I think I'm never coming back from my acid trip ???

[gallardo3000]

Hey guys, I'm sure this is a very common thing to feel, but as every experience is different for every individual I thought I might share it, because it's been kinda giving me a hard time for a while now...

I believe psychedelic experiences do expand your consciousness and help you understand. I know it. Thing is, I have used LSD several times, but since the last time I don't seem to be able to really "go back to normal". It would be hard for me to explain the experience as a whole (I'm sure you understand). It felt like I suddenly woke up from a dream. All the things I considered common or normal (specifically human bodies and the human society) seemed to loose their importance. Or better said, they became the most illogical thing to me. It suddenly hit me, we are nothing but animals. I mean, we are just a small part of the world, which holds thousands and thousands forms of existence. How and why did the human species come to think they were superior to the rest? Why did we loose this contact I've been feeling towards everything nature is? I mean living things, dead things, it's no different. We will die, but I know that is not the end of it. After all I've seen (which is still a very tiny bit of everything, I think), how can human beings think they don't have anything to do with it? How can they not see themselves in the mirror and realize we are just one weird-ass (but still amazing) looking creature holding inside what is really important? The spirit!!! I think I understand what many cultures known for their spiritual knowledge mean when they talk about how all things are part of one great Unity, call it spirit, God, whatever you want. And the body is just something that keeps it inside somehow.

Then, how for most of my life my body has in someway (everyone can relate) contributed to the way I perceive myself. I felt I cut ties from my body that time I took acid. I remember very well how I saw everyone's faces and I was like "man, how did we get so lost?! When and why did we just loose sight of this truth that is being so fucking clear to me right now?!".

This all has been pretty interesting to think about, but at the same time it has been hell to go back to participating in the "normal" activities that this society requires you to. I mean school, I mean talking to people of things that just make me feel there is a wall between me and them. I don't want to make the impression of being "special", because part of what I've learned is that there is no special, we are a whole, we are one, and I wish I could establish bonds of knowledge with these people. Maybe I'm just surrounded by people who haven't got the chance to explore other kinds of consciousness and find this truth I feel I've seen a part of, which is waaaay better that the ideas modern society is driven by. I feel alone in this, and whenever I try to explain this to other people they just don't seem to understand, they look at me like I'm insane and what I'm telling them is undesirable. I don't blame them though, a while back I would've thought I'm insane.

Living the way everyone around me lives is just so not appealing. I feel it's empty, and feeling that way is pretty discouraging from even attempting to be what I wanted to be, a cinematographer. I don't want to have this feeling, I want to shoot my films and I want to try to make people understand what I've seen.

I hope I'm explaining myself well enough and you can understand and (I really hope) relate.

So what do you think?

GREETINGS EVERYONE

 

[Seph]

hey man , i feel many pople have had this also but all thats happened is youve stripped the filter and you can see both sides of what society does to the world not just what we want to see and maybe something that could be quite useful to you now would be to use these thoughts to try and better yourself, the world whatever through different means such as making films about it looking at different cultures that are better connected to the world around them and not just the government.
also if your artistic its a very good method of getting what youve seen across what words cant.

 

[CrypticArc]

I have a feeling you might benefit from watching this

 

[psy997]

Now is the time for integration. How do you fit in your newfound perceptions and beliefs to this modern world? How do you thrive in a way that you see fit while both reaping the benefits of modern society but at the same time taking care not to contribute to the negativity and confusion prevalent at this time? This is a question some people grapple with their entire lives.

 

[Peacephrog1972]

Congrats!!

The doors have been opened (never to be shut), and you have seen what's on the other side

Use it to better yourself and be an encouragement to others

 

[psy997]

???

 

[Img_9999]

You already knew all of this, my friend. Your trip just made you confront it. Now you can choose to take care of this awareness, or simply let it go ignored, where it will again fade in the background, like it was before your trip.

The question you have now opened is a question (I believe) most of all struggle with during all of our life. Living in dialog with it makes daily life arguably harder, but also more meaningful. There is no definite answer to this, but if you keep listening it will mold many of your choices.

Don't let it destroy what you already know to have value to you, like your career as a cinematographer. But maybe use this new instability to question and revisit in which ways do things contribute to what you value. It is important to view things from a different place, once in a while. You may even find out you are approaching your goals perfectly well ! I have rarely found that to be the case with myself.

Good luck !

 

[XROLLED]

You already knew all of this, my friend. Your trip just made you confront it.

I like this^

I had a similar experience after a trip and for weeks was in a sort of derealized state where everything human seems very foreign, and a big one was thinking how weird it was that no one ever says directly how they feel. conversations seemed so pointless because no one was really being truthful. Its like society was incredibly blind. Not saying I was set apart or special in any way as you stated, just saw things completely different from the world around me at the time.

But anyway, being so disconnected proved not to be an effective strategy to continue in the world we live in today. But how could I focus on something so in significant and ritualistic like school when I felt this way. So I searched for ways to cover up this discovered truth which also was not effective because it made me feel exactly as you said, empty and unsatisfied with the world around me. But there is a lot of isolation on that side of truth and I found myself wishing for my ignorance back.

So my goal was to maintain this truth and not cover it up, yet still find satisfaction continuing life in the society I am placed in. After a ton of ridiculously deep thought I came to the conclusion that the way to do that is to recognize that the only truth that we as humans have is that we exist in the current moment. We have no proven evidence of why, how, exactly where in the universe, or when on a larger scale timeline. Even as far as society goes, what we feel is truth is only our perceptions, interpretations, and opinions of truth limited by our species capacity. In the end, the only thing that is indisputably true is that we do in fact exist.

How does this apply to your situation..
This investigation of mine was focused on understanding mindfulness. My point is that if you focus on truthfully existing in the moment you can experience life with full fulfillment. I believe that you may benefit from researching mindfulness as well. This of course is my own experience and opinion and was an effective solution for me but I hope that in my efforts maybe something in there helps you in your situation.

 

[Beenhead]

I think that sometimes people forget that even though we are just animals, and that we are a small part of a large universe, it does not take away the uniqueness that humanity has created here on this planet. People need to be cognizant of the world around them: the natural world, its other living inhabitants and other people. Even though humanity has progressed far beyond the slightest possibilities of the rest of the animal kingdom, you must remember that we are not the only species to change its environment to suit its self, nor would any living species not hesitate to improve is survivability, given the chance. The gift that humanity has been given is the rational mind to recognize that in so changing the natural world to please its self, we also change the plight of others in the ecosystem, that every action may create unintended consequences. We just need to remember this, and to temper our urge to continually better our lives at the expense of either the natural world, or the happiness of others.

Psychedelics show you both how fragile the whole system is, and how beautiful it is at the same time. Dont think that these drugs are telling you to abandon society and live int he forest. They arent. They are telling you to be aware of your self, the world around you, the world within your mind, and that there are consequences to everything. In my opinion... of course

 

[Kl519]

I think what separates us from animals is strictly our intelligence and the abilities that come with it; you know, all of the man-made inventions and what not. Other than that, I have a hard time finding anything else.

Indeed, none of us are special; we're all inherently equal in value, and that explains it in and of itself.

I used to feel that way, and sometimes I do now. What I'm referring to is coming back down to Earth (sober) and finding something that can replace the time I used to spend tripping, or even smoking herb. When I look around at my peers, I find that what everyone else seems to be doing is kind of boring. I always liked being able to do all of that plus trip, but now that I cut it out, I'm having a hard time finding some fun when I have free time like right now. I still read, play a game or two, go out, etc. yet I've always been a person that likes to stretch the boundaries and experience something radical, so I think that's why I've always reacted to substances so well. It was pretty much one of those things that "I had been looking for." So whatever happens on trips, I just embrace it all and ride with it, barring a few lsd trips in which I had a really negative mindset to start with.

But I feel you OP. I talk to peers here and there but I couldn't imagine talking to them about "this" side of my life; the stigma about hardcore substances (except weed, which seems to be universally "cool" and accepted here in Cali) are just as strong as before, which I see when I'm out in public. I already know most of them wouldn't understand and will automatically attach all sorts of negative connotations to substance use. It's sort of understandable because a lot of dumb asses continue to ruin the image for us, and some of these substances require a high amount of discipline and steadiness, eg. something like DOPr isn't for amateurs. Yet I can tell most young adults don't think it's possible to trip hard off of a psychedelic and come away smarter for it. Or able to behave perfectly normal and sane, during and afterwards. This whole "movement" is still underground metaphorically, as well as the laws and general public perception being the same, so I don't expect most people to understand those of us who are good but have used psychedelics with a passion. I just keep my mouth shut about it because it wouldn't do any good.

One of these days though, there will be a breakthrough. MAPS is helping it all get on the map, so to speak. It's too bad that nothing beneficial coming out of illicit substance use gets publicized by the media, but I think it's only a matter of time as science and technology continues to progress.

On that note, I cannot be more annoyed by all of these crime shows demeaning substance use to the fullest and making all of the users look retarded. It's so tiring, closed-minded and continues an outdated illusion making the screen writers look like dimwits themselves. "Look, the killer left behind a trace of his DNA. He was using meth and cocaine." My gf likes these shows, but I always make fun of the hundreds of episodes of all these different crime shows that start off with "he was a drug dealer, using drugs, etc." (You know what I'm talking about; SVU, CSI, all that crap). Like, okay, it seems that there's absolutely no way to use substances without being either a serial killer or a full-on idiot. But that's the illusion society wants to create. =/

Sorry OP, this is your thread but I had to get that out.

I still find it ironic that Steve Jobs credited acid with helping his creativity, and how some law enforcers have iPhones. Putting two and two together, I couldn't think of a better counter example than that.

 

[gallardo3000]

Thank you all, you made interesting points that actually helped me understand and overcome this obstacle

 

[One Thousand Words]

You are looking at this in the opposite direction. Perhaps next time you trip you will suddenly realise that rather than being a small grain of sand in the cosmic universe you are in fact a unique symbiotic union of organs, each one working with the other under the realm of your privately controlled universe.

If you delve deeper again into the cellular level you will find millions of cells working and communicating in a complex dance, all to ensure that the you continue to survive. Let's not forget the millions of bacteria, fungi and viruses that should feel even more insignificant as they fight stubbornly for their own survival while clinging to their own private universe being hosted by your body.

Without you their world does not exist. Size and significance is all relative. Kings and queens are nothing more than ballast to our spinning planet, a hundred years of life is but a cosmic fart in the life of our universe, yet if you look inward rather than outward you start to care less about why you are here and more about why not.