I know how you feel, I am an addict, but I am also a PMP. I have service connected injuries from the military. I take only methadone because I don't trust myself with anything else and subutex unfortunately doesn't do shit for actual pain (for me at least). I was taking 200 mg a day. But I manged to get down to 50 in like a weeks time. I could probably go lower, but I just don't want to feel the pain any more especially considering I JUST moved to VA, have not even started my new job yet, and my lower spine looks like a fucking birds nest, so I feel like maybe it is okay if I take a little freaking methadone to dull the pain.
In fact I have had such a problem finding a pain management doctor here that will write me more than 10 mg of methadone because I am 29 (no matter how bad my MRI looks) that I have been forced to go to a methadone clinic. But I will not complain, because everything else in my life for the first time in a VERY long time is actually going right.