly certain it was suicide he always told me that if he overdosed that is what happened.
It doesnt really matter either way its such a tragic situation. Ive thought the same thing too man, the guy was very smart and knew so much about RC's and harm reduction. That and 2map isnt a exceedingly potent drug and someone with a baseline tolerance from being a prior opioid addict would probably need to take a substantial amount to die. Im not sure if anyone ever saw a toxicology report but if he was on benzos at the sametime it could of played a factor tho as well.
Miss you Captain, think about you alot. You've got the most active shrine thread ive ever seen on Bluelight. That right there says how much we all loved you at this place, rest easy brother
I seem to have weathered that storm, Cap.
Wishing you were here.
Always my love and thanks for looking out for a bruv.
Wishing you were here.
Always my love and thanks for looking out for a bruv.
Damn its been two yeara huh
He was taking bromazolam with it. The combo could do it easily. He didn't have an active tolerance. I feel bad for not wanting to hang out with him not too long before he died, he lived pretty close and said he knew a good korean barbecue place, and I had actually met him years ago, though we didn't really hang out for long, mainly to exchange drugs (i had something he wanted and he had something i wanted). But i guess im not that social of a person, and I'm not a fan of restaurants anyhow. Or going places.
He was definitely different, a very nice guy too. Very friendly, and extremely gregarious.
RIP ya homo, miss you man, you were a rare one.
*also for the record I don't think he committed suicide. I think it was accidental. He didn't have a tolerance at the time, and 2MAP can cause strong respiratory depression at high doses, which when coupled with bromazolam, could easily result in death. He actually wasn't too experienced with RC's, having used more street drugs than anything else. More so was reckless drug use though, which naturally has a suicidal slant to it, and of course he was known to have suicidal ideation, or perhaps idolization. But i bet it was mostly an accident
It doesnt really matter either way its such a tragic situation. Ive thought the same thing too man, the guy was very smart and knew so much about RC's and harm reduction. That and 2map isnt a exceedingly potent drug and someone with a baseline tolerance from being a prior opioid addict would probably need to take a substantial amount to die. Im not sure if anyone ever saw a toxicology report but if he was on benzos at the sametime it could of played a factor tho as well.
Miss you Captain, think about you alot. You've got the most active shrine thread ive ever seen on Bluelight. That right there says how much we all loved you at this place, rest easy brother
He was taking bromazolam with it. The combo could do it easily. He didn't have an active tolerance. I feel bad for not wanting to hang out with him not too long before he died, he lived pretty close and said he knew a good korean barbecue place, and I had actually met him years ago, though we didn't really hang out for long, mainly to exchange drugs (i had something he wanted and he had something i wanted). But i guess im not that social of a person, and I'm not a fan of restaurants anyhow. Or going places.
He was definitely different, a very nice guy too. Very friendly, and extremely gregarious.
RIP ya homo, miss you man, you were a rare one.
*also for the record I don't think he committed suicide. I think it was accidental. He didn't have a tolerance at the time, and 2MAP can cause strong respiratory depression at high doses, which when coupled with bromazolam, could easily result in death. He actually wasn't too experienced with RC's, having used more street drugs than anything else. More so was reckless drug use though, which naturally has a suicidal slant to it, and of course he was known to have suicidal ideation, or perhaps idolization. But i bet it was mostly an accident
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