• Psychedelic Drugs Welcome Guest
    View threads about
    Posting RulesBluelight Rules
    PD's Best Threads Index
    Social ThreadSupport Bluelight
    Psychedelic Beginner's FAQ

I Want To Heal, need advice, depression.

W

WannaGrow

Greenlighter
Joined
Nov 20, 2014
Messages
9
Im sorry if this is the wrong place to post this, if so, please redirect me to the right one, thanks in advanced.

Im 27 years old, i remember being depressed since i was 17, always had that tendency, i recognize my behaviour now, back then i just thought it was life giving me strikes but i didnt realize the power of intention, and how the mind affects our day to day situations, i had to suffer a lot to stumble upon these facts, but my frustration now is that i cant seem to break my inner walls, ive read, listened, watched a lot on this matter, i find it really sad to realize im just a weak person, i cry a lot, my self steem is shattered, i have all the symptoms of an isolated/depressed person, cant seem to get out of bed or at least i have to drag myself out of it to go through my day not being present in my mind, which is always spinning around facts that have hurt me, and reminding me how useless i feel, how much i feel like a beat down kid, only by my own decisions.

i had an episode in college that kinda triggered my depression, drunk embarrassing storie, long time ago, still haunts me, still annoys me, makes me feel really awkard around people, cant get over that hump. Ive read a loooot about dmt / ayahuasca, they seem to give me the highest hope of healing, of accepting what has happened in my life, how it has happened, and to continue on with my journey strong and healed from within, because if i cant manage to do that, i dont think ill be able to drag myself trhough life feeling like a fucking looser.

I had to vent out how i felt, maybe theres people that find this interesting and can relate, or just have been through it and can give me some advice, one thing i know is that my history has made me an empathetic human being, that cares about not hurting people, and that i feel was kinda worth the pain.

thanks, and sorry for my kinda bad english, not my first lenguage.
 
Take some MDMA if your new to this stuff. It's so mild, but you may be able to get a fresh perspective and stuff. Not a cure though (probably). But yeah, I read something about mushrooms curing depression (an article). Anyway, Read about set/setting and give it a go :)
 
If you really try and learn something from an experience and take something out of it, you will. It might not be what you expected to learn though. That goes for any experience, not just psychedelics. Psychs just happen to be a rather unique experience and this can be reflected in what you take out of it. Just go into it open minded and with an intention to confront your depression and I bet it will help. This is just from my experience though.
 
Relate your "drunk embarrassing story"...I'll bet it's not near as bad as you think.
Finding other people who have done stupid stuff is always good, it makes your stupid stuff seem less important, and what better place than a forum of a bunch of people you don't know and will never meet.
It seems, to me, that you put a lot of importance on this one incident and I doubt it's as bad as you think...bet I can top it.
So if you wanna grow Wannagrow, then share.
 
Embrace nature. Maybe smoke some weed in nature. If you go straight into psychs then you may be in for a bumpy ride. Smoke weed, stare at the stars, hear the owls, stare at the moon and the sky and think about the earth. Maybe bring a good non-judgemental friend along. Then if all goes well take a 3 hour hike SOBER and become familiar with your surroundings. Then take the same hike while on 2 grams of mushrooms. Make sure it's a good place to hike though with no disruptions. Well this all helped my depression but there's no cure for depression. But I have found meaning in my life through mostly NATURE, but with the ASSISTANCE of psychedelics and am way happier as a result. Also being around people has helped. Even though I prefer isolation, I have learned a lot from forcing myself to be around people so I am more confident and my 'vision' has been amplified rather than having more of a tunneled vision of life. And you are not a weak person. Don't tell yourself that. Positive affirmations only. Hope this helps.
 
Jesus!!! First of all being depressed has nothing to do with being a weak person or a looser, it's caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain. i suffer from major depression and take meds for it, really I think that's be your best bet, meds and counselling. I wouldn't go with SSRI's mind you, I'd go with a DRI like wellbutrin, it's side effect profile is much shorter than that of SSRI's. Really with no experience with psychedelics you want to try and solve your questionable depression with ayhuasca? That's just a recipe for disaster.
 
Well, I find that psychedelics can help me a fair bit with depression, but I wouldn't really consider them as a treatment for it. Really, they just open your mind up, breaking down preconceptions, allowing you to approach things from a different perspective and that sort of stuff. The thing that mostly pisses me off about depression is the way it kind of puts up psychological barriers and mental blocks, and psychedelics do a good job of addressing that in my opinion. They're no cure, though; just assistance.

If I take psychs when I'm depressed it can go one of two ways. They either make me think really deeply about stuff I would never normally bring to the surface which can be a bit distressing at the time but I think it does a lot of good to get shit off your chest. Other times I just have a really recreational and care free experience and basically clear my mind of all the every day crap that has been getting me down or stressing me out recently.
 
I'm not a huge fan of Dr. prescribed pharmaceuticals, but I have some friends with serious depression/ anxiety/ bi polar disorders and they seem to be in a far better place while taking their meds. In the state of mind you claim to be in, I wouldn't recommend any psychedelic...let alone ayahuasca. I've tripped at dark times in my life and while not always pleasant, I've come out the other side with a new perspective on myself and a knowledge of how to"fix" my issues, but I am an experienced psyche user...I couldn't fathom taking ayahuasca while suffering through terrible bouts of depression...not a rabbit hole I'd wanna go down...maybe a psychiatrist could help you, or maybe a fat bowl with some frosty buds and some good music...just my two cents...hope everything works out
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top