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I want my wife back

Agree with you. Besides, if that it the case, she will care less and less about he one she let go. And that can hurt...
 
One Thousand Words said:
It honestly sounds like she has found someone else. You will eventually need to move on
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She told me there was no one else and I believe her. Of course that was my first thought going into this.

My current position is...she changed jobs and I believe that at her new job she started getting attention from other guys that was new and exciting to her. That attention got her questioning our relationship.

My reaction to her breaking it off was not what she expected. She personified her misgivings about our relationship onto me and expected me to be unhappy too. When she saw how truly wrecked I was, it put her off to any romantic advances from the other guy/guys because she was upset about how badly devastating it was to me.

...but really , I'm just blowing smoke here. I don't really know. But I've been with her long enough to know that this is a very likely sinario.
 
Men up! She is with someone else. How can you want a woman that despises you that much???
 
Erikmen said:
Men up! She is with someone else. How can you want a woman that despises you that much???
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How long did it take you come up with that token? Are you intellectually spent after dropping that? Please explain the value you comment has...if you can't then you should've remained silent
 
Well that´s not up to you, is it? Get your balls together and tough it up, not here, but with your ex who is with someone else and does not want to see you. Girls are impressed by self esteem..to reflect your emotional evaluation of your own worth..
 
Erikmen said:
Well that´s not up to you, is it? Get your balls together and tough it up, not here, but with your ex who is with someone else and does not want to see you. Girls are impressed by self esteem..to reflect your emotional evaluation of your own worth..
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Now we are speaking like 2 intelegent human beings.

I do recognize that it is a possibility that she is seeing someone else but I don't believed that to be the case. And I assure you I don't lack confidence and can handle my own resources both mentally, physically, emotionally and financially.Why do you assume that I am a some pushover bitch that would be shocked into manhood by brutish words?

What I have taken away from this thread thus far is it is still too soon to try to revive our relationship. If there is any chance at all , it will take longer than 5 months for the smoke to clear. I have a lot of things to get settled in my life before I am ready myself.

I am sure of what I want and I am going to do everything in my power to get it...just not right now


I am still unsure about cutting all contact with her for so long. Is there an acceptable level of contact at this point? She seemed willing to talk to me via email but only adout trivial stuff. Relationship questions were met with strick resistance. Its been 3 weeks since last contact but I haven't pushed relationship questions since the dissolution in October.

I wanted to get her an Xmas gift...that's prodadly a no-no too.
 
Has she been faithful and true? I wouldn't give up. Marriage is about what you both need. Not what either of you want, unless you only want what you need

then, your happy.

If she is unfaithful i suggest reading the book of Hosea. He had that problem.

sounds like you just have communication problems that got worse.

you can fix those problems and stay married.
 
matt2012 said:
What I have taken away from this thread thus far is it is still too soon to try to revive our relationship. If there is any chance at all , it will take longer than 5 months for the smoke to clear. I have a lot of things to get settled in my life before I am ready myself.

...Its been 3 weeks since last contact but I haven't pushed relationship questions since the dissolution in October.

I wanted to get her an Xmas gift...that's prodadly a no-no too.
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It has NOT been 5 months, it's been 3 weeks. And yes. the Xmas gift is not a good move. Send her an e-card maybe. Nice and light, nothing meaningful. Your level of comm right now is (if at all) good news, fair weather, NOTHING DEEPER!

Maybe she will realise what she has lost and maybe not. But there's a thing called Reach and Withdraw in ANY relationship and if you keep reaching she WILL keep withdrawing. You seem from your posts to realise this at a basic level. It is factual in how people treat each other.
 
Journyman16 said:
It has NOT been 5 months, it's been 3 weeks. And yes. the Xmas gift is not a good move. Send her an e-card maybe. Nice and light, nothing meaningful. Your level of comm right now is (if at all) good news, fair weather, NOTHING DEEPER!

Maybe she will realise what she has lost and maybe not. But there's a thing called Reach and Withdraw in ANY relationship and if you keep reaching she WILL keep withdrawing. You seem from your posts to realise this at a basic level. It is factual in how people treat each other.
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Reach and withdraw is the story of my life. Everything I want has always been just beyond my reach and no matter how far I stretch I can get to it.

It really helps to have other's prosectives on this. Relationships have always just fell in my lap. I never had one that I wanted so badly until now and never thought I'd be devising a way to bring one back to me.

The process seems so systematic with a high probability of failure. Like a giant machine that produces the most in demand product in the world but 90% of the time spits out turds.

But I'd rather roll the dice and get a turd than not and have to wonder for if I missed out because I gave up.
 
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