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I'm dying, and yes, you can help.

Much love, health and respect to you sir. You seem to be handling this thoughtfully and with great self awareness.

If I were in your shoes, I might want my wife to trip-sit with me somewhere alone out in nature. Using LSD to heal and accept, I would want someone there with whom I felt comfortable discussing my experience as it was happening. I would also want to be outdoors, where I could feel the vastness of the universe around me and my connectedness to it.
 
I know you said LSD or 2-CB, but for your personal journey to acceptance and healing Ayahuasca is the best I can imagine for those specific needs.

Mushrooms have also shown me what lies beneath death, or at least that's what I make of it, LSD never did those things for me, it showed me other truths, but I'm sure that's personal and LSD is just as capable for healing purposes.

For healing I'd make a long playlist with music that moves you on an emotional level, make yourself comfortable and meditate beforehand, just focus on your breath, slow your mind down, let your thoughts pass... make a ritual out of it, clearly stating your intentions and meditating on them.Do some breathing exercises and prepare for your journey.

Dim the lights, light some candles (be safe of course), lay down on a mattress, couch, bed etc.., get yourself a blanket and a blindfold if you need to go deeper (a Mindfold is great) and immerse yourself in whatever that comes.

I really hope this helped, take care and stay strong!
 
I would recommend 5-MeO-DMT. A white light experience is very powerful in an unexplainable way.
 
Weak Sauce said:
(P.S. I am not a religious man in anyway, so I am open to "spiritual" with a lower case "s", but please no scripture or anything. Thanks.)
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As you're open to spiritual things, i'd recommend looking into zazen meditation during one of your trips. while it is a buddhist practice, you don't necessarily need to be a buddhist in order to focus your mind inward, as is done during zazen meditation. the link i provided goes into a little detail on the philosophy, and mostly focuses on the form and physical aspects.
 
You mean Shikantaza. Zazen just means "sitting in silence".
 
DMT is my reco. It will give a glimpse beyond the veil and is relatively benign on the body. I would not advise salvia. Tried it twice and both experiences were horrible. Powerful yes but horrible. DMT is equally if not more powerful and after many journeys on it i think its what you are looking for.
 
i was under the impression that Shikantaza was 'just sitting' while zazen was 'seated meditation', the act of just sitting without thought or manta vs. meditation while seated? I would love clarification between the two if i've misunderstood.
 
That is correct. :D

But the word meditation does only exist in the west, it is just a mystification (ego manifestation) of simple sitting without purpose. Meditation is actually misleading later, but it is good to entice curious beginners.
 
savebees said:
i was under the impression that Shikantaza was 'just sitting' while zazen was 'seated meditation', the act of just sitting without thought or manta vs. meditation while seated? I would love clarification between the two if i've misunderstood.
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Zazen also includes breath work and stuff like focusing on the tanden and sitting in a very specific way.
 
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