I'm Done.

[Man in the Dark]

Hey man I hope you are still with us. I am in a similar situation as you are and believe me I know how it feels to want to end it all. There is one thing that keeps me from offing myself and it is the horrible childhood I had to endure after my father shot himself and I don't want my son to go through what I had to. So please think about your kids, I live in south Fl also Feel free to PM me anytime if u need any help.

 

[misylos]

I pray you are still around to update your situation...

 

[Phobicgadfly]

Tell us more about your children? Are they in your life today?

 

[oxygirlinct]

Your kids need you, you have so much to live for. If your wife makes you miserable, leave her.

I hope you find happiness - it sounds like you have a lot of great talent and sources of happiness (guitar, etc.)

I'm so glad you are still here.

 

[riddla420]

Thank you so much everyone for replying. I am still alive. I hate to be a whiny little bitch,I apologize I know you guys all have your own tales of hell and back also,and I hate to make this about me . This is just the longest I have ever been in hell .This is worse than detoxing from H or Oxys. It is just so damn depressing to be locked on this subutex for so long. I hate it but it has the death grip on my receptors. I don't sleep very much at all. last night I got 5 hrs ,and it was the first time in a while. Yeah ,I still think death would be better than my life ,but I just cannot put my Kids through that trauma,so I will just trudge on. I still think of suicide a lot,but I just don't have that luxury now. Mainly for my 11 year old daughter. Thank you all again.

 

[Robertson33]

First thing you should do is get the words "death" and "suicide" out of your vocabulary! You don't want to leave your children. You don't want to miss them playing sports or teaching them how to do new things or miss their graduations do you? You can get through it, man! Take it a day at a time and try to keep a positive attitude and look at your children's smiles and see how happy they are when you're around. You don't wanna leave that... Good luck!!

 

[nalvan]

glad to hear you didnt make anything stupid man. Every time you feel like you're living in hell and you cant go on no more, remember that thats how your kids will be if you take a wrong decision. Keep up with the deto and when you feel you just cant make it think in them, and do it for them (and for you). You can PM me if you want, im not the most active member but still, if you need to talk im here.

 

[Sanesister]

Don't ever give up hope. My mom went off and couldn't be found for 12 hours. She tried to die drinking antifreeze and Diet Coke. She was found in a nasty hotel floor. I felt like I was not enough for her to live for. That is a horrible feeling. I didn't think that she loved me enough to live. Don't put your 3 kids through what I have been through. My childhood was not great. It sounds like you are a terrific dad and they love you more than you will
ever know!