PurpleWizzard
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Feb 18, 2017
- Messages
- 4
Hi. I've had had ADHD for a long time, i've been on ritalin and concerta for a long time. i could not control the use of those pills, i would end up abusing them. highly rewarding, but i had to increased them because they were not stimulant enough, i notice now that. i was still looking for strong stimuli, a form of promiscuity, attention seeker, blurry things like that. what i'm trying to say in this paragraph is that i have adhd that was poorly controlled even with high doses of reuptake inhibitors and that i inevitably ended up abusing them.
im not certain how i came across the idea that meth could be used as a therapy for ADHD. now i remember, there was this popular pop article in the past weeks around the internet of a neurologist saying that aderall is the same thing than meth. so i made some research and found out about the medical use of the stuff for the condition. here in mexico they don't sell amps for release of dopamine, only reuptake inhibitors, so just methylphenidate. i always wanted to try aderall because i understand that its different in its action and maybe that was the thing for me. no way to find aderall here at all.
so i read that there are people that are frustrated because the medical meth is difficult to obtain or expensive even for therapeutic purposes. i must here tell that my post here is related to therapeutic affairs, not recreational. i have snorted ice before and it just gives be a powerful paranoia, to the point that i have to shut down all lights in the house, get into bed and pray nobody comes because i would freak out. oh, i also have bipolar and take olanzapine and fluoxetine on small doses (5 and 20) and lamotrigine in a fairly large dose (500 mg). returning to the subject. these people were saying they had no other choice but to buy the stuff from the street. end of second paragraph.
i continue researching and find out that street meth is almost never close to be pure, maybe 50, maybe 20% or sometimes it is not even meth at all. or it is the amphetamine without the methyl group. still i decided to give it a try. i had some problems to resolve first. how was i going to know how strong or weak each "batch" is (here they come in 5$ bags, 10$ for a gram) and how was i going to know the right dose. for the first question i had an idea. to buy each time more than what i would consume, so that i would start building up an airtight bottle with meth and each time i got more i put it with the rest of it (everything made powder first). by mixing the entire bottle the chances of a radical change in a sample would be minimized. for the second question it was going to be a matter of testing. starting from the reference of the 10/10 they prescribed medically (i know, barely a frame of reference). i bought a miligram scale, i dont have it yet its shipped, it was only 10$ so i have been using what looks like a crushed pill of 10 mg of ritalin, around that volume. first with coffee, then juice, then just plain water, i have been drinking it 2 or 3 times a day.
the thing worked, and i have gone three times again to the place, where now they are starting to take me as a regular, anyway, open space, during the day, police around, everything is calm. i still have no way to know if the doses come from the same batch. now i wonder if the other components of the street meth, here they call it ice, i don't yet understand the difference, might be highly toxic, ive hear about battery acid? if i want to do this on the long term i could get cancer i imagine. i don't know at this point. the legal thing i don't care, if im busted i'm busted i just need to be medicated to live. and i only buy what they tell me is one gram, every 3 days.
the things is that the thing works. first i was scared about the addiction potential, but it was wonderful to realize that actually this stuff didn't create cravings for more, like it was the case with the methylphenidate, which i would go blister after blister, trying to satisfy something, never achieving it only getting mentally and physically exhausted. so this thing doesn't make me crave, i'm not looking at the watch or anything like that, what i'm saying is that i am not trying to control myself, simply because i dont have the craving.
the thing is powerful, but i understand the risk of a small (and of a large of course, death) overdose. yesterday i felt very clear headed, all my symptoms under control. no euphoria and not looking for it. but then paranoia took place and i had to go hide and i closed my eyes and i saw demons, snakes, all that. they were not hallucinations, they were the type of images that we see when we close our eyes. i was not terrified, i was contained but understanding that i was governed by paranoia and that it was just a matter of waiting, and so it was.
today i gave it a try again in the morning and it worked beautifully, i worked and all the things, and i got what i found in a forum that they called "emotional centerdness" which is characteristic of meth and not of any other ADHD drug. i found it, got that sense of emotional self collection. not only the classic symptoms of ADHD were controlled, but also the emotional ones. interesting thing is that after 4 hours i got hungry, i went to eat, and for the first time ever, i was eating calmly because i usually eat like a stupid. not chewing properly, swallowing before, like if i was in a sense of urgency, well that was gone. many other positive things like that took place. i appreciated classical music for the first time and was able to have it as a musical background without having it messing with my thoughts.
now, i am not promoting street meth. the dose thing i think i can figure out once i have a large batch that will diffuse the difference of added salts with different concentration. yes, it will never be perfect. the other thing is the dosing, i think that with the miligram scalle i will be able to have consistent amounts of salts (again, i understand that there will be variability). imagine that i got some good money, like 100$ and i buy all the meth i can with that, here in mexico is a lot, but again i don't know the contents, i just know that it works. so i get that large batch, i made it all powder and mix. i sample one dose and then i will know the concentration of the entire batch! so i have stability in strength and dose at least for some weeks.
do you thing this is stupid? is it more stupid to be less functional and abusing ritalin? snorted ritalin can cause a stroke for what i know, and all that powder in the sinuses. all because i find no satisfaction. now the oral dose doesn't cause me cravings, but i don't know how safe this practice is... i also dont yet understand the dynamics of the thing.... sometimes i take the dose and fall asleep in an unplanned nap. i think there are several stages of the effect, in one of them one has hunger, but it is still acting in things like emotional balance, then comes a hunger that is again caused by understimulation, so at that point i understand its over and time to redose. i am between 4 to 6 hours. i cannot afford to stop taking the meds because of my work (i write, i have to concentrate) and because i have to manage my life, my department. so... i just wanted to say that. the thing works, but at what cost?
there is definitely something that makes meth far superior than methylphenidate. ritalin seems now like a lolly pop to calm the hunger, never achieving it. the meth does it, but what is the price?
if you read this, thank you for you time. i invite you to drop a line (lol) please.
im not certain how i came across the idea that meth could be used as a therapy for ADHD. now i remember, there was this popular pop article in the past weeks around the internet of a neurologist saying that aderall is the same thing than meth. so i made some research and found out about the medical use of the stuff for the condition. here in mexico they don't sell amps for release of dopamine, only reuptake inhibitors, so just methylphenidate. i always wanted to try aderall because i understand that its different in its action and maybe that was the thing for me. no way to find aderall here at all.
so i read that there are people that are frustrated because the medical meth is difficult to obtain or expensive even for therapeutic purposes. i must here tell that my post here is related to therapeutic affairs, not recreational. i have snorted ice before and it just gives be a powerful paranoia, to the point that i have to shut down all lights in the house, get into bed and pray nobody comes because i would freak out. oh, i also have bipolar and take olanzapine and fluoxetine on small doses (5 and 20) and lamotrigine in a fairly large dose (500 mg). returning to the subject. these people were saying they had no other choice but to buy the stuff from the street. end of second paragraph.
i continue researching and find out that street meth is almost never close to be pure, maybe 50, maybe 20% or sometimes it is not even meth at all. or it is the amphetamine without the methyl group. still i decided to give it a try. i had some problems to resolve first. how was i going to know how strong or weak each "batch" is (here they come in 5$ bags, 10$ for a gram) and how was i going to know the right dose. for the first question i had an idea. to buy each time more than what i would consume, so that i would start building up an airtight bottle with meth and each time i got more i put it with the rest of it (everything made powder first). by mixing the entire bottle the chances of a radical change in a sample would be minimized. for the second question it was going to be a matter of testing. starting from the reference of the 10/10 they prescribed medically (i know, barely a frame of reference). i bought a miligram scale, i dont have it yet its shipped, it was only 10$ so i have been using what looks like a crushed pill of 10 mg of ritalin, around that volume. first with coffee, then juice, then just plain water, i have been drinking it 2 or 3 times a day.
the thing worked, and i have gone three times again to the place, where now they are starting to take me as a regular, anyway, open space, during the day, police around, everything is calm. i still have no way to know if the doses come from the same batch. now i wonder if the other components of the street meth, here they call it ice, i don't yet understand the difference, might be highly toxic, ive hear about battery acid? if i want to do this on the long term i could get cancer i imagine. i don't know at this point. the legal thing i don't care, if im busted i'm busted i just need to be medicated to live. and i only buy what they tell me is one gram, every 3 days.
the things is that the thing works. first i was scared about the addiction potential, but it was wonderful to realize that actually this stuff didn't create cravings for more, like it was the case with the methylphenidate, which i would go blister after blister, trying to satisfy something, never achieving it only getting mentally and physically exhausted. so this thing doesn't make me crave, i'm not looking at the watch or anything like that, what i'm saying is that i am not trying to control myself, simply because i dont have the craving.
the thing is powerful, but i understand the risk of a small (and of a large of course, death) overdose. yesterday i felt very clear headed, all my symptoms under control. no euphoria and not looking for it. but then paranoia took place and i had to go hide and i closed my eyes and i saw demons, snakes, all that. they were not hallucinations, they were the type of images that we see when we close our eyes. i was not terrified, i was contained but understanding that i was governed by paranoia and that it was just a matter of waiting, and so it was.
today i gave it a try again in the morning and it worked beautifully, i worked and all the things, and i got what i found in a forum that they called "emotional centerdness" which is characteristic of meth and not of any other ADHD drug. i found it, got that sense of emotional self collection. not only the classic symptoms of ADHD were controlled, but also the emotional ones. interesting thing is that after 4 hours i got hungry, i went to eat, and for the first time ever, i was eating calmly because i usually eat like a stupid. not chewing properly, swallowing before, like if i was in a sense of urgency, well that was gone. many other positive things like that took place. i appreciated classical music for the first time and was able to have it as a musical background without having it messing with my thoughts.
now, i am not promoting street meth. the dose thing i think i can figure out once i have a large batch that will diffuse the difference of added salts with different concentration. yes, it will never be perfect. the other thing is the dosing, i think that with the miligram scalle i will be able to have consistent amounts of salts (again, i understand that there will be variability). imagine that i got some good money, like 100$ and i buy all the meth i can with that, here in mexico is a lot, but again i don't know the contents, i just know that it works. so i get that large batch, i made it all powder and mix. i sample one dose and then i will know the concentration of the entire batch! so i have stability in strength and dose at least for some weeks.
do you thing this is stupid? is it more stupid to be less functional and abusing ritalin? snorted ritalin can cause a stroke for what i know, and all that powder in the sinuses. all because i find no satisfaction. now the oral dose doesn't cause me cravings, but i don't know how safe this practice is... i also dont yet understand the dynamics of the thing.... sometimes i take the dose and fall asleep in an unplanned nap. i think there are several stages of the effect, in one of them one has hunger, but it is still acting in things like emotional balance, then comes a hunger that is again caused by understimulation, so at that point i understand its over and time to redose. i am between 4 to 6 hours. i cannot afford to stop taking the meds because of my work (i write, i have to concentrate) and because i have to manage my life, my department. so... i just wanted to say that. the thing works, but at what cost?
there is definitely something that makes meth far superior than methylphenidate. ritalin seems now like a lolly pop to calm the hunger, never achieving it. the meth does it, but what is the price?
if you read this, thank you for you time. i invite you to drop a line (lol) please.
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