elstongunn39
Bluelighter
- Joined
- May 30, 2014
- Messages
- 174
I have had terrible insomnia ever since my Lyme infection this summer. It gets worse (gets in intense feedback loops) with stress and school. Working on my thesis. I feel like I am destroying my body. Have pulled all nighters and not gotten anything done, just stayed up because I couldn't sleep--numerous nights. It hasn't bumped up my blood pressure a ton yet, but I know it will. I don't want to live like this and I don't want to die young... I would rather commit suicide than become a stressed unhealthy middle aged person I am 22 I used to be young and healthy and my mind was strong I want to die if I can't turn this around i feel like i'm experiencing all the negative effects of being a meth user with none of the actual positives or energy or pleasure of it... i just get stressed and stay up all night all the time won't this ruin me? i'd rather die i want to be healthy but iid rather die than be a pathetic piece of adrenaline soaked meat
I don't have the guts/means to now. but my next paycheck is going toward a gun or to some fentanyl/phenobarbital/cyanide off the darknet
I don't have the guts/means to now. but my next paycheck is going toward a gun or to some fentanyl/phenobarbital/cyanide off the darknet