I want to quit stealing pills from my GF…

[HeathenGA]

I’ve been stealing pills from my girlfriend and she doesn’t know it. I was abusing her Focalin IR 10mg for awhile and then I talked to her about it and got clean… it didn’t last very long. I went maybe 5-10 days and then started stealing them from her again. I lied about it to her and then she got a refill and I started stealing from that. I thought that I would be able to manage it in a way that she wouldn’t notice, but about an hour ago I went to grab another pill and realized that her 30 day supply is now down to 11 pills. This was a moment of realization for me, and I think I want to quit for real this time. I’ve done tons of research on it over the last couple days and found that Hydroxyzine can help manage the withdrawal symptoms of amphetamines in 25-50mg doses. As it turns out, she was prescribed Hydroxyzine for her anxiety. She has about 250 pills and she rarely ever uses them because they’re supposed to be used for anxiety attacks which rarely happen. I’ve taken a few of them before (with her permission) and I think that if I talk to her about it and explain what I’ve been doing and tell her how I want to quit that she will most likely go along with my plan. I don’t want to turn into an addict and steal from her. It feels terrible to think that I’ve been doing all this behind her back. But as I said before, tomorrow I’m going to tell her what I’ve done and ask for her help. I wanted to make a post about this because maybe some of you could give me advice on how to handle the withdrawal period. I refuse to let this ruin my relationship anymore than it already has. Thank you for taking the time to read this and I hope all of y’all are happy, healthy, and doing well! Peace out y’all

 

[Nurse Ratched]

When a family member( or GF )has a script it is easy for us to help ourselves. Especially when the bottle is right out in plain view. I have done it myself on many occasions and the person always knows. They are short on pills and it is blatantly obvious who the culprit is. Addiction at it's worst.

I take it Focalin is a stimulant? In that case hydroxyzine is an antihistamine that would probably make you drowsy and dry mouthed. Is that what you are aiming for ? A much better stimulant replacement would be 3 grams of kratom and a cup of coffee. In low doses kratom is quite stimulating. In higher doses it is more sedating.

Ask your girlfriend to keep her bottle of Focalin out of your reach. Does she work? She could keep it in her locker. It would also prevent you from searching for her meds when she is gone if she hides it in your house. You are going to go hunting for it and it never ends well.

All the best, man. Stay strong.

 

[HeathenGA]

When a family member( or GF )has a script it is easy for us to help ourselves. Especially when the bottle is right out in plain view. I have done it myself on many occasions and the person always knows. They are short on pills and it is blatantly obvious who the culprit is. Addiction at it's worst.

I take it Focalin is a stimulant? In that case hydroxyzine is an antihistamine that would probably make you drowsy and dry mouthed. Is that what you are aiming for ? A much better stimulant replacement would be 3 grams of kratom and a cup of coffee. In low doses kratom is quite stimulating. In higher doses it is more sedating.

Ask your girlfriend to keep her bottle of Focalin out of your reach. Does she work? She could keep it in her locker. It would also prevent you from searching for her meds when she is gone if she hides it in your house. You are going to go hunting for it and it never ends well.

All the best, man. Stay strong.

She goes to college Monday thru Friday and usually I’m at the house alone. Unfortunately there’s not many places she could hide them where I wouldn’t be able to find them. I’m gonna have to rely mostly on my willpower. As for the Hydroxyzine, I read somewhere that it can be used to relax patients going through stimulant withdrawal, and yes Focalin would be the stimulant, it’s also called Dexmethylphenidate and is about twice as potent as Ritalin. My idea was that I could take a small dose of about 25-50mg of Hydroxyzine by mouth once a day and put myself in a slightly sedated mood to reduce the urges of wanting more Focalin. At least that’s what the studies say works best. I’m not 100% sure that it will help get rid of the urges completely but there are a couple articles that suggested a dose in that range could help alleviate the withdrawal side effects and urges.
Thank you for the reply! You stay strong as well!

 

[Nurse Ratched]

If you have access to the hydrox as she has lots go for it. It will surely help calm your nerves. I'm rooting for you but take it from an ex pill popper. Willpower is fine but only gets you so far. Have her keep them at college and bring home 2 for herself on Friday for the weekend.

You may be different but I can't have anything around that I have abused. Just can't control myself. Whether it's mine or not my addict brain wants it to be mine and I justify it because of my addiction. Awful compulsion it is. It's what I hated most about my addiction. I paid money for plenty but also stole my fair share. God, I'm glad that's over. Boatload of shame for that . Godspeed.

 

[polarthedog]

If you have access to the hydrox as she has lots go for it. It will surely help calm your nerves. I'm rooting for you but take it from an ex pill popper. Willpower is fine but only gets you so far. Have her keep them at college and bring home 2 for herself on Friday for the weekend.

You may be different but I can't have anything around that I have abused. Just can't control myself. Whether it's mine or not my addict brain wants it to be mine and I justify it because of my addiction. Awful compulsion it is. It's what I hated most about my addiction. I paid money for plenty but also stole my fair share. God, I'm glad that's over. Boatload of shame for that . Godspeed.

I agree with this, you won’t be able to not reach for the bottle if’s its around, i know you said you don’t want to become an addict, but the fact is you already are, if you could say no, you already would have.

That being said, I have stolen pills from my girlfriend before too, I told her, and I don’t do that anymore. I still take drugs, and she gives me her pills, provided I ask first.

You can do this, your gonna feel like shit for atleast a week, during that time your going to go insane with cravings, and will look for anything to relieve them. Like pumpkin said, go get yourself some kratom, just be sure not to start a new addiction, I’d say don’t use it for more than two weeks.

Happens to the best of us, if she loves you, she’ll forgive you, and she’s probably already knows, I’m sure she can see how many pills are missing, she probably just doesn’t know what to do.

No point in beating yourself up about it, move on and become a better man

 

[HeathenGA]

make her read this article you worth here

I did. She took it about as can be expected. But I think we’ve reached an understanding and we’re working together to try and move past this. I’ve locked up the pills in a box and given her the only key. I’m probably going to add a second lock and give her those keys too because the temptation is still hard to overcome. But we’re working on it. Thank you everyone for the support!

 

[dragonix]

Oh good luck nice aspiration I don't blame you nor think you're a bad bf for taking them it's an addictive drug but she might not likey if she knew maybe if you stop you can tell her to give you some accountability with future access to them?

Not telling you to tell her you took them but what if she runs out and needs some before tje script can be filled ya?

I have entered a high school drug buddy's home Brent once snagged a key to his place went inside when no one was there didn't force entry like I did one time to my cousin's dorm apartment lol like seven guys lived there would have been jumped sideways if someone came home early from vacation and Brent caught me in my cousin's I spent the night after kicking in the door was tweaking hard on adderall during that time focalin is also addictive as I entered my friend Brent's home without permission and got some out of the bottle in the kitchen cabinet he ended up finding out about lmao he actually caught me with two other friends one Morgan the guy who went to prison making meth right out of a city house on a busy main street wtf right after high school so I am leaving the cousins apartment wearing shoes from Brent's bedroom he instantly knew I had also been in his apartment he lived in with his Mom so they see me with all the video game consoles and games in pillow cases carrying them to my car across the street dude I put it all back because I thought one of them would snitch to them plus my parents found out I was there at least my dad fixed the door the cops didn't get called nothing looked touched I put all the consoles back before my dad comes to investigate they ratted to someone my sister probably heard and told my parents about the break-in of course my dad told my uncle and cuz knew that was the end of me partying with them shortly went to rehab after this was at the height of my ADHD drug tweaking stayed clean for years but when I returned to using it was using on steroids but not steroids if you get me

I also stole from two random people's apartments benzos and opiates had no respect for not trespassing on people's property like invading their living space a stranger virtually in their bathroom when they are not home dude a drug monster in reality scary shit a man taking your drugs out of your bathroom without your knowledge nor permission when you are not home

That being said an issue like this can escalate good you are honest with us at least obviously it's not the worst thing you could do but it's not helping her either lol

 

[Nurse Ratched]

Oh good luck nice aspiration I don't blame you nor think you're a bad bf for taking them it's an addictive drug but she might not likey if she knew maybe if you stop you can tell her to give you some accountability with future access to them?

Not telling you to tell her you took them but what if she runs out and needs some before tje script can be filled ya?

I have entered a high school drug buddy's home Brent once snagged a key to his place went inside when no one was there didn't force entry like I did one time to my cousin's dorm apartment lol like seven guys lived there would have been jumped sideways if someone came home early from vacation and Brent caught me in my cousin's I spent the night after kicking in the door was tweaking hard on adderall during that time focalin is also addictive as I entered my friend Brent's home without permission and got some out of the bottle in the kitchen cabinet he ended up finding out about lmao he actually caught me with two other friends one Morgan the guy who went to prison making meth right out of a city house on a busy main street wtf right after high school so I am leaving the cousins apartment wearing shoes from Brent's bedroom he instantly knew I had also been in his apartment he lived in with his Mom so they see me with all the video game consoles and games in pillow cases carrying them to my car across the street dude I put it all back because I thought one of them would snitch to them plus my parents found out I was there at least my dad fixed the door the cops didn't get called nothing looked touched I put all the consoles back before my dad comes to investigate they ratted to someone my sister probably heard and told my parents about the break-in of course my dad told my uncle and cuz knew that was the end of me partying with them shortly went to rehab after this was at the height of my ADHD drug tweaking stayed clean for years but when I returned to using it was using on steroids but not steroids if you get me

I also stole from two random people's apartments benzos and opiates had no respect for not trespassing on people's property like invading their living space a stranger virtually in their bathroom when they are not home dude a drug monster in reality scary shit a man taking your drugs out of your bathroom without your knowledge nor permission when you are not home

That being said an issue like this can escalate good you are honest with us at least obviously it's not the worst thing you could do but it's not helping her either lol

Thanks for sharing that. We all have done things we aren't proud of. If we all had a free steady supply of our doc there wouldn't be any crime stats at all amongst our kind. It was the need ( or so we thought ) that drove us to betray our own morals. I have forgiven myself, and the people I have stolen from have forgiven me, so it makes my soul feel better.

 

[n3ophy7e]

I did. She took it about as can be expected. But I think we’ve reached an understanding and we’re working together to try and move past this. I’ve locked up the pills in a box and given her the only key. I’m probably going to add a second lock and give her those keys too because the temptation is still hard to overcome. But we’re working on it. Thank you everyone for the support!

That is a fantastic step, well done I'm glad you guys are working through this

Just a word of caution though, and please either take it or leave it....I have had addiction problems that have been extremely destructive and disruptive to all aspects of my life for a very long time, and my addictive and self-destructive behaviours have ruined several amazing relationships in which the ONLY problem was my addiction. I have also been in several heavily co-dependent relationships, so I have learned a lot about what's okay and what's very not-okay in a relationship.

My cautionary advice is: always remember that your addiction is YOUR RESPONSIBILITY. Don't put any aspect of your addiction or your recovery in someone else's hands. It's not fair on them, and it will not help you recover. So whilst it is great that you have locked away the pills and that she has the only key, that is not the solution to your problem. You still need to address your addiction, and you should eventually be able to get to a point where she doesn't have to lock the pills away.

I take Antabuse for my alcoholism, and I've slipped up a few times over the years by stopping taking my pills with the sole intent of being able to drink. People have often suggested that I have my partner administer the Antabuse to me so that they know I cannot drink. But just like the key to the locked box with your gf's pills in it, ultimately it's not fair to place that responsibility in the hands of someone else. If I WANT to be sober, if I WANT to recover, I have to take the Antabuse myself.

Does that make sense?

 

[HeathenGA]

That is a fantastic step, well done I'm glad you guys are working through this

Just a word of caution though, and please either take it or leave it....I have had addiction problems that have been extremely destructive and disruptive to all aspects of my life for a very long time, and my addictive and self-destructive behaviours have ruined several amazing relationships in which the ONLY problem was my addiction. I have also been in several heavily co-dependent relationships, so I have learned a lot about what's okay and what's very not-okay in a relationship.

My cautionary advice is: always remember that your addiction is YOUR RESPONSIBILITY. Don't put any aspect of your addiction or your recovery in someone else's hands. It's not fair on them, and it will not help you recover. So whilst it is great that you have locked away the pills and that she has the only key, that is not the solution to your problem. You still need to address your addiction, and you should eventually be able to get to a point where she doesn't have to lock the pills away.

I take Antabuse for my alcoholism, and I've slipped up a few times over the years by stopping taking my pills with the sole intent of being able to drink. People have often suggested that I have my partner administer the Antabuse to me so that they know I cannot drink. But just like the key to the locked box with your gf's pills in it, ultimately it's not fair to place that responsibility in the hands of someone else. If I WANT to be sober, if I WANT to recover, I have to take the Antabuse myself.

Does that make sense?

That absolutely makes sense. I thought earlier today that I had finally reached a point where I truly want to be sober and get away from this. And I’m not proud of what I’m about to say, I already cut another pill into 4ths. There’s a line waiting for me… I’m still debating just wasting it and wiping the counter and sweeping the floor to get rid of it… but if she see’s 3/4s of a pill in her bottle she’ll know I used again. I keep bouncing back and forth between doing the right thing and going right back to old habits. I wish I could say that it’s been long enough and that if I use again it won’t lead me back into that lifestyle… but it’s only been a week. By the time y’all read this I’ll either have taken the pill or thrown it away. I don’t get on this site very often so I’ll update y’all as soon as I come back online. Thanks for the support guys. You have no idea how much it means to me. I feel like if I take this I’m letting myself, my girlfriend, and all of you down. I don’t want to be like this anymore but it’s a serious internal struggle. I’ve made some serious progress and I hope y’all don’t look down on me for relapsing. I’m sorry y’all. Somebody recommended that I check out The Dark Side threads… I think I’m gonna do that.

 

[HeathenGA]

I’m sorry y’all

 

[Phobos]

That absolutely makes sense. I thought earlier today that I had finally reached a point where I truly want to be sober and get away from this. And I’m not proud of what I’m about to say, I already cut another pill into 4ths. There’s a line waiting for me… I’m still debating just wasting it and wiping the counter and sweeping the floor to get rid of it… but if she see’s 3/4s of a pill in her bottle she’ll know I used again. I keep bouncing back and forth between doing the right thing and going right back to old habits. I wish I could say that it’s been long enough and that if I use again it won’t lead me back into that lifestyle… but it’s only been a week. By the time y’all read this I’ll either have taken the pill or thrown it away. I don’t get on this site very often so I’ll update y’all as soon as I come back online. Thanks for the support guys. You have no idea how much it means to me. I feel like if I take this I’m letting myself, my girlfriend, and all of you down. I don’t want to be like this anymore but it’s a serious internal struggle. I’ve made some serious progress and I hope y’all don’t look down on me for relapsing. I’m sorry y’all. Somebody recommended that I check out The Dark Side threads… I think I’m gonna do that.

Did you take it yet?

 

[n3ophy7e]

I’m sorry y’all

You took it huh. Don't be sorry to us mate What's done is done. Feelings of shame, guilt and regret are only going to lead you to do it again. But you should be honest with your gf as soon as you can. Honesty is the best policy in these situations.

 

[HeathenGA]

You took it huh. Don't be sorry to us mate What's done is done. Feelings of shame, guilt and regret are only going to lead you to do it again. But you should be honest with your gf as soon as you can. Honesty is the best policy in these situations.

I did. The thing about amphetamines, (I’m guessing y’all already know this) is that I’m still here, it’s not like weed or opioids so I can still understand what I did… that’s the bad part about them. I’m still all here afterwards. I did end up using. I took half a pill, then jumped in the shower. It’s 3:30am where I am and I probably won’t sleep tonight. My sleep schedule is fucked enough as it is too. I feel guilty (as I should). And that’s not me feeling sorry for myself either, I know that what I did wasn’t right. I still have half a pill left, I’m gonna do an experiment tomorrow, the way this drug is making me feel isn’t the same as it was… it’s different. Before when I would use I wouldn’t feel anything. I never felt bad about it. I always was self centered and never thought about how I was effecting the lives of the people around me. I was always concerned with myself and that was it. It made me feel good… that’s not the case anymore. Like yeah, I feel high, I feel wired… but it’s not making me feel happy… I think this is my chance to realize that going back to this isn’t going to make things better… only worse. I missed the drip A LOT… but it’s not the same. I feel high but not happy. I put the other half of the pill in a tupplewear container, I’m gonna hold onto it (and yes I know this is a bad idea, but it’s just an experiment… if it goes bad then the worse thing that happens is I get high and get sober again (as I can’t take more than 1 pill out of her bottle or she’ll notice)), the plan is to hold onto it and not use… if and when I want to quit I should have the willpower to stop using even if I have access, this is where I’m going to put myself to the test. I know that I don’t have to feel bad about this. Most people with addictions to harder drugs relapse at least once before getting sober (if they manage to get sober)… but I can’t help it. I feel like I let not only myself and my girlfriend down, but I also let y’all down. Y’all have been supportive of me, and I used to think this was a website for drug addicts and those curious about drugs… it’s much more than that. Y’all are rooting for me, my girlfriend, hell I even talked to my parents about it (apparently my family has history of abuse and addiction)… everyone is supporting me like I never thought possible. And I let all of you down. I am sorry. But I won’t let this stop me. This was a bump in the road (literally lol… sorry, couldn’t help it). Even if this happens again (which it won’t!) it will stop one day. I plan to make that day today. I can’t keep doing this. It has to end right now. I think I’m gonna go to sleep soon, I’ll check back in soon. Thank you everyone for taking the time to read this! I hope y’all are all doing well and staying safe.

 

[n3ophy7e]

I did. The thing about amphetamines, (I’m guessing y’all already know this) is that I’m still here, it’s not like weed or opioids so I can still understand what I did… that’s the bad part about them. I’m still all here afterwards. I did end up using. I took half a pill, then jumped in the shower. It’s 3:30am where I am and I probably won’t sleep tonight. My sleep schedule is fucked enough as it is too. I feel guilty (as I should). And that’s not me feeling sorry for myself either, I know that what I did wasn’t right. I still have half a pill left, I’m gonna do an experiment tomorrow, the way this drug is making me feel isn’t the same as it was… it’s different. Before when I would use I wouldn’t feel anything. I never felt bad about it. I always was self centered and never thought about how I was effecting the lives of the people around me. I was always concerned with myself and that was it. It made me feel good… that’s not the case anymore. Like yeah, I feel high, I feel wired… but it’s not making me feel happy… I think this is my chance to realize that going back to this isn’t going to make things better… only worse. I missed the drip A LOT… but it’s not the same. I feel high but not happy. I put the other half of the pill in a tupplewear container, I’m gonna hold onto it (and yes I know this is a bad idea, but it’s just an experiment… if it goes bad then the worse thing that happens is I get high and get sober again (as I can’t take more than 1 pill out of her bottle or she’ll notice)), the plan is to hold onto it and not use… if and when I want to quit I should have the willpower to stop using even if I have access, this is where I’m going to put myself to the test. I know that I don’t have to feel bad about this. Most people with addictions to harder drugs relapse at least once before getting sober (if they manage to get sober)… but I can’t help it. I feel like I let not only myself and my girlfriend down, but I also let y’all down. Y’all have been supportive of me, and I used to think this was a website for drug addicts and those curious about drugs… it’s much more than that. Y’all are rooting for me, my girlfriend, hell I even talked to my parents about it (apparently my family has history of abuse and addiction)… everyone is supporting me like I never thought possible. And I let all of you down. I am sorry. But I won’t let this stop me. This was a bump in the road (literally lol… sorry, couldn’t help it). Even if this happens again (which it won’t!) it will stop one day. I plan to make that day today. I can’t keep doing this. It has to end right now. I think I’m gonna go to sleep soon, I’ll check back in soon. Thank you everyone for taking the time to read this! I hope y’all are all doing well and staying safe.

You haven't let anyone down mate, we are here to support you through whatever happens. It's fantastic that you have some great support in real life too. Would you consider getting some professional help with this? Like seeing a drug counsellor or a therapist? I think it's something worth looking in to, especially since you have a family history of addiction.
Keep us updated

 

[AutoTripper]

If only they made man-size timelocks right?

Seriously it would save me so much trouble. I get myself into real trouble in life.

 

[polarthedog]

I did. The thing about amphetamines, (I’m guessing y’all already know this) is that I’m still here, it’s not like weed or opioids so I can still understand what I did… that’s the bad part about them. I’m still all here afterwards. I did end up using. I took half a pill, then jumped in the shower. It’s 3:30am where I am and I probably won’t sleep tonight. My sleep schedule is fucked enough as it is too. I feel guilty (as I should). And that’s not me feeling sorry for myself either, I know that what I did wasn’t right. I still have half a pill left, I’m gonna do an experiment tomorrow, the way this drug is making me feel isn’t the same as it was… it’s different. Before when I would use I wouldn’t feel anything. I never felt bad about it. I always was self centered and never thought about how I was effecting the lives of the people around me. I was always concerned with myself and that was it. It made me feel good… that’s not the case anymore. Like yeah, I feel high, I feel wired… but it’s not making me feel happy… I think this is my chance to realize that going back to this isn’t going to make things better… only worse. I missed the drip A LOT… but it’s not the same. I feel high but not happy. I put the other half of the pill in a tupplewear container, I’m gonna hold onto it (and yes I know this is a bad idea, but it’s just an experiment… if it goes bad then the worse thing that happens is I get high and get sober again (as I can’t take more than 1 pill out of her bottle or she’ll notice)), the plan is to hold onto it and not use… if and when I want to quit I should have the willpower to stop using even if I have access, this is where I’m going to put myself to the test. I know that I don’t have to feel bad about this. Most people with addictions to harder drugs relapse at least once before getting sober (if they manage to get sober)… but I can’t help it. I feel like I let not only myself and my girlfriend down, but I also let y’all down. Y’all have been supportive of me, and I used to think this was a website for drug addicts and those curious about drugs… it’s much more than that. Y’all are rooting for me, my girlfriend, hell I even talked to my parents about it (apparently my family has history of abuse and addiction)… everyone is supporting me like I never thought possible. And I let all of you down. I am sorry. But I won’t let this stop me. This was a bump in the road (literally lol… sorry, couldn’t help it). Even if this happens again (which it won’t!) it will stop one day. I plan to make that day today. I can’t keep doing this. It has to end right now. I think I’m gonna go to sleep soon, I’ll check back in soon. Thank you everyone for taking the time to read this! I hope y’all are all doing well and staying safe.

I did. The thing about amphetamines, (I’m guessing y’all already know this) is that I’m still here, it’s not like weed or opioids so I can still understand what I did… that’s the bad part about them. I’m still all here afterwards. I did end up using. I took half a pill, then jumped in the shower. It’s 3:30am where I am and I probably won’t sleep tonight. My sleep schedule is fucked enough as it is too. I feel guilty (as I should). And that’s not me feeling sorry for myself either, I know that what I did wasn’t right. I still have half a pill left, I’m gonna do an experiment tomorrow, the way this drug is making me feel isn’t the same as it was… it’s different. Before when I would use I wouldn’t feel anything. I never felt bad about it. I always was self centered and never thought about how I was effecting the lives of the people around me. I was always concerned with myself and that was it. It made me feel good… that’s not the case anymore. Like yeah, I feel high, I feel wired… but it’s not making me feel happy… I think this is my chance to realize that going back to this isn’t going to make things better… only worse. I missed the drip A LOT… but it’s not the same. I feel high but not happy. I put the other half of the pill in a tupplewear container, I’m gonna hold onto it (and yes I know this is a bad idea, but it’s just an experiment… if it goes bad then the worse thing that happens is I get high and get sober again (as I can’t take more than 1 pill out of her bottle or she’ll notice)), the plan is to hold onto it and not use… if and when I want to quit I should have the willpower to stop using even if I have access, this is where I’m going to put myself to the test. I know that I don’t have to feel bad about this. Most people with addictions to harder drugs relapse at least once before getting sober (if they manage to get sober)… but I can’t help it. I feel like I let not only myself and my girlfriend down, but I also let y’all down. Y’all have been supportive of me, and I used to think this was a website for drug addicts and those curious about drugs… it’s much more than that. Y’all are rooting for me, my girlfriend, hell I even talked to my parents about it (apparently my family has history of abuse and addiction)… everyone is supporting me like I never thought possible. And I let all of you down. I am sorry. But I won’t let this stop me. This was a bump in the road (literally lol… sorry, couldn’t help it). Even if this happens again (which it won’t!) it will stop one day. I plan to make that day today. I can’t keep doing this. It has to end right now. I think I’m gonna go to sleep soon, I’ll check back in soon. Thank you everyone for taking the time to read this! I hope y’all are all doing well and staying safe.

It’s okay man, you didn’t let anyone down, get up Andy try again. Also a lot of addicts find that while will power applies to other aspect so of their life’s, it doesn’t apply to stopping drugs, atleast not as much as you think it would.

If you don’t either throw that pill away, or give it back, there’s is very little chance you won’t use it. Atleast imo, you might prove me wrong, but why risk it?

And ya man, were all rooting for you.

Good luck

Also I believe focalin is a cocaine derivative, not an amphetamine, but they are similar in effect

 

[negrogesic]

Hydroxyzine isn't going to help you, in fact likely to make you feel worse.

There is no withdrawal from focalin, you just feel a bit tired, slight depression etc.

I snorted 4 10mg tablets of focalin daily for a few years, and when I'd run out, or eventually when i stopped entirely, i just felt a bit tired and depressed. Hydroxyzine will worsen these two symptoms.

Methylphenidate (in this case dextromethylphenidate) isn't an amphetamine and is a bit more forgiving in terms of the rebound. This is because it doesn't deplete dopamine/norepinephrine in the same way that amphetamines do, so they're less draining in a sense.

If you are too difficult of a time you might consider getting some bronkaid (ephedrine) which is available OTC in most states (but you have to ask the pharmacist for it and show ID).

 

[HeathenGA]

Hydroxyzine isn't going to help you, in fact likely to make you feel worse.

There is no withdrawal from focalin, you just feel a bit tired, slight depression etc.

I snorted 4 10mg tablets of focalin daily for a few years, and when I'd run out, or eventually when i stopped entirely, i just felt a bit tired and depressed. Hydroxyzine will worsen these two symptoms.

Methylphenidate (in this case dextromethylphenidate) isn't an amphetamine and is a bit more forgiving in terms of the rebound. This is because it doesn't deplete dopamine/norepinephrine in the same way that amphetamines do, so they're less draining in a sense.

If you are too difficult of a time you might consider getting some bronkaid (ephedrine) which is available OTC in most states (but you have to ask the pharmacist for it and show ID).

I think ive read about that. Technically Focalin/Dexmethylphenidate is a CNS, not like it’s brother Ritalin/Methlyphenidate. I’m not sure why I’m having so much trouble with it. Maybe I glorify drugs and I bury it in my head? Idk. I’ve been around users most of my life, cousins, parents, friends… even my grandmother has been abusing her Diazapam for years, going around to different doctors and getting a bunch of different opioid prescriptions and shit…

Anyways I’m sorry I haven’t been keeping up with things. This last week has been super busy for me. I had a job interview yesterday. And today was my 1 year anniversary with my gf.

Apart from that… I did use that pill. And I used another one earlier today. I have a drug test coming up soon. I’m not even worried about that it’s more that like everytime I feel depressed or upset, angry… if I feel anything other than happy or just “normal” then my instant first thought is to use. That’s the root of the problem. At least the immediate problem. I’m considering waiting to get insurance through this new job and getting a doctor to prescribe me with Ritalin. At least then I’m doing it legally. And I was diagnosed with ADHD as a kid and was on Ritalin for most of my childhood. It would be easy to get a prescription with my previous history having taken Ritalin for so long. Plus I could get capsules (XR) and I wouldn’t want to snort them… I literally hate snorting XR pills. It’s a pain in the ass and it hurts more. At least that’s been my experience.

Im not sure if that’s a “smart” idea, or if it’s a really bad idea, but at least it would be legal that way. I wouldn’t have to worry about keeping my job through drug tests. I wouldn’t be stealing pills (as I would have my own) and maybe I could learn to control myself and take my medication as prescribed or even as needed.

Idk guys, this really sucks. I hate this. I keep saying that too but I keep doing it to myself. I know what to do but I don’t at the same time. I’m not trying to self diagnose or anything but honestly I think I’m just depressed.

I’m away from home, away from family and friends, I don’t have a job, I’m in a financial hole, my girlfriend is continually angry at me for the financial troubles and for the addiction problems… it would explain why I’m “addicted” it’s not so much an addiction but a dependency on the “happy feeling” I feel good when I use Focalin. I feel happy, confident, etc…

I think getting this job would be a great thing for me, have some money in my pocket, help my girlfriend and me feel more financially secure, maybe go to therapy… Idk.

But I’m okay for now. I’m not in danger of overdose, I’m not suicidal, things are starting to get a little bit easier for me and pretty soon I’ll be doing a lot better. I’ll try and keep y’all updated more than I have been. Thanks for the support y’all.
Hope y’all are staying safe

 

[cdin]

if you are having this much trouble w focalin. please please never drink, use bzds, opioids etc. because a genuine withdrawal will be incredibly overwhelming. this is purely a psychological thing. just stop stealing her drugs man.