Heroin I tried heroin but..

[obsoletebg]

I tried heroin a week ago. Snorted a little bit and I liked it, but now here comes a huge problem: I'm thinking about it ever since. I don't want to start using it more often because let me be honest: I don't have any self control. I know this could go out of my controll very easily.
Do you have any advice about this? Do you think I did a big mistake? I'm also fighting depression and i'm using zoloft and lorazepam ( for sleeping). Sorry for my bad english. Thank you

Sounds like you have an addictive personality. Some people can do heroin once and never again(these are the lucky ones who get really sick and hate the way it makes them feel). Others are not so lucky. Heroin is the ultimate form of escapism and is used by people who are looking to escape the cruelty of life's realities. That is why I used it at least. I wanted to escape the harshness of reality, to numb any type of worry, pain, fear, insecurity, depression, envy, dissatisfaction with life. Like returning to the womb of my mother where I would always be safe.

I paid the price greatly. Luckily I was able to keep a full time job through the course of my 10 year addiction(now going almost 20 years if I include my MMT treatment) . Never got fired or became homeless. However I will probably now be on methadone the rest of my life because of my decision, forever tied to the liquid handcuffs. It's not a happy existence. The withdrawals are the worst thing a person can mentally go through, akin to torture. Even though I consider myself lucky as I have never been to jail because of it and never ODed or got hepatitis or HIV. But the mental torture heroin addiction makes you go through I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. It seems nature has this cruel karma way of punishing any type of reward seeking behavior and forces you to feel the opposite of all the good feelings the drug gives you.

 

[tacodude]

Methadone is hell to quit due to it's long term effect if I'm not mistaken. I highly recommend d suboxone if you can as it binds to a opiate sub receptors most others don't that is suppressed to reduce dependency or something.... I'd have to find text to back it up.

 

[adder]

I'm sure that NMDA upregulation plays a role in methadone withdrawal. I don't really think I was much psychotic after kicking regular full agonists and with methadone it was truly a wild ride. For doctors it may seem great, because it's cheap to produce, long-lasting, and tolerance to it doesn't increase as fast, but really no opioid made me so slow as methadone did. It may not be very potent as an NMDA antagonist, but NMDA blockade and opioid activation provide a synergistic depressant effect.

 

[ComfortablyNumb95]

if you're thimnking about it after a little dose, do not try it never ever again.
probably after a while you'll forget about it but for this it is vital that you don't touch the stuff.

 

[Jabberwocky]

mmmm... i strongly suggest putting it down for good. i've just come across some high potency heroin by complete mistake after my coke dealer got the batches mixed up. i've battled an opiate addiction for the past 6 years, and after that first hit.... i'm terrified i'm going to spiral into that dark hole of desperation again. i was proud at the fact i'd put down the opiates - now they've sort of snuck back into my life and i really really just can't get myself together to throwing this stuff away. i've never seen or had H like this in the past.

 

[Nettuno11]

With other drugs like MDMA or Meth you can have the same pleasure/happiness of the heroin or not?

It is really so powerful?

 

[Jabberwocky]

it's a very different "pleasure" so to speak. i find heroin just dulls away everything, removes me from the planet so to speak for however long it lasts, like being wrapped up in a blanket with nobody to bother you essentially.

MDMA and meth are two different beasts. MDMA is a very euphoric drug to start with, but it gets old quickly in my opinion. it also leaves me with terrible terrible hangovers the next day and frankly isn't worth wasting my time with - i get 3-5 hours of retarded happiness out of it, followed by a day/week comedown where i'm depressed and for some reason fiend opiates.

methamphetamine... well.... that's like jumping on the devils shoulders and going for a ride. i find it hard to describe a meth high because for me they were usually so disorientating, disastrous but fun at the same time. all the side effects that come with the meth high i find really disturbs it, and thats why heroin for me personally is so damn addictive. heroin does have its obvious side effects such as constipation - which is very off-putting after a while, but you can last a while, and the itches (but i love them).

you can't function properly on any of these drugs though in a normal way. i suppose meth you can in low doses, but once you've tried a high dose you won't turn back.

 

[mrsnowygrainius]

to the OP- you need to find something that you love as much as getting high. you must find something that will help you deal with the depression. I am one of the most depressed fucks out there I hate my life so much, bUT i have one thing in my life that brings me true absolute joy and thats surfing . it is possible to make that new hobby into an addiction, a healthy addiction, such as being obsessed with the surf forecast, heading to the beach to check the surf, decieding whether or not its worth it to go in. it becomes a new ritual and theres no negative consequences to it, (except the possibility of drowning) but thats only a case in huricane swells! .

You need to do some soul searching or get into some sort of extremely competitive relationship

 

[mrsnowygrainius]

forget about using other drugs, in short- no other drug can compare to heroin simple as that.

heroin> all substances

but remember one thing, if you have some clean time you learn that there are other joys in life. God's love is more powerful than heroin. The feeling you get from dropping into a wave is better than an IV heroin rush (maybe not better but just the same)

 

[obsoletebg]

With other drugs like MDMA or Meth you can have the same pleasure/happiness of the heroin or not?

It is really so powerful?

Meth/Cocaine enhances/sharpens reality and social life(upper). Heroin dulls and numbs reality/life(downer).

Meth/cocaine/MDMA effects dopamine mostly. Heroin effects endorphins.

 

[Nateup]

They all affect dopamine and serotonin, opiates/heroin via the endorphin system, traditional stims and mdma(which actually feel extremely different from each other) via the SERT and DAT (transporters). The biggest difference in subjective effect is due to those nasty (imo) adrenergic effects present with stims (although less pronounced feeling with mdma for me) via the NET.
The biggest thing about opioids that make so much more enjoyable to me is that you get all the ecstatic goodness of serotonin and dopamine release without the hyperstimulation of norepinephrine release - leaving you all noddy (dopamine is generally thought of as stimulating, but not all dopamine receptor sites have stimulating effect when activated, especially without norepinephrine release)

Oh yeah... Don't ever touch heroin again. That pleasure only leads to pain you can't imagine.