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I want to cheat on my boyfriend

C

churbum

Greenlighter
Joined
Aug 19, 2015
Messages
2
I live with my boyfriend and we haven't had sex in over two months. I asked him about it and he said he's trying to save energy (including sexual energy) to focus on other things he wants for us in life. He's really deep into ascension and meditation and things like that so I get it. He doesn't act any differently with me other than that. He still looks at me the same and tells me how much he loves me often..but I'm having a hard time having no sex. I want to fuck someone. I don't have anybody in mind (I don't know many people in this town) but I just kinda feel like meeting someone and having regular sex with him until we start having sex again. Is that bad?
 
You guys need to talk :) sex is a very important part of a relationship and him choosing celibacy on his own isn't very fair, but neither would you cheating on him be.
Best of luck!
 
Is it bad? That depends on the rules you both formed your relationship upon.

Would you be ok with him sleeping with other women? I assume you would be, since it would be mighty hypocritical if you thought you should be able to play outside and not let him. If that's the case, why not bring that up to him? Tell him you want to sleep with other people and that he is also free to sleep with other people.
 
LuGoJ said:
Is it bad? That depends on the rules you both formed your relationship upon.

Would you be ok with him sleeping with other women? I assume you would be, since it would be mighty hypocritical if you thought you should be able to play outside and not let him. If that's the case, why not bring that up to him? Tell him you want to sleep with other people and that he is also free to sleep with other people.
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I don't think consented non-monogamy is always a two way street. I mean, a person who is suggesting it should be willing to also let their partner venture as well, but said person doesn't always desire that. I agree though that she shouldn't cheat on him and should have a discussion with him to let him know her needs are not being met.

OP, I would have this discussion and let him know that if he desires to remain celibate, then would it be ok if you can seek out other partners for sex. If he is unwilling to do either, then you're faced with a pretty big incompatibility that will eventually tear you two apart.
 
hes enforcing his desire to not have sex on you. relationships are two way

i would tell him how you feel
 
Wow, I doubt he'll appreciate you cheating on him, if he finds out. It's better to talk about your problem with him and find a solution ;)
 
Vados said:
I don't think consented non-monogamy is always a two way street. I mean, a person who is suggesting it should be willing to also let their partner venture as well, but said person doesn't always desire that. I agree though that she shouldn't cheat on him and should have a discussion with him to let him know her needs are not being met.

OP, I would have this discussion and let him know that if he desires to remain celibate, then would it be ok if you can seek out other partners for sex. If he is unwilling to do either, then you're faced with a pretty big incompatibility that will eventually tear you two apart.
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Oh i didn't mean to imply that both parties should do it. I just meant that it's only right to make the option available to him too, if he wants to.
 
DrakeZor said:
Wow, I doubt he'll appreciate you cheating on him, if he finds out. It's better to talk about your problem with him and find a solution ;)
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Exactly this , talking is one of the most important things in a relationship. Good luck anyway!
 
Sex is good for the mind and body, it would actually HELP in his meditation. He shouldn't make you just live with it. He should be open to you getting laid by other guys... or find someone else.
 
Nothing pisses me off than a dude who has a perfect opportunity to get laid and doesn't. This dude don't know how lucky he is. Some sense needs to be knocked in this dude.
 
Thanks for all of the sound advice, guys. It's good to get another's perspective on this. I agree it would be incredibly cruel to just cheat on him and I'd feel horrible if I did, so I'm just going to talk to him :)
 
I am happy that you made the right choice OP.

I was going to say to least talk to him about it before just going out and sleeping with some random stranger. Not only does that sound desperate, but it sounds dangerous. Plus your infidelity may or may not crush your boyfriend depending on how he sees things.

Either way please talk to him about it. If he isn't down then move on.

Sex is important.
 
Talk to him.

Don't cheat, or if you are going to cheat or sleep with someone else break up with him first. Good luck.
 
PriestTheyCalledHim said:
Talk to him.

Don't cheat, or if you are going to cheat or sleep with someone else break up with him first. Good luck.
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Well to be fair if they break up before cheating it's not actually cheating g :p

Or you could read that sentence in a way that sounds like you're saying it's ok to cheat, just not with him, lol!
 
And don't forget the option of sleeping with other guys while the BF meditates, whatever.

He has his hobbies, you have yours!

Have fun!
 
That's a shitty thing to do. Understand that that's the end of your relationship if u cheat. Dudes gonna be pissed off and u might catch a beatin, lol. Don't be a scumbag just let him know how u feel...
 
logjammer said:
Do it, life's too short to be denied sex.
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That doesn't necessarily mean that you need to cheat.. You can be honorable and tell/break up with your partner.

You have needs, tell him that. If he loves you and considers your feelings he will come to a compromise, if not.. You may as well leave.
He might be okay with allowing you freedom to sleep with other people; especially if he insists on a certain lifestyle for himself.

He should not have the right to force any sort of lifestyle or religion on you, what feels right for him isn't necessarily going to feel right for you..
If he cares about you he will understand this.. If you care about him you should resist doing things behind his back.. It's better to leave him, cause if he finds out it would hurt him even more.
I know it is hard to think about abandoning someone based on clashing of fundamental psychologies.. but the above poster is right about one thing..

logjammer said:
life's too short to be denied sex.
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Curious

So just curious, now where do you stand? Have you discussed it with him, or did you make your mind up when you posted
 
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